Chapter 46
I Pawned My Life
The full moon had long been said to possess mysterious power.
Whether it was spiritual energy or magic—
Irina instinctively realized that the time Lurasa mentioned had come.
It might not be, but she had to check.
Irina hurried to close the window and returned to her bed.
Then she opened the small table drawer where she always kept her necklace.
She had taken it off earlier while bathing, just as usual.
Irina lifted the necklaces out.
Clink.
The two pendulum-shaped pendants knocked against each other.
Irina stared closely at them.
“…Is it not?”
But even after quite some time, nothing happened.
Even when she tapped them together or examined them separately.
Then, the clouds briefly covered the full moon.
The surroundings grew even darker than before.
Irina’s eyes widened faintly.
One of the pendulums was giving off a subtle shimmer.
Irina narrowed her eyes until she could barely see through them.
Once she noticed it, the light seemed to grow slightly brighter.
Still only barely visible to the naked eye, but much brighter compared to when she hadn’t noticed it at all.
As the clouds drifted away from the moon, the surroundings brightened again.
“….”
Irina thought the light would vanish, but once she had grown used to it, it did not disappear even as the moonlight returned.
The faint light leaking from the pendant seemed to point somewhere.
Not just glowing—it was stretching in a direction like a thin beam.
Even when she spun the pendant in a circle, the light continued to point to one place.
A faint ray of light—so weak that a bit of outside light could drown it out.
Irina stood, holding the pendulum.
It was more like being enchanted.
Her mind was now filled with the thought that she must follow the light.
Without even putting on a coat, Irina stepped outside.
It was a time when almost no one was around.
The shift had already changed long ago, and outside, only the knight guarding beyond the estate walls would be present.
Irina walked toward the direction the light pointed and stopped at the edge of the forest.
It was the place she had once tried to go to before.
And the place she had seen in her dream.
Irina swallowed.
She looked back—still no one.
A night-watch knight could arrive soon.
Gripping her nightgown with one hand, she stepped forward.
The forest swallowed her whole.
Even if a guard passed by, they wouldn’t notice—
That’s how silent it became.
Rustle… rustle.
Irina followed the faint-strengthening beam deeper inside without pausing.
In her dream it had felt quick, but now she walked for a long time.
When warmth returned to her forehead that had gone cool, a clearing appeared.
Her eyes, now accustomed to the darkness, immediately saw an old building in the center of the clearing.
“…No way.”
Irina had occasionally guessed ill fortune correctly, but she had never discovered something she had never seen before.
Yet here was the exact dilapidated warehouse-like building she had seen in her dream.
Irina searched her memory to see if she had ever seen it partially, but she had never been to Borman before this.
Without hesitation, she went up to the door and pushed it with all her strength.
Creak—
A painful sound, and just enough of an opening for her to slip inside.
Inside, an ancient smell greeted her along with a chilling atmosphere.
Fear made her hesitate, but her body moved on its own, stepping inside—
As if someone had pushed her.
…I’m scared.
But Irina couldn’t stop her steps.
The floor inside was stone.
She walked down the long passage endlessly.
At the end, there was a single door.
She stopped before it. Then, without hesitation, she opened it.
This time, instead of resistance, the door slid smoothly open despite its heavy weight.
Cough!
Thick, stinging smoke rushed out at her.
The mist-like smoke shot through the open doorway and escaped.
Darkness swallowed the space again.
Only Irina’s footsteps remained.
When she stepped into the center of the room, something blocked her path.
She looked down.
“A… coffin…?”
Too long to be called a box.
Long enough to fit a person.
It looked exactly like a coffin—
the same size as the one she had seen for her father recently.
It was too dark to see clearly, but it didn’t look old.
Many thoughts rushed through Irina’s mind.
Damian’s recent words.
Lurasa’s words.
And Howard.
Irina reached out and grabbed the end of the coffin.
At first she used a little strength. It didn’t budge.
With both hands, she pushed harder. With a dull sound, the lid shifted.
Ordinary coffins required at least two people to lift the heavy lid, but this one felt like a thin shell in comparison.
Finally, Irina managed to open it fully.
“…H—”
A person.
No.
An angel slept inside.
A black angel.
That was the only way to describe him.
Jet-black hair.
Pale, bloodless skin.
Completely still.
Eyes shut as though they would never open.
But he did not look dead.
He wasn’t breathing, but he was definitely sleeping.
A man abandoned in a pitch-black, ancient vault where no light entered.
The only light was the one from Irina’s pendulum.
The pendant hid its long ray and instead pulsed faintly, like a heartbeat.
It was without a doubt connected to him.
Who he was, she did not know.
A wave of fear and dread surged through her.
But she neither screamed nor ran.
Holding back her furious heartbeat, she reached out.
The moment her hand touched his chest—
A sharp shock stabbed through her fingers.
Before she could pull back—
Thump!
A loud heartbeat echoed.
A buzzing filled her ears, and her vision swayed nauseatingly.
“Aah!”
A severe headache struck again.
And then, a tidal wave of memories crashed down and swallowed her whole.
“Irina.”
Someone called her.
“Irina.”
So gentle.
“Irina.”
Warm and tender—so much it brought tears.
It was Howard’s voice.
Memories she had been forgetting resurfaced.
Irina’s long-forgotten memories began at the moment she stood before a knight clad in iron.
On a day when the sun shone especially bright.
The day she had long awaited.
The knight’s oath.
A sacred vow that a knight made only once in his life—
And the one receiving it was Irina herself.
“Howard.”
She called his name softly.
Before she could see his face, darkness fell again, and another memory rushed in.
“I want to live somewhere quiet by the sea.
Just the two of us.”
One day, hiding from her father, Irina shared a dream with Howard in his warm arms.
A life without status or duty.
Just the two of them loving freely.
Darkness again. Irina was running from someone.
Like her frequent nightmares.
Torch flames chased her from behind.
Holding Howard’s hand, she ran with all her strength.
A love mocked by others.
A forbidden relationship.
Behind her, her father’s furious voice rang out.
Count Kosat demanded noble pride and virtue from her.
But Irina loved Howard.
And Count Kosat did not forgive her.
A bowstring snapped.
Arrows rained toward them.
A sharp arrow pierced her back.
Soaked in blood, Irina fell, and Howard, barely alive himself, held her.
As he lifted her on his back, darkness swallowed her again.
Irina opened her eyes.
“…Ah…”
Her face was instantly covered in tears.
It wasn’t a dream.
They were her memories—her reality.
She had died there.
Her mind spun with the flood of memories.
Howard.
She had to find Howard.
Stumbling, tears soaking her face, Irina tried to stand.
But as soon as she rose, intense pain shot through her head.
Thud!
Unable to endure the shock, she collapsed to the ground.
