Chapter 16
Pawned Life –
“On our first meeting?”
“Yeah. First meeting. Oh, not really the first — second time, I guess. But it feels like the first all over again?”
Irina repeated exactly what Damian had said before.
“Twice, even.”
“Yup. Unlike someone else, he’s very kind.”
With that little jab added, Howard went quiet for a brief moment.
Only Damian, who had just been complimented, looked delighted.
But Irina’s interest in him quickly faded.
“I’ll have dinner upstairs on the second floor in a bit. How’s your headache?”
Howard’s hand touched Irina’s forehead.
A faint coolness — perhaps from whatever he had been doing — spread over her skin.
Irina shook her head slightly.
“Mm, it’s fine now.”
“Um…”
Damian approached the two of them hesitantly as they talked.
“I came to visit — aren’t you happy to see me?”
“…”
Howard remained indifferent.
At that moment, Casey came rushing toward them from behind, calling out urgently.
“My lady!”
She stopped in front of Irina, panting heavily to catch her breath.
“Why are you running like that?”
“Oh… you weren’t where you were supposed to be. I was worried you might be uncomfortable!”
“I’m fine. Did you finish tidying up?”
“Yes, you can go now!”
Irina glanced back and forth between the two men, then quietly stepped back.
Then she turned to Howard.
“There’s still time before dinner, right? I’ll stay in my room until then. You two have a wonderful time together.”
Irina held up the hem of her dress and bowed politely.
Then she turned and walked away.
“Ah! No, wait—!”
Damian’s eyes went wide as he watched her retreating figure.
But Irina ignored his cry, waved a hand over her shoulder, and followed Casey upstairs to her room.
The room, being on the top floor, was enormous — practically taking up the entire level.
“Nice,” Irina murmured.
“Everything’s been prepared, miss!”
“Thanks—”
Irina flopped down on the sofa — wider than most beds — in the spacious living room and leaned back.
It felt like heaven itself.
“You’ll be sleeping in the left room,” Casey explained. “His Excellency will be using the right.”
“Okay. Got it. You’ve worked hard, Casey. Go rest.”
After showing Irina to her room, Casey went off to the servants’ quarters — though they were right next door. She reminded Irina that she only had to pull a cord if she needed anything, then left the room.
The problem was — Irina was sleepy.
She had felt it even before coming upstairs: a bone-deep fatigue, like someone who’d stayed up all night.
According to the clock, it was only about an hour before dinner — yet it already felt like nightfall to her.
All she wanted to do was lie down.
It had been like this for days now.
Every evening, around this time, it always felt like nighttime — and she’d get overwhelmingly sleepy.
Maybe she still wasn’t used to the local climate, or maybe she was simply exhausted.
“Is the time here a little different from Arendor’s?”
She couldn’t be sure.
She had to change clothes soon and head down to the dining room, but her eyelids were already sinking.
“Oh, forget it.”
Irina forced her heavy body to rise like waterlogged cotton.
Just a quick nap — thirty minutes, before he comes.
“My room’s on the right? And Howard’s is on the left?”
She blinked her eyes open wide, glancing between the two doors, and finally stepped into the room on the right.
* * *
Howard, hearing that Irina had gone to her room, went to fetch her.
He worried she might wander around and cause trouble — her curiosity tended to get her into accidents.
It seemed her personality had changed a little over time.
Though the external circumstances probably played a bigger role…
Not long after Irina’s arrival, he had received another report from Arendor.
The man assigned to keep watch over House Kosat had contacted him.
As the saying goes — once someone’s touched alcohol, drugs, or gambling, they can’t quit.
Even after selling off his daughter, the man had gambled again.
Fortunately, Howard had managed to stop their mansion — the one Irina cherished — from being taken away.
He sighed and opened the door, determined to take stronger measures.
“…”
But the living room was empty.
Maybe she’d come up early? He checked Irina’s room — also empty.
Howard tilted his head.
“Where did she go…”
A hunch struck him, and he opened his own door.
He froze.
There, in his bed, Irina was sprawled out, barely breathing under the pillow she clutched tightly.
Her hands opened and closed, like Damian’s cat kneading.
Judging from her clothes, she hadn’t even changed.
A mistake? Or a protest?
Ah, really — what should he do with this troublesome young lady of his?
He couldn’t exactly wake her to ask, so he just let out a soft, helpless laugh.
Howard pulled the half-fallen blanket back up over her.
His touch was careful — like handling feathers.
He was about to turn and leave when he heard a small sob.
Howard froze as if under a spell.
She seemed to be dreaming, her face twisted in pain as her breathing turned rough.
He moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed.
The mattress dipped, and Irina stirred faintly.
Her nose sounded stuffed, and she gave a little sniffle; soon, the pillow began to dampen.
“…Don’t…”
She was on the verge of tears, her expression fragile and desperate.
Howard’s eyes darkened. Bitterness filled his mouth.
As a child, she’d often cried like this, tormented by nightmares.
Why did this never change?
The lingering trauma in her made him grimace.
“It’s alright. You’re alive now, aren’t you?”
His thumb brushed softly across her forehead — almost not touching at all.
More gently than if he were touching fragile glass.
Like someone who longed to touch water but feared the ripples that would follow.
His hand slid from her forehead, down through her hair, to her back, patting it slowly.
Perhaps all she’d needed was a bit of warmth.
Under his awkward touch, her sobs gradually faded.
Her expression softened, like someone basking in sunlight.
Her lashes, still wet, were darker now — the traces of her tears lingering.
Howard studied her face closely, almost obsessively, before finally forcing himself to look away and leave the room.
* * *
When Irina woke, she blinked blearily and pushed herself up.
“Oh no. I slept too long.”
The sunlight that had once filled the room had softened into evening glow.
She’d meant to nap just half an hour — but several hours had passed.
Her throat was dry. Her stomach grumbled.
And she’d had another nightmare.
Once again, she was chased endlessly — brutally killed in the end.
This time, Howard was the one who got stabbed.
It had felt so real.
Usually after such nightmares, she’d wake up with a splitting headache and a heavy heart, but today her mind felt oddly calm — her head light.
Irina stayed bundled in her blanket, unable to leave the cozy bed.
Just a little longer.
Her body still felt heavy, so she lay back down.
“Hm?”
Through the slightly open door, a faint light shone.
It was dark outside, but the light from the hall filtered in.
Moments later, a shadow moved — and Howard stepped inside.
Hands in his pockets, looking as aloof as ever.
Irina, still lying down, rolled her eyes toward him.
“Why are you coming in here?”
“Why? This is my room.”
“Your room?”
“Yes. My room.”
Howard’s tone carried mild disapproval.
Irina frowned.
“Casey said this was mine, though?”
“Lady Irina.”
“Mm?”
“Would you raise your right hand for me?”
“Why?”
Even as she asked, Irina lazily lifted her right hand.
“Now your left, please.”
“Why?”
Still questioning, she lowered her right hand and raised her left.
“Very good.”
“…Are you training me right now?”
She asked dryly.
Howard sat down on the bed beside her, smoothing out her messy hair — then placed his hand on the bed beside her head and leaned in slightly.
Like a shadow falling over her.
Thanks to that, her neck — which had started to ache from looking up at him — relaxed.
The downside was his warmth and scent, suddenly so close it made her flush.
Had he ever been this close before?
Not that she could recall. If anything, she’d been the one to lean in first.
“Your room was on the left, Lady Irina. But if you wanted to be near me, I can understand.”
“Absolutely not. You sure this is your room? Wait… did Casey say left or right…?”
Trying to recall only made it worse.
“Whatever. You can just use the other one.”
Howard exhaled softly.
“You barge into my room, and yet you sound so confident — it’s disorienting.”
“I really thought this was mine. …Anyway, isn’t it dinner time already?”
He nodded slightly.
“I got so sleepy all of a sudden.”
“I understand.”
That made Irina narrow her eyes suspiciously.
“What now?”
“Why that look?”
“You just agreed too easily. It’s suspicious.”
“I do sometimes wonder what kind of person I am inside your head.”
“If you think back on your own behavior, you could probably guess. So? Are you getting up, or not?”
If she sat up now, she’d definitely bump into him.
But he didn’t seem in any hurry to move.
He was clearly enjoying her helpless position.
Irina tried to lift herself, then gave up and relaxed.
“So, you haven’t eaten either?”
“I was about to.”
“You could’ve gone ahead.”
“I thought maybe I’d get praised if I waited.”
Howard said it teasingly.
Irina, still lying down, reached up and grabbed his tie.
She tugged it lightly toward her — and he leaned closer, like metal drawn to a magnet.
“Good boy— something like that?”
Howard let out a brief laugh.
When Irina released the tie, he straightened up.
“Casey is waiting outside.”
“Ah, right. I’ll get up too. Help me.”
Howard looked at her offered hand for a moment before finally taking it.
With his help, she rose easily.
The drowsiness that had clung to her was gone; she felt lighter now.
“Did Damian leave?”
“…Yes. Said he was busy.”
The odd pause in his tone made Irina tilt her head.
