TMLNHMB 06

Chapter 6 

Seidyn silently repeated her words in her head. She thought about what kind of comment would completely turn Luan off from her. But nothing particularly came to mind. In fact, maybe she was the one who needed medicine. Not sleeping pills, but tranquilizers.

Her heart kept racing, her hands and feet were ice cold, and she couldn’t stop reading Luan’s expression. And this… this was a chronic illness. A disease where she couldn’t bear to hurt Luan.

So, Seidyn had no choice but to speak in a hoarse voice.

“Your Majesty…”

That title must have triggered something inside him, as Luan briskly stepped forward. Seidyn instinctively gripped the doorknob tightly. She hadn’t actually intended to leave, but seeing her like that, Luan suddenly stopped. Just one more step and they would be close enough to feel each other’s trembling lashes.

It was late into the night. Even the knights and attendants guarding the emperor’s palace moved without a sound. And on that silent night, being alone with Luan in the bedroom made Seidyn blink. She was relieved Luan had stopped walking. Then, in a trembling voice, Luan spoke.

“Please don’t go.”

“…Your Majesty…”

“Or… did I frighten you, Princess?”

“…”

“I apologize. I often hear that I look cold-blooded and cunning.”

His dry lips barely moved as he spoke. He then bowed his head briefly, as if seeking forgiveness, before locking eyes with Seidyn’s trembling gaze. And in that moment, she realized—he was truly afraid.

Afraid that she might fling that door open and leave.

“I only wanted to see your face up close… and ask you to call me by my name like before.”

“Your Majesty, that was when we were children. And back when you were captured as a prisoner, it would’ve been strange for me not to use formal titles…”

“I see.”

Luan lowered his head. But this time, it wasn’t an apology. It was simply the expression of his emotion—disappointment, perhaps.

‘…!’

Seidyn bit her lip. He was now at least three times taller than before and no longer resembled the young boy he once was. But just as she had hidden an abused girl inside her, Seidyn still saw the young Luan within him.

So she opened her mouth and spoke, almost involuntarily.

“Your Majesty, I wasn’t really trying to leave. I just… panicked a bit when you came closer…”

“….”

Luan slightly lifted his head. Seidyn, letting go of the doorknob and stepping away from the door to meet his eyes, spoke cautiously, blinking. His face in the dark wasn’t clearly visible—the moonlight from outside was unfortunately behind them.

“So please don’t be disappointed. You don’t look cold-blooded or cunning at all.”

“…”

Luan didn’t respond, which made Seidyn anxious. So she bravely stepped forward. She wanted to see his face—she was worried about him. She just wanted to save Luan, not hurt him.

“Who said such a thing anyway? I mean, calling Your Majesty that? Are they sure their vision’s okay?”

She said it cheerfully on purpose. She wanted to break the awkward mood. After all, if she was to closely observe Luan and steer the original story off course, she had to stay in this palace. But she couldn’t prevent a bad ending if she was just a mysterious woman in Luan’s bedroom.

‘If I become a palace healer, I’ll be able to stay in a different wing with the other healers. That way, I can get out of Luan’s bedroom…’

Seidyn’s eyes sparkled secretly. If she became a healer, she’d not only have a valid reason to stay in the palace, but also gain an official position as Luan’s subordinate. It seemed like a solid plan. Just then, Luan slightly staggered as he watched her step closer.

“Ah!”

Startled, Seidyn hurried toward him, accidentally dropping the medicine bottle she had been clutching.

Perhaps because of that, she instinctively spread her arms wide in surprise.

Luan didn’t miss that chance and bent forward slightly—just enough to sneakily lean into her embrace.

And just like that, he practically fell into Seidyn’s arms.

His broad shoulders were firm and unwavering, but his heartbeat told a different story.

Thump thump.

His heart was saying something else entirely. And because of that, Seidyn couldn’t push him away. Not when he had found the smallest crack to wedge himself into her arms.

“…”

Luan, resting his head on her awkwardly spread arms, slightly looked up. In a normal position, she would’ve had to crane her neck to meet his gaze, but since he was leaning in, their eyes naturally met. And at that moment, his purple eyes, always vivid even in the dark, appeared unexpectedly blurry.

“You don’t have to work as a healer, Princess. It’s not like I wanted you to take that job anyway…”

“But I need a title to live in the palace. And a justification.”

Snapping back to her senses, Seidyn quickly stepped back. She then bent down to pick up the medicine bottle she had dropped. Clutching it tightly to her chest, she pressed her back against the firmly shut door behind her. It was a gesture to maintain their distance. But Luan didn’t even try to hide the way he longingly stared at her. Ignoring his desperate gaze, Seidyn traced the cold lines of the bottle with her fingers. After swallowing dryly, she said:

“You said it’s better when I treat you, right? Then just give me a formal position and use me properly. Don’t make a simple thing complicated, Your Majesty.”

But Luan let out a faint sigh, as if troubled.

“Do you remember… when I destroyed the mountain range and came rushing to the palace where you were?”

“…”

She tried to recall. She had dreamt of the reunion not long ago. Of the entire mountain range crumbling and the royal palace drenched in blood and fire. But it was all hazy, like a foggy memory. The only thing that stood out vividly to her… was Luan. When the boy who had once been treated as a royal family’s lab rat survived, just like in the original story, and came back for her…

Seidyn smiled faintly. She knew she should’ve been afraid of him—drenched in blood, wearing a battered suit of armor, having killed all the royals who tormented her. But she wasn’t scared. Because it was Luan.

That thought made her frown. This was the problem. She kept placing Luan in her personal emotional space. If she wanted a smooth happy ending and for Luan to survive, she had to be colder. So she pressed the bottle—symbolizing the start of Luan’s divine power instability and a sign of his death—firmly to her chest and calmly said:

“I do remember meeting Your Majesty. You saved me. How could I ever forget that?”

“Even after ten years, the Princess still notices my childish attempts to get your attention.”

“That’s just my healer instincts talking.”

“I see.”

“To be more precise… it was because I witnessed Your Majesty’s hardships as a child. That memory drove me to act impulsively. But aside from that, I now have a duty to treat Your Majesty—as your loyal subject and friend.”

“…”

“So please use me as you see fit.”

Seidyn smiled brightly. She placed the almost-empty bottle firmly on the table and declared clearly:

“So starting tomorrow, please transfer me to another wing. I’m not someone who should be invading your private space.”

She turned her head away and quietly stepped aside to avoid standing too close to Luan. Sitting down on a small chair by the table, she fiddled with the bottle to shake off the awkwardness. Just then, Luan, lost in thought, calmly sat down on the chair across from her. Rubbing his temple, he murmured:

“I understand what you’re saying, Princess. You’re telling me that it was okay for me to destroy a kingdom to come save you… but not okay to love you.”

“…”

“You’re still as strange as ever, Princess.”

Luan spoke slowly, gazing intently at the small woman clutching the bottle like it was her lifeline. Her silver hair glowed faintly in the dark, flowing loosely down to her waist. She wore a loose satin nightgown and looked utterly unbothered in front of him—like she didn’t feel the need to carry herself with formality at all. That said everything.

She didn’t see him as a man.

“…Ha.”

Luan let out a long, heavy sigh and rubbed his furrowed brow.