Chapter 132
“An Emotion Beyond Joy”
“Lift your head.”
Rob said to the knight who had collapsed after running.
“I-I… I should stop now…”
“Unfortunately, that’s not in the contract, Knight,” Rob replied.
He stepped forward, lifting the face of the person behind the mask. His long fingers, marked with scars from old wounds, moved with an air of annoyance.
‘I thought this would be useful.’
For someone about to join the Imperial Knights, the stats were unimpressive.
He had been chosen instead of an Elche knight, but it seemed expectations were too high.
Rob’s expression, emotionless as always, showed a brief hint of exhaustion.
Eight.
Eight people. Surely, this much work strains the body.
But if one person’s effort could complete a great task, what could be more joyful?
It seemed proven enough that he could wield the Sword Master experimentally.
Was this enough preparation?
It was time to move on.
Rob turned with an unreadable smile.
“Ah, now I feel refreshed.”
I had finished washing.
The rain had been relentless, like someone poured the sea into the sky, soaking me completely. Luckily, Roitz’s house was nearby.
‘Where is Roitz?’
He must have finished washing too.
I looked around the residence: the reception room, the hallways, the study, the guest room.
“Commander.”
“Serdin?”
I finally found him in front of the bedroom. He had been sitting on the bed but now stood up.
‘Being here…’
Every time I came here, memories of that day resurfaced.
The strange heartbeat, the heat I felt the first time I entered Roitz’s residence.
Maybe I had liked him since then?
Though I hadn’t labeled my feelings, I realized they had existed for quite a long time—before I even consciously knew it.
Even before joining Elche, Roitz had held the same place in my heart since Yudern.
But the difference between realizing it and not realizing it was huge.
“Serdin.”
When he calls me softly like that, my heart trembles.
“Why are you standing there?”
Roitz started walking toward me.
Blushing, I stepped farther inside the bedroom to keep some distance.
I stood in the corner, staring only at Roitz. Outside the closed window, the rain fell softly.
The wind blew, and the door clicked shut.
“…….”
I continued staring at Roitz.
He walked toward the door.
Was he leaving? I wanted to stay and talk longer.
“Wait!”
I rushed toward him, but in my hurry, my foot caught, almost making me fall.
“……!”
The moment I stumbled, a dizzying feeling came over me. I felt clumsy, showing a poor side of myself.
As I struggled to regain balance, Roitz quickly reached me and supported me.
It was the quick reflex of the Knight Commander.
He wrapped my waist, and I bumped my forehead against his chest.
Water from my still-wet hair splashed onto his face.
“Ah, sorry.”
…Phew. Why am I so clumsy?
I wiped the water from his face. My fingertip brushed his lips.
“…….”
Roitz blinked, taking a breath.
“No, I didn’t mean that. I thought about it a lot before, but now… it wasn’t intentional.”
My face turned hot. Seeing his closed lips made me dizzy.
‘I thought once would be enough…’
But after the first kiss, I realized I was wrong. Once was not enough.
Honestly, I wanted to ask if I could kiss him again.
‘Should I ask?’
But the words wouldn’t come.
‘Why can’t I speak when I could before?’
Before the first kiss, I didn’t think much. I just wondered what would happen if lips met. But now I knew the feelings, the sensations, everything.
So asking to try again felt impossible.
“…….”
I stayed silent, staring at Roitz’s lips.
Suddenly, he laughed.
“Why?”
“Nothing.”
“Why!”
Then, he leaned closer and lightly kissed my cheek.
“This okay?”
His soft voice brushed my ear, carrying a gentle laugh.
I froze like a doll, only blinking.
I stammered nervously:
“…Yes? What?”
“No? Then.”
This time, the sweet touch fell near my eyes.
Roitz’s hands found mine and intertwined fingers.
“…What is this, really?”
“This isn’t it either? Then.”
The touch moved from my cheek and eyes to my lips.
He took my breath lightly and smiled playfully.
“This?”
“…….”
“Yes?”
“…Yes.”
My voice barely came out. My heart, however, thumped loudly.
“Say what?”
He had heard me, but still leaned closer to ask.
“I said yes, that’s… right.”
“Good.”
Taking advantage of my weakened state, Roitz pulled me close.
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me with intensity.
Though usually gentle, his kisses now were as strong as his swordsmanship.
I wanted to respond with equal strength, but he pushed me overwhelmingly.
My mind went blank as he exhaled sharply.
“Hah…”
I gasped back.
Yet Roitz wouldn’t let me pull away.
The long kiss continued.
He held the back of my head, but because of our height difference, my neck strained looking up.
“This is hard…”
Roitz pulled back slightly.
I watched him with my eyes, lips pressed lightly. My neck hurt, yet my heart felt unsatisfied.
Next, he sat on the bed and pulled me onto his lap.
“…Ah!”
I now looked down at him. His strong arms wrapped my waist.
“Like this?”
He smiled playfully, making me hug his neck.
His eyes, bright and full of light, stared at me.
“Why….”
I asked, fingers resting on his shoulders.
Instead of answering, his gaze moved to my lips, bold yet gentle.
Then I realized:
Roitz had never planned to let me go, no matter my mood.
I didn’t know why, but I smiled.
Was it joy? No, not just joy…
‘I’m happy.’
Yes. Truly happy.
He smiled at me so beautifully. He expected something from me, returned the warmth I gave him, and more.
It felt like pure happiness.
I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realized this in all these years with him.
Only one person could give me this feeling. Only one person could make me feel this way.
And that person was Roitz.
I smiled, and Roitz returned a warm smile.
He kissed my eyes, nose, and cheeks gently, then slowly intertwined our breaths.
“Serdin.”
Roitz exhaled sharply, the sound rough.
His hand moved along my back.
Every touch sent shivers through me, yet I couldn’t stop.
It felt long.
…No, actually it was short.
I didn’t know where the time went.
All I knew was I could never feel the same way about him again.
And one more thing:
I love this person.
I had never felt like this before, yet I knew what this emotion was.
His gaze, the warmth in his voice, confirmed it.
The short night passed by.
