Chapter 9
“Vivian! Vivian!”
I barely woke up to Raina’s voice, whining like a child.
A dull ache spread through my body, making it hard to open my eyes. It felt like I had just closed them, but somehow, it was already the next day.
“What exactly happened yesterday that Father is bedridden? And why did Theodoor suddenly propose to you?”
They were questions I was curious about myself, so I couldn’t answer Raina.
“We’ll never know what’s going on inside his head. Anyway, I’m not going through with this marriage.”
“What? Snap out of it! If you let this chance slip away, you’re done for. If not Theodoor, you might have to marry the Border Count!”
No. I have Lucas.
I chewed on the words I couldn’t say out loud and thought of my perfect husband — his soft blond hair, the gold-rimmed glasses that suited him so well.
Surely, he would recognize me at first sight.
Somehow, things had gone all wrong, but I hadn’t accepted Theodoor’s proposal yet. All I had to do was hurry up and catch Lucas’s eye.
“It’s not going to be Theodoor, and it’s not going to be the Border Count. I’ll find another way.”
“What other way? To break off an engagement, you need twice the dowry…!”
Lucas would pay dozens of times that dowry to take me away. Even if no one believes that now.
“Whether I explain things to Father or sneak it out of the vault, I’ll give Theodoor back his five million gold coins, and then figure out how to pay back the other five million…”
Raina cut me off with an incredulous look.
“You must be too young and naive to understand the world. Even selling this entire mansion probably wouldn’t fetch five million gold! Vivian, don’t be like this. Is it because he’s a commoner that it bothers you?”
“To be honest, that’s exactly why I like him even more.”
I replayed in my mind the expression on his face as he looked down at me — beaten by the Count and lying on the ground.
He seemed to see his own younger self in me.
“He doesn’t admire me. He just wanted to see the Count so overwhelmed with gratitude for ‘salvaging’ his youngest daughter from the basement that he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.”
“People don’t choose a lifelong partner for reasons like that,” Raina said with an innocent face, as if she truly believed in people.
“You don’t know him, Sister. Just look at how suddenly he’s pretending to be a businessman…”
“No. If you’re going to keep talking like this, let’s stop. I don’t want to badmouth someone who might be your future husband from behind.”
Her resolute answer made my head throb with frustration.
Even if it meant sacrificing my dignity and kneeling before him, I wanted to finalize this annulment as quickly as possible.
But before that, I needed to get back the dowry my father had swallowed.
As I opened the door to the Count’s palace-like chambers, the eyes of the butler and the attending maids all flew toward me at once.
“Miss, the Count needs absolute rest right now. Come back tomorrow.”
Tab, my eldest sister Leah’s husband and the Count’s personal physician, prattled on.
Until I married Lucas, I had trusted my father, Count Dartion, his butler (his right-hand man), and my brother-in-law Tab — who was also my physician — without question.
“Vivian, since you can’t laugh or cry on cue, you’d only struggle if you went to the academy.”
And so, I never once set foot inside an academy.
“A well-known astrologer told me that if a cursed girl sees too much sunlight, her skin will turn into snake scales and she might even become a snake.”
When I was told to stay in the basement, I obediently followed, assuming there was a reason for it.
“You’ll need to get married soon too. Wouldn’t it make a pretty picture if you could smile at your wedding?”
I swallowed every pill they gave me, without missing a single one.
I never dared to imagine a life outside this mansion. I just did as I was told.
“…Seeing a quack doctor means you’ll never get better.”
“What? How dare you speak to your brother-in-law like that?”
“You said that if I took the pills you prescribed for ten full years, I’d finally be able to smile brightly, didn’t you?”
“W-Well, yes,” Tab mumbled in a barely audible voice.
“The royal physician said they’re just regular sleeping pills with different coloring.”
It was only after marrying Lucas that I slowly began to realize the world I believed in wasn’t everything.
“Huh?”
He was so flustered that he just smacked his lips, and the butler spoke up instead.
“Ever since yesterday, Miss Vivian keeps talking about the royal palace. She must have truly lost her mind now.”
At that, the maids stifled their giggles.
“Acting so rudely all the time could be another symptom of her madness. There’s no help for it — we’ll have to significantly increase her dosage.”
I was so astounded by Tab’s words that I shot back.
“The only reason I let it slide is because you’re Leah’s husband. If I made an issue of it, I’d just end up badmouthing my own family.”
Then the Count, whose wrists, neck, and shoulders were wrapped in excessive bandages, spoke slowly in a dying voice.
“Stop causing a commotion and go back to your room.”
“No, Father. Give me back the entire dowry you received from Theodoor. Right now.”
“What, are you trying to break off the engagement? Don’t smear your father’s face any further. Do you know how much I think of you? I accepted Theodoor’s proposal for your sake!”
“So letting it slide even though you knew my brother-in-law was prescribing sleeping pills — was that for my sake too?”
“I don’t know what your imaginary royal physician said, but those sleeping pills — I asked Tab to prescribe them.”
“…Honestly, Father, you always exceed my expectations.”
“Anyway, they’re not harmful to your body, are they? Thanks to them, you’ve been sleeping well. What else is there to do in the basement? Staring wide-eyed would only make you suffer.”
I was appalled by his chilling audacity.
“So you lock up a cursed girl, drug her to keep her asleep, and then sell her off to the highest bidder — is that it?”
“Vivian, you’re too emotional. Think rationally about the outcome. You’ve been sleeping well thanks to the medicine, and instead of some hideous Border Count, a perfectly decent man like Theodoor proposed to you. How about trying to be grateful for the life you’ve been given?”
My father’s lips, wrapped in mummy-like bandages, twitched lightly like a sparrow’s.
“I will never marry Theodoor. So give back everything you received. Please. Whatever is lacking, I’ll somehow…”
“How can you be so selfish?”
Just then, Tab, who had been silent, screeched at me.
“Not only did you just stand by and watch as that lowlife Theodoor tried to break the Count’s wrist, but now you want all the dowry back too?”
It seemed the Count had conveniently left out the part where he struck first when telling others. To think such a despicable man was my father.
“There are many ears listening, so let’s stop here. How could you, a young lady who has everyone doing everything for you while you do nothing, possibly understand how much capital it takes to maintain a family?”
The butler was pouring oil onto a fire.
The Count, silent for a long while, spoke in a cracked voice.
“Vivian, you seem to think I took that money for my own good. But I still haven’t fully repaid the debt your mother left behind.”
Wait. What is he talking about?
“Mother’s debt?”
This was something I hadn’t heard even in my previous life.
“Before your mother passed so tragically, she fell victim to a huge fraud. She was pregnant with you at the time — I suppose she was too exhausted to think clearly.”
When I thought of Countess Anne Dartion — my mother, who died giving birth to me — my throat closed up and I could barely breathe.
“…”
If I hadn’t existed, she would still be alive today.
If the curse of being unable to laugh or cry is my punishment for being born into this world by killing my mother, then I would gladly accept that much.
“What about the swindler? Did you report him to the Imperial Police?”
“Well… we couldn’t find him. That’s why we’re still paying off the debt.”
As the Count stammered, Tab snapped at me with a reproachful expression.
“Now that you finally know, apologize immediately. To me and to the Count.”
Never had I wanted a glass of wine more — the one that was always within reach at the imperial palace.
I stood there blankly, staring at Tab. He twirled his finger around his temple and glanced at the maids. His lips formed the words: Can you believe this lunatic?
Aware of the maids smirking, he gave a sly, lecherous look.
“I cannot apologize. Because I’ve done nothing wrong.”
“D-Did you see that insolence?”
“Though I could offer you some advice instead of an apology.”
Soon, Tab would be caught in an affair — I knew this because I had already lived through this life once.
“Brother-in-law, you’d better keep yourself in check.”
When I looked down at the crotch of his pants, Tab stammered in embarrassment.
“Wh-Where are you looking?”
Later, when Leah found out the truth, she grabbed Tab by the hair and didn’t let go for hours. After that, he lived with permanent bald patches.
“You might want to start a baldness treatment as well, just in case. Hair, once lost, never returns.”
It was the first time — even including my previous life — that I had lashed out at my elders like this.
My heart, which had been pounding recklessly, seemed to settle down, and I even felt a sense of relief.
Instead of using my hand, I slammed the Count’s door shut with my left foot.
