Chapter 46
“I thought I should apologize in person, so I stopped by for a moment. I’m sorry, especially after borrowing your clothes.”
For some reason, Demian handed me an apology.
Receiving his words made my chest tighten even more.
Demian had been looking forward to attending the ball after a long time.
And this time, he had friends there too. Even though he worried about money, I could feel how excited he was.
I held Demian’s hand tightly and said,
“You’d be upset too. Don’t hold it all in, Demian.”
It reminded me of the words I had said to him after last year’s ball.
Back then, Demian had cried when he heard me say it. But now, he just smiled.
It wasn’t the forced smile of someone holding back tears.
It was a calm smile, as if he had grown used to giving up and no longer felt sad.
“Lily, I’ll return this to you.”
Demian pulled his hand away from mine and took something out of his pocket.
He handed me the teleportation magic stone that Lu had given him as a gift.
I stared at the stone in my hand, frowning, and looked at Demian.
I didn’t understand why he was giving it back.
“I’ll be busy with work for a while, and I won’t be able to come until this stone’s duration ends. Give it to someone who needs it more than me.”
The one-year stone was already close to expiring, but Lu had replaced Demian’s with a new one when he got a new stone for himself.
So the stone probably still had almost a year left.
Hearing that he wouldn’t be able to visit for so long, I slowly began to accept the situation.
“I’ll definitely come visit once things calm down.”
“……At least write to me.”
“Yes, every day.”
Demian smiled at me. It was the smile he always wore, but there was no longer any brightness in it.
He didn’t say much else, but he seemed tired now.
The young master who used to cry at the slightest thing and laugh like a child was no longer in front of me.
I leaned my head against the wall, watching Demian leave the palace.
All I could hope for was that he would somehow get through this time safely.
I walked into Lu’s room with heavy steps.
Lu didn’t scold or get angry at me for being late.
Instead, he wore a dark expression similar to mine.
As soon as I entered, my eyes met Lu’s, who was sitting at the tea table.
It seemed the other maids had helped him get ready, because he was already in his tuxedo.
He gave a faint, sharp smile and spoke to me.
“……Did you meet Demian?”
“Yes.”
I frowned and collapsed onto Lu’s bed.
After lying there for a while, I buried my face in the pillow and finally spoke.
“I’m annoyed.”
“About what?”
“I don’t know… everything.”
I didn’t exactly know why I felt annoyed.
Baron Olivier might have been the one to blame, but for some reason, I was irritated with Demian too. More precisely, I was annoyed about the situation he was in.
Demian didn’t face dramatic misfortunes or trials like in a novel.
It was just realistic poverty. He had no way to release his frustrations toward a careless father.
Growing up holding everything in alone, Demian had become someone who couldn’t express his feelings and just grew tired.
The bright boy he seemed to be was actually the most sensitive among us.
“Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up after I get back.”
I nodded, keeping my face buried in the pillow.
The ball would start soon, and Lu seemed to be heading there.
I only lifted my head after the door closed.
Outside the large window, darkness was settling in.
I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking of the friend who kept coming to mind.
After a short nap, I finally opened my eyes.
I hadn’t planned to be out so long, but walking around with Chris had tired me out, I guess.
I didn’t know how long I had slept, but the sky outside was full of stars.
I stretched and got out of bed.
Sleeping had eased some of my gloom.
Looking at the darkened room made my heart feel empty.
I brushed my messy hair to one side and opened the terrace curtains. The moment I did, the cold winter wind rushed into the room.
“Ah… it’s cold…”
I regretted not wrapping myself in the blanket. The chilly air swept over me, and I wished I had just slept a bit longer.
Following my breath rising in the cold air, I lifted my head.
The sky was full of countless stars, and all my regret melted away.
As always, the night sky during the ball was beautiful.
It reminded me of the night sky at the previous duke’s ball, when I watched with Deriksha.
Looking at the stars, I suddenly laughed.
Back then, I could at least enter the ballroom to watch, but now I couldn’t even get in.
I wondered what I had been feeling sympathy for in Demian. Now, I wasn’t even a noble—I wasn’t even a commoner.
I should have been worried about going to jail, yet I was worrying about someone else.
I felt foolish thinking back on myself.
Standing alone in the noisy palace, I felt lonely.
Since becoming Lily, this was the first time I had been alone like this.
At the dorm, I was always with Deriksha, and at work, I was with Lu.
I had thought of myself as a bright person, but just being alone brought up all these negative thoughts.
I breathed in the cold wind and closed my eyes tightly.
This feeling was unfamiliar to me.
“Where did you go?”
Startled, I opened my eyes and looked toward the voice.
Lu had entered through the terrace curtains, looking slightly displeased.
“……The ball?”
“I knew you’d be doing this alone, so I only came to watch the wedding.”
He draped a blanket he had brought around my shoulders.
Even though it was the middle of the ball, why did he come? Lu frowned and spoke.
“Why would you come out to the terrace in the middle of winter?”
I held the edge of the blanket tightly.
Just being wrapped in it, my cold body immediately felt warm.
Seeing Lu act as he usually did—annoying me as usual—made me laugh.
“The stars are pretty.”
Lu looked surprised at my words.
Normally, I would have stayed in the warm room, not cared about the stars.
But somehow, every time it was the ball, I became sentimental. Today especially.
“……What’s pretty about that?”
Lu looked up at the stars with me. He had no sense of romance at all. I glared at him, annoyed.
“You read romance novels, yet you have no feelings at all?”
“Ah, I was just reading out of boredom.”
Lu’s excuse made me laugh. He always read romance novels in his free time anyway.
I glanced at him and chuckled.
No need for seriousness—it was actually better this way.
When I was with Lu, this kind of relaxed, calm atmosphere felt comfortable.
No tension, just peace.
I liked moments like this, which was why I always stuck close to Lu.
Even during this palace ball, I spent more time in Lu’s room than with Deriksha.
I wondered when I had started feeling comfortable around Lu. Choosing him over Deriksha surprised even me.
I unconsciously spent more time with Lu than with Deriksha.
I rested my chin on my elbow on the terrace railing, staring at Lu, smiling.
“I’ll give you second place, I guess.”
“……What do you mean?”
I shrugged at his question. Of course, first place was Deriksha.
Deriksha, my first choice, had already gotten her happy ending, so now I was curious about Lu’s ending.
I smiled softly and said to Lu,
“Master, I hope you meet someone good soon.”
I wanted him to find someone to fill the emptiness, to experience a peaceful love. Not the dramatic, hardship-filled kind from novels.
As Chris said, love wasn’t always a grand, overwhelming feeling.
He didn’t have to go through obstacles just because he was a character in a novel.
I hoped he would simply meet someone he liked, love normally, and have a happy ending without trials or drama.
Not giving everything to the person he loved, but still being able to care for himself in a normal relationship.
I hoped he would experience calm, peaceful love—not the clingy, tragic kind in novels.
Lu didn’t frown, nor question what I meant.
Even though my words were unexpected, he smiled.
It was a gentle smile, and his gaze toward me was also kind.
“I already have.”
I was the one surprised by his sudden words.
I stared at him blankly.
Moonlight touched Lu’s purple eyes, making it impossible to look away.
I finally came back to my senses and asked,
“……What?”
“I already have someone.”
Lu smiled, his round eyes curving.
“Someone I like.”
His smile was so pure.
I couldn’t say a word. I was speechless.
The moment I heard him, a strange feeling began to rise inside me.
It wasn’t the feeling of time stopping or being hit in the head.
It just slowly seeped in.
Emotions I hadn’t known I had suddenly flooded over me, wrapping my entire body.
A smile I had seen every day now felt different, and my face felt hot.
It was the first time I had ever felt this emotion—the feeling I had been so curious about.
