Chapter 65
So, I hadn’t intended to say it that way from the start.
But after spending the entire night in battle, riding for hours without proper rest, my mind wasn’t functioning properly.
The anxiety of possibly being caught in a lie didn’t help either. My sharpened nerves were restricting my thought process to the extreme.
At this rate, I was afraid I might make a slip of the tongue in front of my wife.
“I’m sorry, but I’d like it if you went back now.”
And so the words in question came out.
Even while riding, despite my exhaustion, I had held onto the thought that I could still see my wife and pushed the horse forward.
Attaching a brief apology beforehand was the best I could manage in that moment.
And I had said it as kindly as I could.
“Ah…”
The expression that flashed across Cecilia’s face immediately made my heart drop as if it had fallen to the floor.
“I’m sorry. I guess I made you tired despite being busy.”
“No.”
“I’ll ask Noah to deliver the documents. Could you review them when you have a moment?”
“I can do that anytime, Cecilia.”
My stomach churned.
In my urgency, I grabbed Cecilia’s fingertips, and with empty hands pressed to my forehead, I paused to choose my words carefully.
But before I could even speak again, her hand slipped softly out of mine.
Faced with this clear rejection, my body froze.
“Rest well.”
Her smile was flawless, leaving no chance for me to ask if she was upset.
Standing alone in the empty room, I curled my hands as if to hold onto the warmth that had briefly stayed there.
What should I have done?
I didn’t know an answer that could satisfy everyone.
But one thing was certain: even if it was like this, choosing to keep the secret was the right decision.
My wife must have been carrying a fear of the monsters since the attack.
Just realizing that monsters could trample their homes would shatter her comfortable daily life in an instant.
I knew well how fear gnaws at a person’s life.
How miserable life could be when you lived constantly on edge.
I feared that my wife, whose health had been deteriorating little by little, would eventually leave this place.
That alone made me tremble.
The night was deepening.
I had resolved to visit Cecilia first thing at sunrise.
But when I opened my eyes, I found a note waiting for me from the outpost, sent to find me.
I paused in silence, wearing a troubled expression, and let out a short sigh before getting up.
I knew this was not something I could postpone just because I didn’t want to do it.
Fulfilling my duties as the Duke was something I was painfully familiar with.
All of it—the governance of a vast duchy, training knights, hunting monsters—it was all part of my responsibility.
But why, this time, was leaving so difficult?
I mechanically prepared to leave, and then glanced at my attendant standing beside me.
“Noah.”
“Yes.”
“Tell the Duchess… my wife, that she doesn’t need to worry about the budget and can plan however she wants.”
Even if I couldn’t meet her myself, I had to deliver these words.
Knowing what Cecilia had recently been invested in, I could roughly guess why she had sought me out the day before.
Noah lowered his head without a word.
Cecilia, who remained in the castle after I had left, received news of me a step too late.
“He had to step out for an urgent matter.”
“Yes. He asked me to apologize for not being able to report properly and said that the Duchess can plan according to her wishes anytime. Of course, there’s no need to worry about the budget either.”
Cecilia didn’t say much, but Noah, feeling slightly guilty, rambled on defending me.
It wouldn’t have been a lie to say I thought, Do we really have to go this far?
“…But after all the time I’ve known him.”
Even to him, the current Duchess looked fragile.
Her expression was the one I often saw when hearing other staff’s worries—smiling, but not really smiling.
A cold sweat ran down my spine.
Even he felt the constant urgency to advocate for his friend.
Fortunately, the Duchess seemed to take his words at face value. Her expression softened considerably compared to before, and she smiled brightly.
“Thank you, Noah. It’s nice to know I can decorate things to my heart’s content.”
“Ha ha, ha…”
“Shall we buy all the fabric and lace without worrying about bankruptcy?”
“…I believe the Duchess would handle it happily.”
Hearing his response, Cecilia laughed softly as if air had escaped through her lips.
“Alright. I also know that Lotreben isn’t that rich yet.”
If she were that wealthy, would she have actually considered buying everything?
Noah almost asked but instinctively closed his mouth. It was better not to.
Instead of teasing him further, Cecilia quietly retrieved the documents she had brought to me the day before and handed them over.
“When the Duke returns, give him this. The subject is that he has allowed me to do as I wish, so I’ll proceed with what I have planned first.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
This was serious. I had thought she was in a much better mood, but apparently not.
A chill ran down my spine again.
The Duchess’s words sounded ordinary at first glance.
…Until yesterday, she called him ‘my husband.’
Returning to such a distant form of address could only mean one thing.
The emergency alert might not just be at one outpost.
As I quietly lifted my gaze to study Cecilia’s expression…
“You don’t need to worry so much.”
“Huh?”
“No need to tell your husband. Maybe my nerves were a bit on edge because I wasn’t feeling well.”
Cecilia smiled lightly, as if reading my thoughts.
Her expression was noticeably easier to read than before. Once Noah confirmed that some of her negative feelings had lifted, he cautiously asked:
“…Are you feeling alright?”
“Mm. If I feel worse, I’ll just tell someone to bring me medicine.”
A vague answer. But Cecilia seemed determined not to answer any further questions, and rose promptly.
“You’re working hard in the middle of it all. Please take care of this again this time.”
“No, this is originally my responsibility anyway.”
“But accept my thanks.”
Patting Noah’s shoulder gently, she turned around.
She was a gentle and considerate lady. Noah couldn’t ask anything more.
Only after the door closed and Noah left did Cecilia let out a light sigh.
She understood the situation and knew it wasn’t something to feel hurt about.
Even though she understood it logically, her heart hadn’t accepted it yet.
This is just… so childish!
It was a childish way of handling things. Thinking of Noah and Yuri struggling, her face flushed in frustration.
She fanned herself lightly with her hand, letting out a small groan.
This was the first time she’d felt such emotions, and she had no idea how to handle them.
Was this the fear of love?
Perhaps she could vaguely understand the book characters making irrational choices.
Faced with such an incomprehensible problem, Cecilia had only one way to act immediately:
Focus on something else.
Looking down at the garden, she lightly tapped her cheek, steeled her gaze, and walked forward with determination.
Fortunately, she still had plenty of tasks to occupy her.
