~Chapter 81~
Beep—
That familiar sound rang out. It was Fabian’s subordinate checking my mana.
Pushing up his glasses, he looked at the paper that had printed out.
“There’s no major issue this time either. The mana flow is the same as always.”
“That’s good,” Fabian replied.
With his arms crossed, Fabian gave a short nod, then turned to me.
“You may have gotten better at controlling mana outbursts, but don’t let your guard down. You’re basically living with a time bomb inside you.”
“Yes…”
I nodded obediently, looking up at him.
Actually, I had been sneaking glances at Fabian for a while now.
‘Why… does he look so handsome today?’
Of course, Fabian was handsome. How should I put it—charming, even.
If Albert was like a sharp, elegant arctic fox, Fabian had the allure of a rose—mysterious, alluring, and dangerous.
The two were completely different types, but both were undeniably attractive.
Still… why couldn’t I look him in the eyes these days? Why did his face suddenly look so different, as if I were seeing him through some new filter?
More than anything…
“I have a question,” I said.
“Ask,” Fabian replied.
“Can mana make your heart beat faster?”
“…?”
At my sudden question, Fabian tilted his head.
“No. But if your heart races, it can trigger mana to go out of control.”
“I see…”
So it wasn’t mana. Then maybe arrhythmia? Did Irene have a heart condition before?
‘…Nonsense!’
I shook my head. No way. Why on earth was my heart beating so fast just from looking at Fabian?!
Fabian seemed to notice something odd in my expression and tilted his head again, but soon said:
“Well… I’ll be going now.”
“F-Fabian.”
“…What is it?”
He turned back, just about to leave with his subordinate.
“I…”
I opened my mouth to say it.
Would you… like to be introduced to someone? Actually, there’s a young lady who likes you… Lady Elina, the Count’s daughter. She’s cute, pretty, and would suit you well…
“…Never mind. Haha.”
After all that hesitation, I ended up blurting something meaningless.
Wow. I couldn’t do it. What was happening to me?
“Just… I had fun today. Please go safely.”
“…?”
Why… why couldn’t I introduce him? Even I didn’t understand my own feelings.
That evening after dinner,
I sat at the tea table, scribbling something with my quill.
“To Lady Elina,
Sorry for the late reply. I’ve been busy, so I only just got to answer.
About your request… unfortunately, I don’t think I can help.
I asked Fabian, but… he said he isn’t interested in romance.”
“Ugh…”
Letting my hand slip, I flopped forward on the table.
I couldn’t believe I was writing such a fake letter.
Why am I like this…
I wanted to help Lady Elina. She was a sweet girl, and we had grown close. Normally, I’d grant her request.
But Fabian—Fabian was different. I just couldn’t introduce him.
If she had asked for Albert or Eric, I would’ve gladly helped. Albert was never someone I desired, and Eric—though I treasured him as my “sub male lead”—I still would’ve supported him with good will.
But Fabian… why did it feel impossible?
“Anyway, Fabian would’ve refused even if I asked him,” I muttered to myself, trying to comfort my own guilty heart.
Fabian had lived over a century without once showing interest in romance. He surely would have turned it down.
This way, I was just sparing him the trouble. That’s all.
But deep down… I already knew.
Somewhere along the way, the way I looked at Fabian had changed.
“What do I do…”
A sigh escaped me.
I really had fallen for him, hadn’t I? I was interested in Fabian.
Love—something I had never experienced, not even once in my previous life. Back then, survival was all I knew. I never even had the chance to feel such excitement.
Maybe… maybe God gave me this chance, to know love before I die.
“Ha… why did my heart suddenly turn out like this…”
Was it because Fabian understood me better than anyone? Maybe.
Knock, knock.
Just then, someone knocked at my door.
I set down the quill in the ink bottle.
“Come in.”
“Milady…”
The door opened carefully. A head peeked inside.
It was Harry Jackson.
“I heard you called for me.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
I smiled warmly. Earlier, I had asked Sophie to tell him to stop by after work.
Harry entered the room still in his servant’s uniform, probably coming straight after his duties.
At my gesture, he sat across from me.
“Did you just finish work?”
“Yes. I had some things to wrap up, so it took longer than usual.”
“You work hard. Is everything going well these days?”
“Thanks to your care, Milady. I have no difficulties.”
Harry smiled as he replied.
“By the way, Pin is doing much better. He’s been reading a lot these days.”
“Haha, really? No wonder I haven’t seen him around. That makes me proud.”
I had heard Pin practically lived in the library now, devouring books ever since he learned to read. I didn’t want to disturb his growth, so I had been spending more time on my own too.
“But… why did you call me here?” Harry asked cautiously.
“Right.”
I smiled softly and got to the point.
“Harry, would you like my sponsorship?”
“…Pardon?”
He blinked, confused.
The thought had struck me after attending the exhibition. With so much money at hand, why hadn’t I considered sponsoring Harry before?
He was a painter too. And I had every ability to support him.
“I really liked the painting you made for me. If it’s alright, I’d like to sponsor you as an artist. What do you think?”
“A-ah, no, Milady! You’ve already done so much. You’ve cared for Pin and even given him education. I don’t deserve more…”
Flustered, Harry waved his hands.
I just looked at him quietly and smiled.
“I know you’ll feel burdened. I know you’ll think it’s too much.”
But still… I wanted to help Harry and Pin. That was my sincere wish.
Harry wasn’t like a romantic lead to me—he was like a mirror of my old self. That’s why I couldn’t ignore him.
I wanted to give him hope. To show him that his life, too, could have possibilities.
“But I truly liked your art. And nobles sponsoring artists for culture’s sake is very common.”
“….”
“Do you already have a patron? If you do, then I won’t push…”
“N-no! I don’t have anyone!”
Harry blurted out quickly, almost grabbing my hand. Then, embarrassed, he scratched his head and sighed.
“It’s just… I feel guilty. I keep living off your kindness.”
“….”
“Then, forgive me, Milady, but I’ll shamelessly accept—just this once more.”
Harry’s eyes suddenly burned with determination.
“Because… I really, truly want to become a famous painter.”
Seeing his eyes blazing with passion, I smiled with satisfaction.
Yes… this was definitely the right choice.
