Chapter 18
“Don’t even open your mouth in the presence of high-ranking nobles. No acting like you know something. No showing off.”
“You’re nothing. Your very existence is lowly, so keep your mouth shut.”
It was what her second sister, Itar, always used to say. Maybe that’s why. Even though she had felt okay when she was alone with Argent, Frey’s hands were now damp with sweat.
She forced a smile to seem fine, but her face had gone paler than usual.
Showing any emotion in front of others had become something frightening for her. Whether she did well or not, even staying silent would often earn her scoldings.
“I’ll introduce them to you. Chancellor Lloyd, General Felson who’s in charge of the imperial capital’s defenses, Duke Velbra, Duke Atran. And finally, Supreme Commander of the imperial army, Rassel, and Vice Commander Ian.”
Worried Frey might get confused, Argent pointed to each person as he spoke their name. They were aware he was introducing them rather perfunctorily, yet each one bowed respectfully to Frey.
As if none of them dared disobey Argent’s words.
But Frey only bit her lip at the display.
The unconditional attention directed at her only made things harder.
“It’s a pleasure,” she said, suppressing her trembling voice.
Argent quickly led her away again.
“That’s everyone,” he said.
“You’re leaving already?”
“This meeting doesn’t require my presence, does it?”
“That may be true, but still, it’s unfortunate. It seems you barely gave Her Majesty the Empress any time at all.”
“I heard His Majesty treasures Her Majesty greatly, but he doesn’t even show her face to us…”
Only now did the murmurs begin to trickle out, but a single glance from Argent made them falter and lower their heads.
“We look forward to seeing Her Majesty again.”
“If I may, could I send my daughter to be Her Majesty’s companion?”
“I would like to offer my daughter as a lady-in-waiting, Your Majesty.”
Various suggestions were thrown out, but Argent pulled Frey away before anyone could respond.
Their voices faded into the air.
As soon as they stepped outside, Argent let go of her hand.
“Well done.”
“…Is that it?”
“Did you want it to continue?”
“No, not really…”
It had been such a short meeting compared to the time she had spent preparing. It left her feeling oddly empty.
“Then you can return. I have work to do. And don’t concern yourself with what they said.”
“…Alright.”
She had thought that if she wanted to remain here, if she wanted a stable life, she would need to build her own network. But Argent clearly had no such intentions.
With no choice, Frey simply nodded.
“A lady-in-waiting will be here shortly. Go rest in your room. You’ve done well.”
As if he had been waiting for the moment, Argent left her standing in the hallway and walked away.
And in the space he left behind, Ian appeared.
He had been among the people inside just moments ago, but now he was beside her, speaking gently.
“You were always beautiful, but today, you looked truly radiant.”
Frey froze. It was something she had wanted to hear from Argent, not Ian. Somehow, her eyes flicked between the now-distant Argent and Ian beside her. Argent, already too far to see. Ian, always close by.
“…That’s what I wanted to hear, actually.”
“Is that so? Honestly, I’ve felt that way for some time. You’re truly a beautiful person.”
“…Thank you. But, if others hear you say that…”
Frey stepped past him and began walking ahead.
She heard Ian’s footsteps trailing her from five paces behind and slowly turned her head.
“Yes?”
“As I said before, people are going to think we’re married.”
“Have I made you uncomfortable somehow?”
“No. It’s just strange. Why did Argent bring me here? If he was going to leave me like this…”
He had told her only to stay beside him.
That was all Ian had been ordered to do.
To make sure she felt at ease, and if she ever wanted something, to let her have it. That was his lord’s wish, and Ian had resolved to follow it.
But seeing the small, birdlike Frey, he just couldn’t leave her alone.
Even now, despite needing to be in a crucial meeting, he had followed her out of concern.
“I wonder.”
“I thought there must be a reason he brought me here. Maybe to use me to threaten the Kingdom of Ezan. But that doesn’t seem to be it either.”
“Why? Why does he leave me alone? I’m a princess of an enemy nation.”
“…That’s…”
“I’m not even his concubine. So if that’s not the reason… what is?”
Is this all just for show?
She had thought that once she was officially recognized as empress and introduced to people, things would change.
But instead, she felt even further from him. She thought maybe it was because of what had happened that day.
If that were the case—if something I said had upset him—shouldn’t he have just cast me out?
Frey still couldn’t understand him.
“Ian.”
“He’s still a good person to you, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“He’s still the kind of emperor who cherishes the woman who’s to be his empress more than anyone else.”
Ian’s lips trembled slightly instead of answering.
Now she was certain.
He just wants to be seen as a good person. Even hiding his true feelings from Ian, who stays beside me. I don’t know what he hopes to gain from it, but… that must be it.
Somehow, her heart grew firm.
The fluttering feelings she’d once had for Argent faded, replaced by a hollow smile on her face.
“This must be right.”
“Sorry?”
“If it’s what he wants, I can do anything. Let’s go back.”
Because that would be her small repayment to the one who had pulled her out of that hell.
Having made up her mind, Frey turned and returned to her room.
From that day on, as if she had nowhere else to go, Frey only went back and forth between the library and her room.
✦
“Lady Frey.”
Frey turned her head slightly toward Ian, who had spoken to her as she browsed through a stack of books.
“Is something wrong? It’s not tea time. It’s not snack time. And it’s not even that late…”
Her voice came out sharp.
Even she was surprised by her own words. One of the things she had resolved to do for Argent was to distance herself from others in this place.
Seeing how he told her nothing, she had made her own conclusion: Argent, who wanted to be good to everyone, would find it easier to cast her out if she didn’t grow close to anyone.
I hope he can let me go easily.
So, unlike before, she had drawn a clear line with Ian too.
I’m sorry, Ian.
Still, afraid that he might be hurt by her coldness, her voice softened slightly.
“No, I just wondered if you were alright.”
“I see. I’m always fine.”
“You’re not asking what I meant by that.”
“Am I not?”
“I haven’t been at your side that long, but… that’s what I think.”
Frey marked her book with a leaf-shaped bookmark and looked at him.
“What do you think?”
“That you’re telling yourself you’re fine… when you’re really not.”
“That can’t be true.”
“Are you at peace?”
“Of course.”
“Then are you happy?”
Her blue eyes—like the ocean, or drifting skies—trembled faintly.
“Ian.”
“Yes.”
“Is my happiness important? I’m to be the empress. I learned from a young age that those in high positions don’t chase after happiness. That sort of thing is just a childish dream.”
Yes. That was the truth.
Wasn’t happiness just like a dream? Life wasn’t something that let you live chasing only happiness. That’s what Frey believed, and what she had concluded.
But then Ian, who had never once objected to her words before, quietly bowed his head.
“Your happiness matters to me.”
“Ian.”
“You may have found peace… but you don’t look happy. I can feel it—the distance you’ve put between us.”
“Can you?”
“…It feels like someone preparing to leave. That distance… hurts.”
At last, their eyes met.
Frey’s icy blue eyes, void of emotion, and Ian’s sorrowful gaze.
Seeing his face again after so long, Frey’s heart sank.
Why is he looking at me like that? Why?
That was the only question that filled her.
“Lady Frey.”
“…Yes.”
“Please don’t push me away. I want you to be happy. If leaving this place is what it takes, I’ll support you. I’ll go with you. So that you can still live as ‘Frey’ somewhere else.”
“Ian… What are you saying?”
“At first… yes. I stayed by your side because I was ordered to by His Majesty, Emperor Argent. He told me to serve you sincerely, to make you comfortable. That was all I meant to do.”
Ian’s eyes shimmered with emotions he could barely contain. Frey looked away.
But perhaps moved by something, or having resolved himself, Ian sat in the chair across from her.
“Watching you change… I began to think maybe I could help. That’s why I want to say this. If you wish, I’ll help you leave this place. I’ll make sure you can live freely.”
Had Argent ordered him to say this?
Was he testing her?
Frey was about to glare at him, but Ian’s gaze wasn’t that simple.
The way his eyes trembled like a wounded child showed the truth of his feelings.
Even if it was a lie, she found herself wanting to believe him.
She watched him quietly. And her decision didn’t take long.
“Let’s call it a day and head back.”
