Chapter 16
Tinkle, poof. The Magical Boy Appears! (4)
Seeing him brazenly rubbing his cheek against my hand made irritation flare up inside me.
I shook his hand off immediately and jumped down from the bed.
“Send me home.”
“No.”
“I’m going to hate you.”
“If you hate me, then I can’t let you go even more.”
Rudolph, who had followed me down from the bed, approached me.
His earnest gaze and pleading smile made my chest tighten, but I couldn’t let myself waver.
“Do you think you’ll be happy if I stay by your side? You will never receive my love. Never.”
“I told you. Time will bring you to me.”
“Then I’ll die before that time comes.”
When I spat those cruel words at the stubborn Rudolph, his face froze.
But Rudolph continued speaking as if it didn’t faze him.
“Try it.”
“You think I can’t if I want to?”
“No, if it’s you, I know you’d trade your life just to run away from me.”
“Since you know that—”
“I won’t let you die.”
His red eyes shimmered with certainty. It was the certainty that he would never let me die.
In that moment, I remembered exactly who it was that forcibly revived Odelia after she died, making her suffer the worst pain imaginable.
It was Rudolph who had used dark magic to bring the dying Odelia back to life.
Not that I actually intended to die…
But looking into Rudolph’s eyes, filled with unwavering resolve, sent chills all over my body.
He was on a completely different level than Baizen or Ian.
No, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the two of them were oddly innocent.
At the very least, if you explained things to those two, they would understand.
But with Rudolph, it was like talking to a brick wall. No, a wall would’ve been better. At least a wall wouldn’t argue back, but Rudolph would take what he learned, add his twisted knowledge, and create absurd theories.
With things like this, there was only one option left.
If I couldn’t end this quickly, it would become a drawn-out war.
Fine, let’s take this all the way!
***
And so, the real battle with Rudolph began.
A week passed during that time.
For the first two days, I didn’t speak a single word to Rudolph.
On the third day, I did nothing all day. I didn’t eat, didn’t move, just lay in bed, breathing, refusing to come out.
“Odelia, please… Can’t you just be happy here with me?”
Surprisingly, it was quite an effective method.
Rudolph, unable to eat anything for three days, held my limp hand and shed tears.
But even then, he didn’t let me go.
In the end, I had to abandon that method because it made me suffer too much.
They say even a ghost that dies while eating looks good, so I needed to eat well.
Since I was planning for a long war, harming my body would only be poison to me.
At the very least, if I had to die, I’d rather die well-fed.
On the fourth day, as I was filling my empty stomach, I decided to ignore Rudolph.
Of course, I didn’t speak to him, and I ignored everything about him.
But this didn’t have much effect either.
“It’s okay if you ignore me. Just seeing you in front of me makes me happy.”
Sadly, Rudolph was in the same category as Ian.
If you like watching so much, just go to the zoo. Why watch me when there are plenty of animals to watch there, you crazy primate lovers!
And so, after a week passed, I made up my mind.
Should I really just die once?
You might say it’s an extreme thought, but anyone living in “Hell Joseon” would’ve considered lining up their suicide plan in a neat star shape at least once.
Of course, I didn’t actually intend to die. They say even rolling in a pile of dung is better than the afterlife, so I couldn’t die over something like this.
It was just that Rudolph seemed to think my threat of running away even in death was just empty words, so I wanted to scare him a little.
How could I pretend to die without pain, without suffering, and with ease?
Suddenly, a breeze blew against my back. When I turned around, I saw a window filled with the night sky.
It was too big to be called a window, but too small to be considered a terrace.
When I climbed up onto the windowsill, my head felt slightly clearer.
As long as I didn’t look down.
It wasn’t just high—it was so high I couldn’t see the end.
And with the thick fog, I couldn’t even gauge how high it was.
It felt like I would fall for as long as Alice did down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland.
…I hadn’t even tried skydiving yet. If I slipped up… no, at this height, I’d die 100%.
Just then, the door opened, and Rudolph entered.
It seemed to be lunchtime, as he was carrying a deliciously roasted smoked chicken.
For the first time in a long while, I called him.
“Rudolph.”
“…Odelia!”
His voice was slightly cracked but still beautiful.
Was he happy to hear my voice for the first time in almost a week?
His face flushed with color as he tried to set the plate down on the table.
He was probably happy, thinking that his theory about time changing me was right.
But oh dear Rudolph, you are so terribly mistaken. I am far crazier than you think.
I smiled sweetly and waved at him, feeling the cool breeze against my back.
“I hate you for locking me up.”
“What—”
Before he could finish, I let the wind take me and leaned out the window.
My body, unable to fight gravity, fell out the window.
The wind screamed as it wrapped around my body, and I plummeted through the fog in an instant. The chill that spiked through every nerve in my body made me shiver uncontrollably.
The window I fell from vanished from sight instantly.
But the fall didn’t stop. Just how tall was this tower?
As I was thinking that, the fog cleared, and the view of the ground became vividly clear.
Crazy. It looked like it would take at least five minutes just to hit the ground.
It was a terrifying sight that made my blood run cold, but emotionally, it was exhilarating.
Thinking about Rudolph’s face when I jumped cleared the heaviness in my chest.
Serves you right! Who told you to act up without listening?
I just wanted to be a good teacher, but thanks to a rebellious student, it came to this!
Of course, I had no intention of actually dying.
Die? Do you know how hard I’ve worked to live up to this point?
I’ve been clawing to live, in my past life and this one. There was no way I would die like this.
Life’s already a pile of crap, so nothing scared me anymore. If it came to this, I would scrape off every piece of crap from my life and live no matter what.
So, dear Rudolph, hurry up and save me. I’m not going to die. I can’t die.
As I clenched my hands tightly and prayed desperately, the wind that was piercing through me vanished in an instant.
When I opened my eyes, I saw the ceiling I had seen that morning. It was the room in the Magic Tower.
As I got up, I saw Rudolph standing beside the bed, drenched in sweat, staring at me with a furious face.
So what if you’re angry? What, you think I’ll be scared… huh?
Rudolph took large steps toward me and grabbed my shoulders.
Just as he opened his mouth to yell, he closed it again. Taking deep breaths as if swallowing his anger, Rudolph finally lowered his head in defeat.
Then, he pulled me into his arms.
His entire body was trembling violently. From his fingertips to his shoulders and legs, there wasn’t a single part of him that wasn’t shaking.
Seeing him looking so terrified made me feel a slight pang of guilt.
Was he really that scared? Just as I was about to pat his back, I heard Rudolph’s trembling voice.
“…I’m not letting you go.”
As he tightened his grip around me, Rudolph continued.
“No matter how many times you try to die. I will save you. Even if you hate me… time… time—”
I closed my eyes at the way his voice shook, as if denying reality.
I recognized that voice. I had heard a voice that spoke of this kind of sadness before.
It was my voice.
The voice that had pleaded with my mother, who said she hadn’t given birth to me out of love, begging her to love me.
The voice that had tearfully begged her to at least see me and my siblings as her children if I tried harder.
It was a confession of love and sorrow that could never come true.
I knew how pitiful, pathetic, and worthless that voice was.
And I also knew how miserable those emotions felt.
Without realizing it, a hollow laugh escaped me at the emotion that shook me.
This fake suicide attempt had worked surprisingly well. I could shake Rudolph’s heart so easily. Of course, it shook my heart too.
Maybe it was because, for a moment, I saw my past self in the current Rudolph. I almost hugged him.
I wanted to comfort him and tell him I would stay by his side, that I would grant his wish.
That wasn’t why I jumped, though.
I reached out, pushing against Rudolph’s chest, and spoke.
“This isn’t something time can fix.”
“No, no… it’s not…”
Seeing his eyes turn red as tears welled up, I felt like hugging him right then and there.
But I couldn’t, so I clenched my fists tightly.
“Get a grip.”
“…Odel—”
“As long as you don’t let me go, I will keep running from you forever. Until you let your guard down. Until I die. Forever.”
At my emphasis on “forever,” Rudolph’s face turned pale.
I opened my mouth again, threateningly.
“Rudolph, please. Let me go before I start to truly resent you.”
“…Odelia, please…”
Rudolph grabbed my arm, clinging to me.
With tears pooling in his eyes, ready to spill at any moment, a sharp pain stabbed at my chest.
But even in this moment, I had to be cruel to return home, so I closed my eyes and turned my head away.
“Odelia, Odelia…”
Rudolph buried his head on my shoulder as if making one last plea.
I felt the warmth of liquid soaking into my shoulder, but I pretended not to notice and kept my mouth shut.
“…I love you.”
His tear-soaked voice whispered desperately.
It was a pure feeling.
The desire to be with someone because you love them was so pure that I almost wanted to embrace it and comfort it.
But the actions he took to pursue that feeling were unforgivable.
“That kind of love… I can’t accept it.”
“…What kind of love?”
Rudolph, with tear-stained eyes, lifted his head and asked.
“My love… is it wrong?”
“Locking me up, making me lonely, making me sad, and then making me want you in the end. That isn’t love, Rudolph.”
“Then what is this feeling of wanting you like this?”
“It’s obsession.”
Rudolph’s eyes widened in shock. At that moment, a tear that had been clinging to his eye rolled down his cheek.
Whether he understood that emotion or not, the strength drained from Rudolph’s hands that were holding my shoulders.
His delicate, pale hands fell to the floor, and at the same time, tears poured down his white cheeks like rain.
“That—”
“Then I… I’m wrong?”
The collapsing Rudolph leaned against me and asked.
Watching him crumble like that made my heart tighten painfully.
Rudolph was a pitiful person.
He had become an orphan the moment he was born and had barely managed to enter the Magic Tower with his meager talent, only to become an experimental subject for the mages.
After enduring for so long, Rudolph had grown into a monster who used magic, stripped of all emotions.
Perhaps that’s why, even as an adult, he was as pure as a child and as cruel as a monster.
“Rudol—”
Just as I opened my mouth to say something, Rudolph’s pale hand covered my lips.
