Chapter 4
The Love-Starved Monster, The Spring That Knows Love
(Part 4)
A sensation, like waking in the morning, as consciousness slowly returns.
The sound of a crackling fire burning could be heard in the distance.
Occasionally, the sound of someone walking and the clattering sound of someone working on something. And also, a somehow pleasant smell.
It’s a scent I’m not very accustomed to, but surely this is… a rich, mellow aroma like demi-glace sauce…
…Wait, I’m supposed to be dead, aren’t I?
Slowly opening my eyes, I saw someone’s back.
He was sitting in front of the campfire, his hands moving in circles as if stirring something.
…Who is he again?
Umm… I’m sure I saved him yesterday…
“Ha!? Wha-!!”
I hurriedly sat up with a start and banged my head on the rock above. Thump! A loud sound echoed as I clutched my head in pain. It wasn’t bleeding, but I felt a lump forming… How uncool… Oh right, this is inside a narrow cave.
But how, from that state… am I alive?
Apart from the head I just hit, there’s no pain anywhere.
Looking at my chest, the wound I was slashed yesterday was gone. Even the other minor cuts had vanished, making me increasingly confused.
Noticing me due to the sound of me hitting my head, the man slowly approached.
He crouched in front of me and touched the part of my head that had hit the rock with his right hand. I gritted my teeth, expecting a dull pain, but there was none. Instead, the palm of his right hand glowed faintly. The light was slightly warm, and I, not understanding what was happening, was simply bewildered.
“Good morning. Are you hurt anywhere?”
“Huh? Wha?”
I touched the part that had hit the rock with my own hand, but there was no pain at all.
There didn’t seem to be any lump either; it was as if it had returned to the state before I hit it.
“This… could it be healing magic?”
“That’s right. I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything yesterday. I was a little confused myself.”
“No, you saved me… you really saved me.”
But I was surprised. I never thought he could use healing magic.
I think the textbooks said it’s a fairly advanced magic that only some humans… talented mages can use. And to completely heal such a large chest wound… that’s truly amazing.
“This is magic that only amazing mages can use, right? It’s my first time seeing it, but it’s gentle and warm… what a wonderful magic!! Ah, you really are an incredible person!!”
I grabbed both his hands and excitedly blurted out what I was thinking. After saying it, I suddenly felt embarrassed by my own words and averted my gaze. But since it was my true feeling, I didn’t take it back.
His expression didn’t change much, but he seemed surprised, his mouth hanging slightly open.
Ahh… what should I say at a time like this?
I haven’t talked much with humans, so I wonder if this is the right way to praise someone.
“You keep surprising me since we met. It’s the first time I’ve been praised.”
“Eh… You’re kidding? Magic that can even save a dying demon… To me, it’s like the work of a god.”
“I’m at a loss… Ah, no, I’m happy. I just don’t know how to respond.”
Saying that, he smiled awkwardly.
His reaction was like my own earlier self, worrying about how to communicate, and somehow the tension eased.
I found myself laughing along with an ‘Ahaha,’ when I smelled something burning from the depths of the cave.
“Hmm? Did it burn a little on the bottom because I wasn’t stirring it? Ah, that’s right, I was warming up stew. Let’s have breakfast.”
“Eh? Breakfast?”
Looking towards the campfire, I saw something hanging over the fire.
A Y-shaped tree branch was stuck in the ground, and a small pot hung from it with wire was emitting white steam. Peeking inside, it was full of beef stew. It was boiling, bubbling softly.
At the edge of the campfire were two familiar canned packages, presumably the ones the stew came from.
The moment I saw them, my stomach growled and I gulped.
I’ve seen the guards eating canned beef stew before, but I’ve never eaten it myself.
The guards ate various preserved foods, but the beef stew always had the most delicious smell, and I secretly wanted to try it someday.
He inserted a tree branch into the pot’s handle and lifted it, placing it on the ground. Using the small ladle he had been stirring with, he returned half of the stew to each can.
Then, without any hesitation, he handed one to me.
“Th… thank you…”
“You’re welcome.”
I was dumbfounded, staring at the can of stew I had received.
The guards never once gave us humans the delicious-looking emergency rations they ate. The soup we were given was always made of spoiled vegetables, cold and bland.
The warmth of the stew seeped through the can into both my hands. Really, is it okay for me to eat this?
That alone was surprising enough, but he then broke a round loaf of bread in half and gave it to me. I could tell by its appearance; it was fluffy white bread, different from what I had eaten before.
“It’s delicious if you dip it in the stew. For the last bite, I’d like you to wipe the inside of the can clean with the bread. I want to keep things as clean as possible.”
“Ah, ah, understood.”
“Then, let’s eat.”
I clumsily put my hands together in prayer.
I had heard that humans take this prayer pose before meals. Then, as instructed, I tore the bread into bite-sized pieces, dipped them in the stew, and cautiously put them in my mouth.
It’s delicious…!!
It’s a flavor I’ve never experienced before, so I don’t know how to describe it, but it was the most delicious food I’ve ever eaten.
The rich, thick sauce had a presence incomparable to the thin soup, filling my empty stomach.
Even so, I couldn’t stop eating. I ate the bread single-mindedly, brought the can to my lips to drink the stew, and chewed the chunks of meat and vegetables that flowed into my mouth, savoring them.
I didn’t want to cry, but tears started falling again. I’ve been crying so much lately, it’s really uncool…
There should have been a fair amount, but I finished it in no time.
I used the last piece of bread to wipe the stew clean and put it in my mouth.
Looking beside me, the man was staring at me intently, his expression unchanged, as if observing me. It seemed he hadn’t taken a single bite yet.
“Um, do you want to eat my portion too?”
“…!! No, I don’t! Please eat it quickly!”
That was close; for a moment, I almost said I wanted it.
Just receiving half of such a delicious thing is already like a miracle, so I can’t possibly take his portion too. I turned away and told him to eat it quickly, and perhaps having given up, I heard the sound of him slurping stew next to me.
I was groaning for a while, trying not to think about the stew, when,
“I’m finished eating,”
he called out, so I turned back.
He had put clean snowmelt water into the pot, warmed it, dissolved the grime, and then drank that water in one gulp. I see, so that’s how you avoid dirtying the surroundings. That’s instructive.
I was staring intently, using his cleaning method as a reference, but I didn’t know what to talk about, so the conversation didn’t flow.
Remembering that I still didn’t know his name, I decided it was a good opportunity to ask.
“Ah, that’s right. Since I thought I was going to die, we didn’t get to introduce ourselves, did we? My name is Ruki. What’s your name?”
“……”
“Umm…”
“Call me whatever you like. It’s as if I no longer exist.”
Huh, this is really awkward, what should I do…?
Maybe it was something I shouldn’t have asked?
“Ah, that’s right, I’ll give you this.”
After finishing the water, he pulled a mountaineering backpack in front of me from somewhere.
…Huh, he had something like that? I guess I didn’t notice yesterday because we were so desperate. He unzipped the backpack and took out various items, lining them up at his feet.
They look somewhat familiar… He took out corn soup, clam chowder, risotto, hardtack, drinking water, and various other canned emergency foods.
“I don’t need them. I’ll give you everything, including the backpack. Besides food, there’s a tent, sleeping bag, a lantern that lights with magic power, and other things inside. It should last you a few days.”
“Eh, what about you?”
“Nothing in particular. I have nowhere to return to anyway. But you want to live, right? The one who wants to live should continue living. I have no interest in anything about the world ahead or about myself.”
What is he saying? Between his reaction when I asked his name and now, he seems a little strange.
Perhaps, like me, he was brought here for some reason.
He was lying collapsed in a blizzard, in clothes unsuited for mountain climbing, all alone. It’s strange that the backpack’s contents are so proper, but what if he was properly equipped and then abandoned by his companions?
No, maybe that’s thinking too much.
But from his demeanor, I really don’t sense any will to return to some town.
If left alone, he seems so unmoving that he might just stay here forever, doing nothing.
“I can’t just let that be! You’re my lifesaver! I can’t leave you like this!”
“To me, you are also my lifesaver. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Ugh… Then, as thanks for the delicious meal! I want to repay you somehow!”
“Is that so, hmm…”
He put his hand on his chin and groaned, thinking.
But I really said something about wanting to repay him… Don’t I have nothing right now?
I can’t prepare money or meals, I don’t know the way back. The only thing I can do is start a fire, but if he’s a mage who can use healing magic, he can probably light firewood too.
“Then, I want you to give me a name.”
“A name? Is that really enough?”
“Yes. I want you to name me after something you desire, something you find beautiful.”
Is it really okay for me, who just met him yesterday, to decide something as important as a name?
Does he dislike his current name that much?
Suddenly, I remembered Number 13’s behavior yesterday.
Even though I didn’t know his real name, I called him by his assigned number. And then he flew into a rage…
My senses are numb, and being called 07 doesn’t make me feel anything anymore, but I suppose for some people, it’s something important. If I’m to give him a new name, it should be one he wouldn’t be ashamed to be called outside.
I thought about it, considering his earlier request.
What I desire… warm things, comfortable things.
Beautiful things… the scenery outside the inorganic, cold prison, the views I catch glimpses of during transfers.
“I’ve decided. How about the name Haru?”
I’m not particularly knowledgeable myself. I know this association is rather simplistic. I hope he likes it…
While I waited nervously for his reaction, he whispered the name I had chosen softly, over and over, as if savoring it.
“So for you, what’s beautiful and what you desire is spring, huh. Hmm, Haru. I think it’s a wonderful name. I’ll gratefully accept this name.”
“Really! That’s good.”
“Then, I’ll be on my way. I think I’d be a bother, so I’ll take my leave from you.”
Saying that, he… Haru stood up and tried to leave the cave.
Moreover, even though it’s his stuff, he was about to leave empty-handed, leaving behind the backpack full of food.
I hurriedly stood up and took Haru’s hand.
“Wait, where are you going, leaving your belongings behind? Ah, are you going to wait for the humans to come on top of the cliff?”
“No, I have no intention of getting involved with those humans either. I’ll just take a walk randomly while thinking about what to do next.”
“Ha!? Wait!!”
I raised my voice to stop Haru, who was trying to shake off my hand and head outside.
Haru’s actions just don’t make sense to me… or rather, they’re strange.
Wandering around this snowy mountain without food? If this continues, it wouldn’t be strange if he really died. He collapsed exhausted in the middle of a snowy mountain path yesterday, and his actions seem like he’s trying to die.
I don’t understand Haru’s thoughts or the reasoning behind trying to do this.
I just get the feeling that he’s truly indifferent to everything, just as his words suggest. About the future, about living itself…
But even so, what can I say?
Should I preach that going to town should be fun, that good things happen if you live? But considering my own life so far, can I easily voice such faint hopes…?
Honestly, even I don’t know what will happen from now on.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t envision a peaceful life in a town with humans. But on the other hand, I don’t know the method or the location to return to the house where I was originally born.
The more I think about it, the more anxious I become… There’s no guarantee that events that make me think it would be better to just die here won’t happen.
Haru might have had a hard time, just like me until yesterday.
But throwing away the life he just saved like that is such a waste, isn’t it?
I lived in that facility with a future that was completely dark.
If you ask how I managed that, it was because of expectation… yes, because I had something I wanted. That suspiciously sweet promise: ‘We will accept you as family and treat you with love.’
But it’s also true that because of those words, I managed to endure until now.
Somehow, I thought that perhaps Haru doesn’t have that, which is why he’s indifferent to everything.
If you have a goal, you can act towards it.
If you have something you don’t want to let go of, you can carry it and live.
I may be a puny demon, but I can give to someone else what I’ve always, always wanted.
I don’t know if it’s what Haru desires, but it’s the only thing I can do right now.
“Haru!! I’ll love you, so please come with me!!”
I said it loudly, looking straight into his eyes, confidently.
Hoping my feelings would get through.
Haru, who had been almost expressionless until now, seemed surprised, his eyes wide open at my words.
He didn’t seem troubled or displeased, but there was no reply. Why isn’t he saying anything? My body froze with a strange tension.
Then I suddenly realized I had said something outrageous.
“Ah…!! I-I mean as a friend!!”
“Pfft, ahaha.”
When I flusteredly corrected my previous words, Haru burst out laughing as if he couldn’t hold it back.
My face was hot with shame… Why did I say it like that? But, this is the first time I’ve seen him laugh so much. It seems I didn’t upset him, so that’s a relief.
“I see. So you’ll love me, and be my friend?”
Haru turned his heel, which had been heading outside, back towards me.
Then, bending slightly as if peering at my face, he continued.
“You’ll be friends with me? What will you do for me?”
His tone sounded somewhat like he was testing me.
Honestly, this reaction was unexpected, but I felt that interest now dwelled on his face, which had been indifferent until now. If that’s the case, then I can’t back down either.
“Well then, let’s descend the mountain together. It might take a few days… or maybe even longer, but I think I have decent stamina, so I’ll lead the way. I’ve never walked it, but I’ve been watching this mountain for nearly 10 years, so I think I know the paths… somewhat.”
“Uh-huh, and then?”
“For that, the food we have now isn’t enough, so we’ll probably have to hunt and such… This place is quite far from town, so I’ve seen wild animals before. A bear might be impossible, but I could probably hunt something like a deer. Don’t worry, leave it to me. You can also rely on me for anything else you think I can do.”
“That’s very reassuring.”
“Ahh… but I don’t have much knowledge about cooking, I guess… Can I butcher an animal…?”
“Then I’ll handle the cooking. If you get hurt, I’ll heal you with magic. Since we’re friends, we have to divide the roles.”
And so we talked about the future.
Going to a town where we might be able to settle down, dividing roles until we get there, plans, necessary tools, etc. The conversation flowed.
We exchanged opinions, suggesting how we could cooperate, complementing each other’s shortcomings. It probably wouldn’t have gone so smoothly if we were alone. The more I listened, the more skilled he seemed, and it was decided that he would nicely support me in things I couldn’t do.
I have to work hard at what I can do too. I became convinced that this cooperative relationship I proposed would also move in a good direction for me.
“Then, I’ll go look for prey today.”
“Then, I’ll look for firewood and trees that could serve as substitutes for skis. If I’m lucky and find any fruit, I’ll gather it.”
Our plans for the day decided, we broke down the snow barrier at the cave entrance and went outside.
Outside, in contrast to yesterday, was good weather with warm sunlight streaming down.
It was still winter and chilly, but there was no strong wind, and the snow had melted a bit under the sunlight, making it easier to walk.
Haru and I decided to split up temporarily to fulfill our respective roles.
Before our discussion, I had been unbearably anxious, but now I could watch his back as he walked away in a different direction, trusting him. Before his figure disappeared from sight, he turned back towards me once and raised his voice.
“I’m counting on you.”
“Ah, leave it to me!”
I raised my arm so Haru could see it and made a thumbs-up sign.
I saw his face break into a smile.
My heart raced with excitement for what felt like the promising start of a new life.
