Chapter 10 – Single-Minded Devotion Is Another Word for Obsession (1)
Edelene Bertrand was a fiancée chosen by their families.
The Bertrand family was one of the most prestigious houses in the Greenwinzer Empire, so the engagement had been the talk of society from the start.
Either family alone would have been headline-worthy. Their union naturally drew attention.
The imperial family openly welcomed the match.
The Bertrands ruled over fertile lands rich in minerals and resources. They were also highly successful merchants.
The imperial family had long been wary that such enormous wealth might one day turn against them.
Before this engagement, there had even been attempts to arrange a marriage between the Bertrands and the imperial family. But the Bertrand couple refused with various excuses. Instead, they proposed an engagement with House Blancard.
The Duke of Blancard was the current emperor’s brother-in-law. In the end, it still tied the Bertrands to the imperial family.
Shane understood all of this when he was about ten, when the engagement was decided.
Because of that, it didn’t really matter what kind of person his fiancée was.
He had no expectations, even during their monthly tea meetings.
“So you’re my fiancé?”
“……Yes. I’m Shane.”
“You’re pretty.”
Edelene was a strange child.
‘She’s four years younger than me.’
When serious topics came up, she would sometimes offer surprisingly mature insights. Then she would suddenly pretend not to understand, as if remembering she was supposed to be a child.
He also knew she sometimes pretended to look elsewhere while secretly staring at his face.
It was rather rude.
But that was all.
Shane was not someone who felt strong interest in anything.
He had been born able to obtain anything he wanted. He possessed exceptional talent.
Nothing was difficult for him.
Being with someone felt no different from being alone.
He had never needed anyone’s help to begin with.
‘Boring.’
A world that stirred no emotion was dull and colorless.
Edelene became special about a year after their engagement.
Shane’s mother, who had been frail since giving birth to him, finally passed away.
The duchess, born a princess and married into a noble house, had never truly grown attached to the son she bore.
‘Those blue eyes when he looks at me… they’re like a reptile’s. It’s disgusting.’
‘Shane is still a child!’
‘He doesn’t feel like one! Do you think that child is normal?’
‘……’
‘Please don’t bring him to me. He gives me chills.’
Even so, Shane thought it was harsh for a mother to say such things about her own child.
But it wasn’t surprising.
Adults often seemed uneasy around a child who behaved older than his years.
If someone asked whether he loved his mother, he wouldn’t know how to answer.
So he couldn’t blame her for not loving him.
She had always stood a few steps away, looking down at him.
He barely knew what kind of person she was.
He remembered she gave birth to him.
That was all.
So when she died, he didn’t feel particularly sad.
He kept a subdued expression because it was appropriate and avoided trouble.
Edelene attended the funeral with her parents.
She remained quiet through the formal greetings.
Then, when she and Shane were alone, she burst into tears.
And suddenly hugged him tightly.
“You’re still so young… poor thing…”
“Huh?”
“You don’t have to act like an adult at a time like this. You can cry.”
He wasn’t crying because there were no tears to shed.
Yet Edelene sobbed as if her own parents had died.
Shane gently pulled her back.
“Edelene, calm down.”
“Huh?”
“I’m fine. Really.”
He gave her a faint smile.
“See? I’m smiling.”
Since she often stared at his face, he thought smiling might comfort her.
But she cried even harder.
“Why are you comforting me?!”
“Huh?”
“You foolish genius, you grew up too fast! Waaah…”
“I didn’t…”
“Why won’t anyone hug you? Come here, you idiot. You’re just a child…”
“You’re younger than me…”
She hugged him again.
He had to bend slightly because she was so small.
For some reason, he felt like laughing.
He knew she treated him like a child.
But this was the first time anyone had done it so openly.
‘She’s so small.’
His shoulder was already damp with her tears.
He patted her back, wondering absurdly if she would dehydrate at this rate.
‘How can she cry so hard?’
He, the one who lost his mother, wasn’t even sad.
Edelene grabbed his hand tightly.
“I’m fine. We weren’t very close anyway…”
“……”
“So maybe that’s why I’m not crying. I’m not even sad.”
“That’s not it, Shane…”
She sniffled.
“You just don’t know how to express your emotions. You’re too smart and too mature.”
She held his cheeks in her small hands and pressed her forehead against his.
As if engraving the words into him, she said,
“Don’t be alone, Shane.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t think being alone is normal. I’ll stay with you. If you’re lonely, say you’re lonely. If you’re sad, say you’re sad. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed…”
Her palms were warm.
So this was body heat.
So this was what it felt like to be held.
Her tear-filled green eyes looked dazzling up close.
Shane blinked slowly.
‘She’s pretty.’
It was as if color suddenly flooded into a black-and-white world.
The same scene looked completely different.
When he kept staring, she began crying again.
He let his young fiancée comfort him.
He still wasn’t sad about his mother.
But the hand stroking his head made his heart tremble.
And he liked it.
***
It was strange how someone could suddenly look beautiful.
Objectively, Edelene had always been pretty.
But until then, that fact hadn’t meant anything.
‘She hasn’t changed.’
It felt like a lie that he once thought she was nothing special.
Once he began to find her beautiful, everything about her caught his eye.
And once it caught his eye, it became beautiful.
Her tiny hands were cute.
Her neatly shaped fingernails were pretty.
Her small moving lips were pretty.
Even the cookie crumbs on her chin were adorable.
‘Am I crazy?’
Did even that need to look lovely?
If anyone else had crumbs on their face, they would just look messy.
But Edelene was different.
Only Edelene.
‘I’m glad Edelene is my fiancée.’
He even felt grateful to his family and the emperor for arranging it.
He began visiting her often.
They watched flowers in spring.
Spent summers at a villa.
Attended harvest festivals in autumn.
Walked in snow during winter.
Edelene often acted annoyed when he invited her, but if he smiled nicely, she usually gave in.
Sometimes it seemed like she just enjoyed looking at his face while eating cookies.
That was fine.
He was amazed by how much he liked her.
His feelings grew like a living thing.
Only toward her.
This bright, beautiful girl was his.
She liked people easily.
She hid many things.
She was emotional, yet honest.
Just seeing her clear green eyes filled with affection and her soft smile was enough to make him happy.
Wanting someone to like him back was new.
Being inexplicably happy without reason was unfamiliar.
But it wasn’t unpleasant.
‘Is this what they call first love?’
He could hardly believe it.
But if this wasn’t love, what else could it be?
Then one day—
“Let’s break off the engagement.”
“What?”
“Let’s break it off, Shane. Yes. That would be best.”
Edelene, pale and shaken, declared it.
She looked at him as if she had seen something horrible.
Like other people sometimes did.
From that day on, she changed completely.
***
After that, Edelene avoided him thoroughly.
Shane clung to her persistently.
“If I did something wrong, please tell me.”
“You didn’t.”
She told him nothing.
At some point, she began acting like someone who would soon leave.
She kept her distance from her family too.
She insisted on being alone.
Even though she once told him not to be alone.
Even though she said she would stay with him.
“Shane, you have to be honest about your feelings. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“If someone you love appears in front of you, you have to grab them without worrying about anything.”
I have no intention of letting you go. Don’t worry.
She even encouraged him to fall for someone else.
But his heart didn’t change.
‘Breaking off the engagement? Not a chance.’
She was the only one who moved his emotions.
Everything else was meaningless.
Even if she hated him, he would never let her go.
“If I can’t see…”
As long as she didn’t die, never.
“If you leave like this, I’ll never forgive you.”
“Shane…”
My only color.
My emotion.
Everything I loved.
“You can forget me. No, you have to. If you care about me, be happy…”
I can’t forget you.
How could I?
“Goodbye.”
When her thin white arm fell limply, his world shattered too.
Did you know—
The despair, the twisted joy, and the unbearable betrayal he felt when he learned that all of it had been a filthy lie?
