Chapter 002
* * *
When I opened my eyes again, what I saw was a familiar ceiling.
There were no ashes fluttering before me, nor any murderous mana.
‘Is this… heaven?’
Judging by the ornate patterns, it certainly seemed like heaven, but…
‘Do people in heaven like these patterns too? It looks exactly like Duke Agnito’s taste—’
Wait. Agnito?
I sat up abruptly. Old items stacked in layers in a corner, a worn-out desk, and a cracked window crudely repaired with adhesive.
‘This is… my room? What on earth happened…’
In that instant, my head began to throb with a dull ache.
As the pain slowly subsided, various scenes I had never consciously seen before flickered through my mind.
They were all different faces, yet the journeys of their lives were similar.
An orphan without a family. A child craving love.
But in the end, they all died from accidents or severe illnesses without ever receiving the affection they desired.
The most recent memory among those many lives was from ‘South Korea,’ but even that had ended with being hit by a truck.
And then, the memories of Hanisha—the current ‘me’—followed.
Only then did I realize.
The things I had just seen were memories of the past lives I had passed through.
‘How in the world did this happen…’
I was blinking blankly in the flood of pouring memories when something caught my eye.
In a mirror placed to one side, I saw a tiny child.
A frame so small it was hard to guess her age, with somewhat gaunt cheeks.
Small, stubby hands.
Untidy platinum-blonde hair, and a bandage wrapped tightly around it.
Hanisha. That is… me.
The girl who wanted to be recognized by her family, but ultimately died alone and lonely.
—
—
“Gloomy thing.”
“It’s like a wicked creature that sucked up all the family’s luck.”
The current ‘me’ was not much different from the ‘me’ I saw in the memories of South Korea.
I was momentarily speechless.
Because it was the first time I had looked at ‘myself’ objectively, through the eyes of a third party.
‘So… I was in this state.’
So dark, so pitiful…
While I let myself become like this, what on earth was I clinging to?
What I… what I wanted was…
“I wanted to become an Agnito.”
A murmur escaped my lips unconsciously.
At that moment, my mind gradually sharpened.
Until now, I had lived for the recognition of others. I didn’t care what happened to myself.
But all that returned to me was betrayal.
If so…
‘Can’t I live for myself just this once?’
Returning to the past meant knowing the future.
‘In other words, it means I can change the future.’
Confusion slowly began to turn into determination. Having regained my composure, I faced the situation step by step.
My maternal uncle, Duke Agnito, did not acknowledge me, an illegitimate child. I was the shame of the family.
Yet, he went so far as to belatedly recognize me as a Lady just to marry me off to the rebel leader. That was how closely the Agnito family was linked to the Imperial family. However, the rebels would not leave me, an Agnito, in peace.
‘I can’t stop the rebels from invading, but…’
I can at least avoid the moment I encounter them.
‘To do that, I first have to escape from Agnito…’
It was then.
The door suddenly swung open, and someone stepped inside.
“Oh my goodness, Lady Hanisha!”
I heard a familiar voice.
Orange hair. Hazel eyes. A maid’s uniform that looked a bit old.
‘Ah.’
Years had passed, but the memory was still vivid.
The person who was the only one to treat me well while everyone else in this household ignored me.
My only friend and the maid in charge of me, Lisa.
As the eldest of her family, Lisa had come all the way to this distant estate to work as a maid to earn living expenses for her family.
She said that every time she looked at me, she was reminded of her youngest sibling and wanted to treat me better.
But Lisa shouldn’t have done that.
“P-please, do not treat the Young Lady so harshly…!”
Lisa had stood in front of me when she saw my cousin, Bert, bullying me, and as a result, she was confined in a solitary cell.
“Do not give her a single drop of water or a single crust of bread.”
The season back then was a cold winter, and Lisa died, unable to overcome the cold and hunger.
Back then, I was too young to only vaguely understand what the emotion of loss was.
It was only after I saw the cold body of Lisa, after I reached out with trembling hands and held her in my arms, that I realized.
This is what it feels like to lose someone precious.
It’s this sad, enough to make my heart ache, enough to make me unable to breathe…
That Lisa is alive.
She is alive and standing before my eyes.
With the same face as back then.
My vision seemed to blur for a moment before becoming clear again. Lisa was already approaching me with wide eyes.
“Are you alright, My Lady? Does it still hurt a lot?”
She then gently wiped my eyes. It seemed I had shed tears without realizing it.
“You didn’t even make a sound while you were unconscious, so I thought you were okay…”
Lisa fidgeted, examining my head wrapped in bandages.
How long has it been since I felt this touch?
I felt like I would burst into tears again, but since I didn’t want to worry her, I gave a quick sniff.
“I had a nightmare. I guess I was just a bit startled.”
“I see. I should have stayed by your side, I’m so sorry.”
“No. You’re busy, Lisa. …But what is that?”
“Ah, I brought this just in case. It’ll feel better if you hold it against your head.”
She placed what she had brought against the back of my head. It was a cold, hard ice magic tool commonly used in kitchens.
“…Thank you, Lisa.”
“Don’t mention it. I just picked up one that was rolling around.”
Lisa laughed brightly, but I knew. I knew how hard she must have worked to get this magic tool, which was common in the Duke’s mansion but rare for someone like her.
Lisa was my maid, and being ‘Hanisha’s maid’ meant being at the very bottom of the hierarchy in the Duke’s castle.
Bang!
It was then. The bedroom door burst open without a knock.
“What, you were awake?”
And a voice that was not at all welcome reached my ears.
Eyes tilted upward sharply. Deep blonde hair, unlike mine.
It was Bert, the son of Duke Agnito and my cousin.
“Was the blow too weak? That’s a shame.”
Bert strode inside even though permission hadn’t been given. Lisa hid me behind her back.
“M-Master Bert. What brings you here…”
“I came to visit the sick.”
“Pardon?”
“I said I came to visit the sick.”
Bert grinned. An ominous feeling washed over me.
“Here, a gift.”
Thud. What dropped to the floor was bread with its edges burnt black.
“You probably couldn’t even eat properly because you were knocked out. I specifically brought this. Isn’t this a great get-well gift?”
Bert shrugged. Lisa bit her lip, not knowing what to do.
This was exactly my position.
Someone who had to stay silent even in the face of low-grade insults.
The daughter of the impure Saint.
‘It’ll subside a bit once Esther, Bert’s twin sister, manifests her divine power.’
But that was still in the distant future. Right now, Agnito was a family with no Saint, and Bert was incredibly displeased by that.
“Listen well. For a child who smeared dirt on Agnito’s reputation, this is more than you deserve. You know that, right?”
At Bert’s words, Lisa reached her arm back and wrapped it around me protectively. Instead of refuting the young master’s words, she provided the maximum protection she could.
Even in front of that, Bert stood tall and arrogant.
Just like when he bullied me, and when I knelt in front of the solitary cell begging him to release Lisa.
“You should have listened to me.”
He was always confident in the face of all my despair.
“…”
I quietly caught my breath. Unknowingly, I clenched my fists.
“Why aren’t you eating? I told you to eat.”
“…”
“Ah, did you hit your head and your hands got slow? Should I feed you?”
Thinking I was scared, Bert picked up the fallen bread and strode toward me.
“Here, eat.”
He then held out the bread.
“Today happens to be a special day. I snuck this out for you without the adults knowing.”
The bread, which looked hard and was heavily burnt on one side—the very bread that had just fallen on the ground.
“A-Ah, My Lady…”
It was just as Lisa was hovering, unsure of what to do.
I, who had been staring intently at the offered bread, opened my mouth.
“…Hey, Bert. Do you know what karma is?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“It means it comes back to you. They used to say that a lot in the place I used to be.”
It was something my grandmother, who believed in shamanism in my life before the last, used to say often.
She said that since she took me in and raised me as an orphan, the heavens would grant her a reward for it.
‘And yet, whenever I did anything, she told me it would come back as karma and stopped me from doing anything.’
Why did those words come to mind now?
I didn’t know, but the action I had to take was clear.
“…Did you eat something wrong? What about it? And didn’t I tell you to raise your voice? I still can’t hear you!”
The impatient Bert said to Lisa, who was blocking him, “Hey, you, step aside,” and then approached me.
It was when he was right in front of my nose. I slowly took the hard bread Bert was holding. Just as a triumphant smile spread across Bert’s face.
“Right, you should have listened from the start.”
The moment the words I had heard to the point of boredom were repeated.
I straightened my crouched body just as I was.
To be precise… my upper body!
Thwack!
As if I had been waiting for it, the crown of my head struck Bert’s chin.
“Gah!”
With a loud groan, Bert tumbled to the floor.
Since the crown of my head was stinging, Bert must be in considerable pain as well.
“Y-You lowly thing, how dare you…!”
Right, I wondered when those words would come out.
Even after taking a hit, he was still flapping his mouth, so I felt no more stings of conscience.
I walked right up to Bert. I could see his face blurring with panic.
“Why are you coming closer… What’s with that bread?”
Thanks to Bert, I realized one thing.
Hard bread hurts.
Incredibly so.
Whack!
I swung the bread I was holding directly at Bert.
“Ack!”
Hard, without stopping.
“Aaaaaagh!”
Bert began to scream loud enough to shake the Duke’s mansion.
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