Chapter : 41
If Calix were to die because Rajif was absent, then my father and brother could have survived too.
Then I wouldn’t have to worry about them at all.
But based on my experiences so far, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
In the equestrian spear competition, Leon had broken his leg; a war had broken out; and Calix, who once claimed he didn’t love me, eventually came to love me.
My father’s betrayal had unfolded just as it was, uncontrollable, and the emperor had been poisoned, teetering between life and death.
If things continued as they were, the emperor, too, would eventually die today or tomorrow, just as I had written.
The process might differ, but the decisive events remained the same.
I was only a supporting character. Whether I lived or died might not have been important enough to influence the flow of the story.
But Calix—he was the main male lead.
The main male lead of a novel never changes.
That meant Calix would survive and win the war even without Rajif.
That was probably very likely.
But Rajif was here.
Because of me, he was here.
Here to protect me.
And here I was, wasting time so pointlessly.
Well, I guess since he’s here, Rajif won’t get hurt, right?
Then who would end up getting hurt?
Calix would get injured but not die, right?
It was certain that he would still win the war.
But how the process would differ… I had no way of knowing.
My mind was in utter chaos.
“Miss Kaelin Brockburk, worrying about me is not your responsibility. I simply obey His Highness’s orders. So do not interfere, and perhaps take a walk instead.”
Rajif’s tone seemed strangely tense.
His expression and words revealed his feelings toward me—or perhaps toward something I had said.
Contrary to what he said, I could sense his dissatisfaction at being stuck here, unable to go to the battlefield.
I closed my mouth.
I had completely lost any desire to take a walk and headed back home.
One thought kept repeating in my mind.
Rajif is here.
Rajif should be on the battlefield, but he’s here.
He’s here!
Even as I lay down to sleep, I couldn’t get him out of my mind and couldn’t fall asleep.
What would happen if Rajif weren’t on the battlefield?
I worried about it until I finally fell asleep without knowing when.
The moment I woke up in the morning, that question immediately resurfaced.
After resting a little and clearing my head, one thing became clear.
The main male lead is Calix—that was the fundamental premise of my novel.
Even the main female lead, Estelle, didn’t appear in the beginning and only came in the middle of the story. But Calix was at the center from the beginning to the end, both in the synopsis and in the actual story.
This story revolved around him.
So that meant Calix couldn’t die.
Yes, for both my sake and Calix’s, I had to send Rajif!
No matter how the main male lead wins, it was advantageous to help him along in some way.
Once my thoughts were organized, what I needed to do became clear.
Send Rajif to the battlefield and contribute to saving my main male lead.
It wasn’t certain how much this would positively affect the lives of my family and me, but at least it wouldn’t have a negative impact.
Once I resolved my thoughts, I felt urgency.
I had to send Rajif before it was too late.
According to the timeline, in a few days, there would be a scene where Rajif saves Calix.
I had to send him to the battlefield before that.
I quickly prepared and left the house early in the morning under the pretext of taking a walk.
Once I left, Rajif would surely appear somewhere in front of me.
As expected, not long after entering the walking path, I saw him a little distance away, matching his pace to mine.
I stopped and looked at him.
“Sir Rajif!”
He approached quickly.
“Why are you calling, Miss?”
“I came to see you because I have something important to tell you.”
“Speak, then.”
His tone was neither particularly kind nor rude.
The slight displeasure he had shown during our last conversation seemed to have disappeared, suggesting he had managed his emotions in the meantime.
“I am doing well here in Everlen, and I will continue to do so. So, don’t waste your time and energy standing by me under the pretense of guarding me—go to Aolium.”
Go and fulfill your role so Calix doesn’t die!
“I only take orders from His Highness the Crown Prince.”
Ah… this rigid knight.
Just by his tone and expression, I could tell he would not be easy to deal with.
I had to outsmart him to make him move.
“Sir Rajif, didn’t you say you were assigned to guard me? That’s because I accepted the Crown Prince’s proposal.”
“That is correct.”
“Then this is my order. I am fine, so go and assist His Highness the Crown Prince.”
Rajif’s brows furrowed slightly, then relaxed.
He seemed to restrain himself, but his displeasure was obvious.
“Miss Kaelin Brockburk, I guard you because I was ordered to. I only take orders from His Highness the Crown Prince, not from you. You are not yet the Crown Princess.”
Phew…
I expected it wouldn’t be easy, but he was so rigid and inflexible.
Well, perhaps it was a natural reaction from his perspective.
Once given an order, he couldn’t act as he pleased.
But you have to go.
“Sir Rajif, you absolutely must go. His Highness the Crown Prince needs you.”
He probably didn’t understand what I meant.
But I was right.
You have to go and help.
Of course, Rajif, you might get hurt, but you won’t die.
For Calix’s sake and mine, you absolutely have to go.
But Rajif didn’t even blink.
Of course, if he knew what I knew, he’d run immediately, but he didn’t.
He probably thought I was just trying to keep him by my side, not that I was sending him for his lord’s sake.
It was so frustrating, knowing the future alone every time.
“Miss, I was ordered not to be more than ten rota from you. You cannot send me anywhere. Stop your nonsense.”
“……”
I finally realized.
Ten rota radius?
Hearing that he had been given such a specific order, I was certain that as long as the order didn’t change, he would never leave my side.
There was no way to make him move.
Unless I moved.
I had no plans to go to the battlefield, so that meant he wouldn’t go either.
Ah, really!
I glared at Rajif in frustration.
But no matter how I looked at him, he remained unmoved.
“Go. Just go. Go to His Highness the Crown Prince, whom you value so much!”
I shouted at him in anger.
But he no longer responded.
This man will absolutely not go!
From his silence, I painfully realized that his will would never break.
Fine!
Do as you please!
There’s nothing I can do.
I tried.
He’s the main male lead; he’ll win on his own.
I tried to help.
I tried to send him.
But it was all in vain.
I forcibly suppressed my anger and continued walking, trying to forget about the impact Rajif’s absence might have on Calix.
Honestly, there was no reason for me to be this angry.
Not helping Calix wouldn’t put me at a disadvantage, and Rajif was simply doing his job; he wasn’t intentionally trying to upset me.
I tried to think rationally while walking.
Since I came out thinking I would meet Rajif, I hadn’t thought of a specific destination, but my feet unconsciously led me to the place I went most often: Retian Park.
By the time I arrived at Retian Park, my excitement had finally calmed a little.
As my mind settled, fatigue I had forgotten about suddenly hit me. It seemed tiring, probably because it had been a while since I last went for a walk.
I sat on a bench to rest and saw the Retian River in the distance.
Retian Park, Retian River…
I recalled the time Calix had fainted.
Of course, I had also fallen into the river and fainted before.
Sigh…
Suddenly, my chest felt tight again.
Thoughts of Calix, which I had tried to push away, returned.
If Calix hadn’t saved me, I might have died.
I remembered the gratitude I felt when I realized he had saved me.
Yes, I owed Calix a debt.
A debt for saving my life.
I looked around while sitting on the bench.
About ten rota away, Rajif was watching me.
Rajif, Calix… Rajif…
My mind began spinning again like a squirrel on a wheel.
The main male lead can’t die.
He’ll live even if I don’t help.
He will return alive.
No matter how I think, I reach the same conclusion.
Then I…
Yes! I’ll repay the life debt I owe the main male lead, and prove my absolute loyalty to him to gain justification to ask him to save my family! That’s right!
I sprang up from the bench and stared directly at Rajif.
If Rajif, who must go to Calix, must stay within a ten-rota radius of me…
Yes!
I’ll go to Calix.
I’ll go to the battlefield!
It was absurd that I, whose survival was the most important, made such a decision, but I couldn’t avoid it.
I resolved to show my loyalty to my main male lead, who would surely return alive.
Of course, I couldn’t say it was only loyalty that drove this decision.
Other emotions might have played a part, but I decided not to think about them anymore.
I am going for my own peace of mind, for the sake of my family!
That’s it!
I decided to think of it simply.
