Chapter 79
“Shh, everyone, this isn’t a playground. You can’t make noise like this in the library. Please lower your voices a little.”
“Ah, sorry.”
“We’re sorry…”
“But… where did you meet the prince?”
“Are you going to marry the prince? Then would the librarian become royalty too?”
Whether it was because they were children or just their stubborn personalities, the little sparrow-like kids chattered in slightly lower voices than before, their bright eyes waiting eagerly for an answer.
Noxia felt a wave of dizziness. Sometimes, bright children were even harder to handle than twisted adults.
“Everyone, that’s private between me and the prince. I can’t tell you. My role is only to help you find your books. Now, let’s all go downstairs and check out your books.”
Noxia spoke as firmly as she could while still being kind. Somehow, it worked—the children quieted down, one by one.
Like a shepherd girl guiding her sheep, Noxia led the children down to the first floor and helped them check out books.
Finally, when the cute but stubborn little “sheep” had gone, Noxia sighed and trudged back to the second floor.
‘Wow… what just passed through me…’
She felt completely drained, as if she had barely escaped a storm. The children, with no malice, had almost knocked down an adult much older than them.
Climbing back to the second floor, Noxia walked through the shelves toward the checkout desk. Then, she paused quietly as she heard nervous murmurs from behind a bookshelf.
“Seriously, so annoying. She’s just a commoner working as an assistant librarian because she has no money, but she got lucky catching the prince’s attention and now she thinks she’s someone special.”
“The prince has weird tastes too. There are plenty of decent girls who like him—why her?”
“Exactly. Honestly, I’m disappointed in the prince too.”
“Did you hear how loud she was earlier? Those dumb kids praised her and she got all cocky.”
“Yeah. It was so loud you could hear it from everywhere. Isn’t that rude? People are here to study quietly or read books, not deal with that kind of nonsense.”
Noxia closed her eyes briefly, then opened them. She felt her blood boil. Whether in her life as Hermane or this one, she was not the type to quietly endure such absurd insults.
She immediately changed direction. When she turned the corner, the academy students hiding behind the bookshelf froze, surprised to see her.
“Ah! You scared me!”
“Uh…”
The students, embarrassed after being caught talking badly about the assistant librarian, blushed. Noxia fixed them with a cold stare.
Unlike the little kids earlier, these students seemed around her age. How old did someone have to be to be a “college student” yet have worse manners than elementary students?
“Could you lower your voices a little? You might disturb other visitors. Talking loudly and gossiping in a place for studying and reading doesn’t look very classy.”
Noxia’s tone was sharp and cold. Their faces turned even redder.
One of them opened his mouth to argue, but a friend grabbed his arm and shook his head urgently. They knew causing trouble here would benefit no one.
“Please be careful next time. If you want to talk badly about someone, do it somewhere loud where it won’t bother others. And if you need help finding resources, come to me or the other librarians.”
At the end, Noxia added a polite smile, but with a hint of mockery.
Their expressions grew darker, but they only clenched their mouths and glared at her. Noxia, sensing their scorn and contempt, did not flinch. Instead, she inwardly smirked and walked away gracefully. She turned her back and walked lightly in the opposite direction.
‘Pathetic.’
Noxia clicked her tongue softly. She gathered her annoyance, which was too trivial even to call anger, and sat back down behind the checkout desk.
‘If you want to insult me, do it somewhere I can’t hear. What kind of mindset makes you talk loud about me working as a librarian, right where I can hear it? Did you really want me to hear?’
But that wasn’t the case. When Noxia confronted them, they were clearly embarrassed. Perhaps they had assumed she would cry and hide if she overheard them, rather than approaching them boldly.
They had no personal knowledge of Noxia Deccan, so they thought that was possible.
Even before regaining memories of her past life, she was never the type to just take things quietly. She would rather confront someone directly, even if she later regretted it, than cry and hide.
Now, with memories of her time as a king who ruled and cared for humanity and even opposed the gods, these complaining college students seemed utterly ridiculous.
‘And they don’t even know me.’
They weren’t people she knew well, nor had she ever had a proper conversation with them. They had only been gossiping about the prince and the librarian earlier.
‘And yet they think they can just say whatever they want.’
Why were they insulting her and Prince Elenon? Why did they expect something, then get disappointed and mock him?
‘Did we harm you? Did we bother you? Do you have any reason to resent me? No. The two of us like each other and want to date—what’s the problem?’
Humans never really change. Good or evil, noble or pathetic, it wasn’t much different from ancient times.
They always existed—people who only mock behind someone’s back, never able to argue face-to-face. People who feel envy or false superiority over what they don’t even have.
Such petty villains were everywhere. Seeing them, Noxia felt little impact.
‘…I guess I wouldn’t have stayed this calm in the past.’
She had to admit it. Even with her brave, “I won’t be pushed around” personality, her background as a common orphan had subconsciously made her feel inferior. That insecurity deepened after becoming the prince’s lover. She sometimes worried that her lowly self might stain the one she loved.
But now, with memories of her ancient life restored, after fully living her first life and even a second life, she had gained near-perfect peace.
‘Yeah, it doesn’t matter if someone’s royalty or common.’
Originally, such divisions didn’t exist. Royalty, nobles, or commoners—humans were all the same.
When life ends, the body decays, and the soul faces reward or punishment after death, regardless of status. Experiencing this twice gave Noxia much detachment.
Yet, being detached didn’t make her numb. She was still human, and humans cannot be completely free of life’s joys, sorrows, and desires.
‘…I want to see him.’
Regaining Hermane’s memories didn’t make Prince Elenon any less lovable. If anything, she desired him more now.
‘I hope it’s evening soon. So I can get off work and go on a date.’
Recovering her memories brought confusion. Some changes were good, like becoming bolder against people who insulted her. But recalling her past life was often painful.
Fragments of a past she wanted to forget, faded ghosts of memories, disturbed her dreams and her life, shaking her identity to the core.
For someone who just wanted to live her current life faithfully, the lingering regrets of her past life were unwelcome guests.
Unlike her peaceful death in her first life, the second life had ended miserably. Those memories were not something she wanted to recall—they repeated like nightmares.
‘I want to see him…’
At least with Elenon, she felt whole. He was not a reincarnation of anyone else.
Not a ghost or regret—he belonged to this time. He was her lover in her current life as Noxia Deccan.
Being in his arms, smelling his familiar scent, she could forget that she had once been a great king. She could enjoy being an eighteen-year-old girl, in love, without any painful memories.
‘Prince Elenon, Karnen, Daisy, Rachel, Mrs. Liana Artmon… these are the people who matter now. The ones I met in this life. The ones who let me live as Noxia Deccan.’
Not the man with those cruel blue eyes who kept appearing in her dreams. Not the hateful, pitiful Promeon, once a lover and now only a lingering regret.
Noxia remembered news from friends about society. Jade Lanon, a duke who had come to the capital to expand his family’s business, was returning to his northern homeland.
She didn’t know how much of the Lanon family actually existed or how much was Promeon’s elaborate illusion. She had no one to ask.
Of course, if she summoned Promeon and demanded answers, he would explain willingly. But Noxia didn’t want that.
Anyway, Jade Lanon leaving the capital meant Promeon would no longer interfere in her life.
Thinking about it, she felt a hollow emptiness—and hated herself for feeling it.
‘Idiot… why feel empty just because he’s gone.’
She mustn’t long for him. She mustn’t think of him.
The man she now called “him” had once worn the mask of the northern young master, had always helped her at the right moments, and had never forgotten her.
She wanted to ignore the mix of pity, guilt, lingering feelings, and love she still felt for him. Selfishly, maybe cruelly, she pushed it all aside.
