Chapter 30
“Are you really okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, I told you. You know I’m healthy. I don’t even know why I was like that yesterday.”
“What if you developed some kind of illness without realizing it? Did you go to the hospital?”
“The hospital? Come on. I’m really fine, I said. Here, have a drink.”
“Thanks, Nox.”
“No, thank you. I’ll enjoy the drinks and fruit. But hey—do you usually keep tabs on me or something?”
After placing a glass in her friend’s hand, Noxia took one herself and sat down on the sofa across from her, asking sharply. Karnen immediately looked guilty and, avoiding Noxia’s gaze, muttered an explanation.
“It’s not like that. I swear I’ve never had anyone report to me in detail about what you do every day. It’s just…”
“Just?”
“I did ask them to let me know if something serious ever happened to you. Not necessarily something like yesterday—just if there was a problem, so I could help.”
“…Kali, thank you so much for worrying about me. I really mean it. But I’m not a child you need to look after. And I’ve already been indebted to you more than enough. You fussing over me like that makes me uncomfortable, and it’s a hassle for you too.”
“Sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
As Noxia gently reasoned with her, Karnen replied dejectedly. Her friend’s quick admission and apology quickly melted Noxia’s irritation. With her mood softened, she offered a gentle reminder.
“Don’t do that again, okay? If something happens, I’ll tell you right away. You’re my closest friend. I can at least keep that much courtesy.”
“Got it, Noxia. I’m sorry…”
“Okay, it’s fine.”
“But really, why did you collapse? I was shocked when I heard. You’re usually so healthy.”
“Exactly. I don’t know why either. And of all times, collapsing at work less than a week after I started—it’s so embarrassing I could die.”
“No, actually, it’s a good thing. Of course, the best thing would’ve been not fainting at all, but at least you collapsed at work and got first aid right away. What if you’d collapsed in the middle of the street, or at home with no one around?”
“Well… that’s true. Confucius said something like that too.”
“Confucius?”
Karnen’s tone suddenly sharpened. Her gaze grew sharp as well. Startled by the unexpected reaction, Noxia hesitated, then cautiously added,
“When I collapsed, Young Lord Jade Ranon was there too. Didn’t you hear?”
“This is the first I’m hearing of it. I only heard that you fainted. Why was he there?”
Karnen’s tone and eyes remained sharp. Sensing an unexpected, vivid hostility, Noxia was taken aback and looked at her in confusion.
‘Why? Why is she reacting like this? Why does she hate him so much?’
To like or dislike someone that strongly, you usually need some level of interaction. There’s no reason to pour out such intense feelings toward someone you have no connection with.
As far as Noxia knew, Karnen and Young Lord Ranon only had the barest acquaintance—just enough to exchange polite greetings when they happened to meet at social gatherings. It was hardly a relationship worth calling familiarity.
So where was this hostility coming from? It was puzzling. Had something happened between Karnen and Young Lord Ranon without Noxia knowing?
“Tell me exactly what happened.”
Karnen requested, her voice forcibly calm, as though she were pressing something down with all her might.
“…It wasn’t anything special. Young Lord Ranon visited the academy library and said he was looking for a book on modern architecture, so I offered to guide him. But when we reached the shelves, I collapsed. I still don’t know why.”
Noxia explained carefully, watching Karnen’s expression closely. As she listened, Karnen grew paler by the second, and by the end she was clenching her teeth. Noxia’s confusion deepened.
“Karnen, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“…He came looking for you? And then you collapsed?”
“Technically, you could say it like that. But you’re acting strange, Kali. You don’t actually think I collapsed because Young Lord Ranon came to see me, do you?”
That Jade Ranon came to find her, and then she collapsed. Noxia didn’t like the way Karnen linked those two sentences side by side.
“There’s no cause-and-effect relationship there, Kali. He just happened to come by, and I just happened to collapse at that moment. That’s the logical explanation, isn’t it? Unless he has some supernatural ability to make people faint.”
Noxia admonished her sternly. Karnen didn’t respond right away. She just stared at Noxia with a look Noxia had never seen before.
“…So in the end, you’re taking his side.”
“What?”
The words Karnen finally muttered in a murky low voice didn’t reach Noxia clearly. She frowned and asked again, but Karnen pressed her lips together and said nothing more.
Noxia soon realized that something was seriously wrong. Karnen’s face was pale to the point of looking almost bluish.
Her eyes were filled with a dreadful emotion, as if she were facing her sworn mortal enemy—or witnessing something utterly horrific. An emotion whose cause Noxia couldn’t even begin to guess.
“Kali?”
Noxia’s heart began to race. Was it because she had never seen anyone make such a terrifying expression before? Or was there another reason, buried deep in her subconscious?
“Karnen, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?”
With fear in her heart, Noxia reached out and gently touched Karnen’s sleeve. Karnen sharply knocked her hand away.
“Ah…!”
More startled than hurt, Noxia gasped sharply and pulled her hand back. She stared at Karnen with wide eyes, completely taken aback by the unexpected reaction.
Karnen herself looked almost just as shocked.
As if only now realizing what she had done, she flinched, then sprang to her feet with an expression where countless emotions were messily tangled together.
“Noxia, I’m sorry. I just remembered something urgent I need to take care of, so I think I need to go home right now.”
“Uh…?”
“I’m sorry. I really am. But I have to leave immediately. You should get some good rest at home too. Enjoy the drinks and fruit.”
Karnen muttered as though possessed by something. A strange frenzy flickered in her eyes. For an instant, an alien light seemed to pass through her pale green irises.
“I’m sorry, Nox.”
Karnen turned away at once. Noxia didn’t even have time to stop her or ask what was going on.
Without waiting for farewells or seeing her off, Karnen fled as if escaping. The front door slammed shut mercilessly, leaving Noxia alone in the living room.
She was utterly bewildered. Her head felt frozen and numb, while her hands trembled faintly.
There was no one left to explain what on earth had just happened. And even if someone had explained it, she probably wouldn’t have been able to understand it all right now.
It wasn’t time to dig into the truth yet.
Karnen returned home earlier than scheduled. The rest of the marquis’s family was out, and only the mansion’s servants greeted the young lady.
She went straight to her room. Locking the bedroom door tightly, she flung her handbag onto the floor, then tore off her jacket as if ripping it apart and threw that down as well.
“Ugh…”
Rage choked her breath. She gagged. She was so angry her whole body physically ached. Tears beaded like drops of blood and streamed down her cheeks.
‘You too. In the end, you too.’
Noxia Deccan’s face filled her mind—the way she frowned and asked why she was blaming Young Lord Ranon for her collapse. No matter how tightly she shut her eyes, she couldn’t shake the image.
‘In the end, you’re on his side too.’
Karnen curled up on the bed and closed her eyes, holding her breath as she waited for her emotions to settle and her thoughts to fade.
How much time passed? Minutes? Hours? It no longer felt meaningful to keep track.
In truth, everything in this life was meaningless. It had always been that way.
Dozens of times, hundreds—perhaps even thousands. At some point she had stopped counting, and her memories had grown hazy.
The Holby marquisate, the marquis and marchioness, the marquis’s two sons, the people she had called family all her life—and even the name Karnen Holby…
“Ah.”
Suddenly, an eerie silence fell over the room. As if she had been dropped alone into a grave, as if time in this room had been completely severed from the time outside.
“…You.”
The woman who had been crouched like a corpse slowly raised herself. Karnen Holby glared with bloodshot eyes at the presence that had appeared before her.
“You!”
She grabbed the first thing her hand touched and hurled it without hesitation. A pillow. Something that wouldn’t hurt much even if it hit.
Instead of letting himself be struck by the pillow filled with Karnen Holby’s fury, Jade Ranon lightly extended a hand and caught it in midair.
“You might as well just hit me with your hands.”
Jade whispered as he politely offered the pillow back. Rather than taking it, Karnen remained kneeling where she was, glaring at him as if rooted to the spot.
Jade waited calmly. He had expected her to charge at him and attempt to assault him. If that was what she wanted, he was willing to accept it.
“…Forget it. Why would I bother hitting you? It’s not like beating you would leave a scratch anyway.”
But instead of flaring up violently as he had expected, Karnen suddenly seemed to lose all will, slumping like a deflated balloon.
A flicker of confusion crossed Jade’s eyes. Catching it, Karnen sneered at him.
“Why are you so surprised? Is it strange that I’m not dancing to your tune? That I’m not going berserk like you predicted, tearing into you, clawing you, and hurling every curse I can think of?”
As Karnen whispered in an icy voice, Jade’s face remained artificially blank throughout.
As though he were afraid some emotion might leak out, he seemed to have locked his gaze behind a tight bolt—so chillingly empty that it felt like nothing was there at all.
“Yeah, I suppose it would be surprising. To you, I’ve always been that kind of existence. Something you can use, betray, treat like a piece on a game board—and discard once it’s used up…”
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?!”
When Jade absentmindedly objected to her self-mocking accusation, Karnen suddenly shouted.
Despite her voice being so loud and sharp, no one from the marquis’s household came running in surprise or concern. As expected, this room existed solely as a space-time belonging to the two of them alone.
