Chapter 114
Promeon could not forget the scene of war he had witnessed long ago in another dimension.
The victorious gods captured the gods, humans, and soldiers of other races who had fought on the opposing side, drove all their souls into a pit at once, and mercilessly crushed them — a horrific massacre.
Seeing that dreadful sight, Promeon felt his mind snap awake. The fear he had buried beneath desperation resurfaced like sharp pain rising to the surface.
A being whose soul is destroyed cannot go to paradise even after death. It is not merely that the body dies; the very essence — the soul itself — disappears.
The realization struck him like a blunt weapon: if he challenged the Supreme God and failed, if he were ground down and erased like that, he would never reunite with Hermane again.
Even after Hermane’s death, it had already been painful enough to remain bound alone to the living world, longing for her.
But if he could not meet her again even in the afterlife, that would be a punishment far more dreadful than the curse of immortality.
In the end, Promeon lost his nerve at the last moment and turned back. He had been ready to throw himself into battle like a moth to a flame, prepared to vanish if necessary, but he regained not only reason but fear as well and returned to the world where he had originally lived.
It was some time after abandoning his attempt to kill the Supreme God that he personally descended into the underworld to search for the soul of the one he loved.
“I crossed dimensions to find the Supreme God. After being driven out by you all, he was fighting native gods in another world. At first, I even considered helping those native gods and fighting alongside them. My plan was to earn merit on their side and, once they won the war, request the life of the god who cursed me as my reward.”
Promeon calmly revealed his past. He chose not to describe in detail the horrific scene of soul annihilation he had witnessed or the terrible fear he had felt then.
“But at the time, the tide of war was unfavorable for the native gods, and I didn’t want to gamble. If they had won, I would have gained freedom. But if they lost and the gods who cursed me were victorious, I would have suffered double the retaliation. After already receiving the curse of immortality for challenging them once, would they really have spared me kindly when I chased them into another dimension to oppose them again?”
Promeon added bitterly, and Noxia listened quietly, unable to argue.
“I don’t know how the battle ended. Seeing that I’m still stuck in this cursed body, maybe the native gods lost. But who knows? Their sense of time is completely different from ours. Time can flow differently between dimensions. Maybe the outcome still hasn’t been decided. The war might still be continuing even now.”
Out of habit, Promeon referred to gods as “those things” and humans as “us.” It was merely an empty verbal habit — the lonely stubbornness of someone who was no longer an ordinary human, yet not a complete god either.
“I should have gone back long ago to find out. No… I shouldn’t have returned to this world in the first place. If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been forced to reincarnate.”
The eyes that had maintained composure until now collapsed into miserable sorrow.
“I’m sorry.”
He apologized at once to his former lover Hermane and to Noxia Dekan, the human of this present life.
“I’m truly, truly sorry.”
He could have tried harder to break the curse, yet instead of enduring fear and striving forward, he chose a comparatively cowardly path — and that choice hurt her.
“I’m sorry for trying to hold onto you by force. In your past life, in this life, and even in the underworld.”
Rather than addressing the root cause of his loneliness, he imprisoned and pressured her merely to soothe his endless solitude.
Moisture gathered in his lake-blue eyes. They were not false tears meant to provoke sympathy, but traces of sincere regret.
Noxia stared at Promeon with a somewhat startled expression. Then her wide eyes softened, and she stepped closer.
“Promeon.”
Noxia whispered. Promeon silently met her gaze.
Though her eyes and voice were entirely different from Hermane’s, he now enjoyed looking into Noxia Dekan’s eyes and felt happy hearing her call his name.
It was not because he believed Hermane and Noxia were the same person. He had accepted that they were both the same and yet separate beings.
Now, he found even their differences lovable. That was all.
“Thank you for finally being honest with me.”
Noxia spoke calmly. Her gratitude was sincere, because the Promeon who had kidnapped her in her previous life and imprisoned her in a remote castle would never have made such a confession.
He could have hidden the fact that a way to break the curse still existed and manipulated her sympathy until the end.
He could have cruelly whispered, I am this lonely, suffering under immortality — will you really turn away from me?
If he had done that, Noxia might not have been able to harden her heart because of memories of her former lover.
Even after choosing Elenon, she might have continued looking back over her shoulder, endlessly wondering whether she had made the wrong choice, trapped in doubt and regret until the end of her third life.
But Promeon’s confession drove away her guilt. It was a wholly selfless choice he had made at last.
“And I’m sorry too.”
The one who had just received an apology now became the one apologizing. Sympathy filled Noxia’s eyes.
“I’m sorry for not choosing you in this life either.”
In the first life, we were lovers. Family and friends, teacher and student. It felt as though being together forever would be more than enough for happiness.
“But in that first life, I gave you my very best.”
They had truly spent an entire lifetime together. Both had been abundantly happy.
“I gave you everything without holding anything back then, so there’s nothing left I can give you anymore.”
She had already poured the entirety of one lifetime into him; once the firewood burned away, only lonely ashes remained.
“I loved you with all my strength. I missed you terribly when you weren’t there. I was happy you were with me at my final moment. I gave my best at every moment… so there’s nothing left now.”
Ah, Promeon. I truly loved you with my entire life.
“Now the only way my heart can still reach yours is through lingering attachment.”
Even after the firewood burned out and the flames died, faint warmth lingered in the ashes.
But it was only residual heat; once a new wind blew, it would inevitably grow cold.
“So I’m sorry, Promeon.”
Their brief honeymoon by the seaside had been the process of exhausting even that final warmth.
For a moment, she had hoped the flame might rekindle — but the hope cooled quickly along with that fleeting heat.
“Don’t apologize for that.”
Promeon said gently. The man who had been on the verge of tears earlier was now smiling instead.
The confession of love he had just heard was sweet enough — even if all of it was spoken in the past tense.
“I also loved you with all my heart. Every single day, without holding anything back.”
Promeon added kindly. Unlike hers, his love was still in the present tense, but he chose to match Noxia once again. He kept his promise to the very end.
“So you don’t have to leave even lingering feelings behind anymore. We loved each other enough to leave no regrets.”
Letting go at last of lingering attachment, regret, and remorse from the past years — and saying goodbye for the sake of the days yet to come.
Promeon stepped half a pace forward. The distance between them had already been close, and that small movement shortened it instantly.
Noxia flinched but did not step back. As his face drew near, she simply closed her eyes quietly.
Soft lips touched her forehead. A careful breath scattered tenderly and melted into her chocolate-colored bangs.
The final kiss left behind a lukewarm warmth — neither too hot nor too cold, just enough to be remembered without pain, like ashes after the flame has gone out.
“Hermane.”
At the end, he whispered her old name.
When Noxia Dekan opened her eyes again, the ancient hero was nowhere to be seen.
Chapter 18. The Days Yet to Come
After standing still for a while, Noxia slowly turned around and began walking with stiff steps. She creaked forward toward the house where she had once lived.
When she slipped her hand into her jacket pocket, she felt a key that had not been there this morning. Noxia took it out, unlocked the door, and went inside.
Nothing in the rented home had changed. It was as if she had spent not nine months elsewhere, but only a single day.
While she had been forgotten from people’s memories, another tenant could easily have moved in — yet either this room itself had been forgotten as well, or Promeon had intervened. Everything looked exactly as she remembered.
Feeling slightly dazed, Noxia slowly crossed the room. If not for the thick layer of dust piled on the furniture, she might have believed the past months had merely been a dream.
A suspicious smell came from the kitchen. Imagining how the food inside the long-abandoned refrigerator must have rotted made her body shiver.
I should start cleaning tomorrow. Throw away all the spoiled food and buy new groceries…
There was a mountain of things to do starting tomorrow — all perfectly ordinary worries. As if the past months had been nothing at all, like a mirage less real than a dream.
[If you wish, you can continue living in that house from now on as well — as though nothing since last autumn ever happened.]
Everything had turned out just as Promeon said.
Almost everything — except for one enormous part.
Leaving footprints in the pale dust piled like ash across the floor, Noxia walked toward the slightly musty bed. Dust had settled there as well.
She brushed the blanket off roughly with her hand and flopped down on top of it without even removing her coat. The sensation of the bed sinking beneath her felt unfamiliar.
‘No wonder it feels unfamiliar. It’s been months.’
