Chapter 105
When the ball ended, the princes each returned to their respective guest rooms. Before getting into bed, Elenon looked at his face in the mirror and, with the most detached gaze he could muster, examined his features one by one.
‘Well, at this level, I’m definitely above average….’
It was a fairly objective assessment. Yes, he had a mirror and eyes of his own; it wasn’t as if he didn’t know he was handsome. But…
‘Still, not as much as my brother.’
Moreover, not only in appearance but in every other field as well, his brother was superior, so in many ways it was his complete defeat.
From the start, it was ridiculous to burn with competitiveness over something like this and calculate whether it was a crushing loss or an overwhelming victory. The other party didn’t even know there was any competition at all, yet he alone was seething.
Sinking into self-reproach, Elenon turned his back on the mirror. Both body and mind were tired. In a troubled state, he lay down on the bed.
I’ll dream again tonight, as always. And the very next day, just as promised, I’ll forget everything. The faint longing will leave behind only a ghostlike trace.
Elenon tried to fall asleep quickly. He had an important engagement tomorrow as well. Tomorrow afternoon, he and Kairon were to attend a horse race hosted by the Tyros royal family.
‘I hate riding horses.’
Though they had come to Tyros as representatives of the royal family, the actual diplomatic work belonged to the delegation, so the princes themselves did not have much to do.
Their main duty was to socialize with the royals and nobles of Tyros and build friendly relations. It was similar to what they always did in their own country’s social circles, so it wasn’t particularly difficult.
The horse race was an extension of that socializing. It was quite an unfamiliar form of social gathering in Hermeon.
Although the Hermeon royal family held regular hunting competitions, the nobles of that country usually socialized at static tea parties, formal banquets, or typical balls.
In contrast, horse racing was a very popular pastime in Tyros. It was common for the nobles there to make bets on the races or simply ride around on horseback while chatting.
The two princes of Hermeon were invited to the horse race as distinguished guests visiting Tyros. Elenon inwardly detested it, but once again he did not show it outwardly.
‘It can’t be helped.’
How nice it would have been if he could pout like a childish boy and honestly whine that he didn’t want to go to the horse race.
But even Kairon, who knew that his younger brother disliked horseback riding, did not take his side this time.
He was Elenon’s older brother and at the same time a prince of Hermeon, and he knew what choice he had to make for the sake of maintaining amicable diplomatic relations.
If they were to skip a gathering that the Tyros royal family had personally urged them to attend, offering some flimsy excuse, it could be seen as rude. Swallowing his private gloom, Elenon accepted that fact.
‘Still, if Noxia had been here, at least she would’ve asked whether I should pretend to be ill and skip it.’
Tossing in bed, he thought of a certain girl. The one person who knew well that he was clumsy at horseback riding and all other physical activities.
Someone who knew that he was more interested in sitting quietly to read or write than in moving about energetically, who likewise had little talent for sports and enjoyed immersing herself in books.
In truth, she was someone who suited a library well. Watching her sit neatly in a quiet space where time seemed to have stopped, gazing at printed letters, would often make his heart swell warmly.
But being a quiet person did not mean she was emotionless or old-fashioned. On the contrary. Her smile was lively, and as befitted a fresh young girl, her thinking was flexible.
Flexible but not weak, kind but not merely soft—someone with a firm core.
Elenon had fallen in love with such a girl. And even now…
‘…Wait a moment.’
Even now, what?
‘Who did I just think of?’
Noxia? Who is that?
‘Who on earth….’
Fallen in love. Still long for her. Who in the world?
His eyes flew open. Elenon abruptly sat up without realizing it. Sitting alone in the darkness, staring into empty space, he was immersed in the sound of his own pounding heart as he called someone to mind.
‘…Noxia.’
Longing had always clung like a stain to the most secret corner of his subconscious. Like dark red ink spilled on pure white cloth, impossible to wash away no matter how many times it was scrubbed.
‘Noxia Decan.’
Now that ink spilled out of his subconscious and drenched him like a waterfall—his entire mind, his body, his soul that had been bound by oblivion.
“Ugh.”
Overwhelmed by the heavy rush of memories, Elenon covered his mouth and retched. Tears welled in his eyes. It wasn’t merely from physical nausea.
The next moment, Elenon lost consciousness.
Erasing memories does not make the time spent together itself disappear, and certain feelings engraved upon the soul are stronger than oblivion.
Wandering through the realm of his subconscious in a hazy state, Elenon delved deeper and deeper into his past that had been shrouded in secrecy. Opening locked doors and peering inside, he dug through the layers of forgetfulness.
The spell that had bound him began to crack. After teetering precariously for so long, he finally faced the truth in a foreign land.
The days he had forgotten, the memories that had seeped into his marrow and had never been completely lost.
Noxia. Noxia Decan. Soft hair, vivid eyes, a warm smile, sweet lips. First love and friend, his one and only lover.
The girl in his dreams finally regained her name. Until now, no matter how he recalled her half-asleep, he would forget everything again by morning—but this time, he did not want to.
Elenon reached out desperately. Even if it was a dream, he wanted to hold on. He was afraid of losing the figure flickering before his eyes. Afraid of falling into oblivion once again.
The girl could not be grasped, and after crying out her name, he woke from the dream.
It was morning again. This time, everything was clear.
Jeremy, a royal attendant of the Hermeon palace, had come all the way to a distant foreign land with the important duty of serving the second prince. As a royal attendant, he took pride in his position and carried out his duties diligently even on unfamiliar soil.
Today as well, he rose early, dressed neatly, and waited in front of the second prince’s room. When the prince awoke, it was his role to enter, help him dress, and prepare water for washing.
But today, the wait was unusually long. The diligent prince, who normally rose even a little earlier than the set time to begin his day, gave no sign of waking even when the hour had come.
The attendant gradually began to grow anxious. Had something happened to the prince? Surely he wasn’t unwell? Could he have fallen ill during the night without anyone knowing?
With a worried expression, the attendant cautiously pressed his ear to the bedroom door. But no matter how closely he listened, he could not hear the faint groans that a patient would ordinarily make.
That only deepened his concern. What if he was so ill that he couldn’t even groan? What if his fever had risen and he had lost consciousness?
‘This won’t do. I have to go in.’
It was a grave discourtesy for a subordinate to open the door and enter without first being summoned or given permission by royalty.
But if the master he served might have collapsed from illness, simply standing outside while adhering to principles would also fall far short of an attendant’s duty.
Jeremy finally made up his mind. First, he knocked urgently. If there was still no response after knocking, he planned to steel himself and go in directly.
Fortunately, when Jeremy knocked in haste, the prince’s voice came from inside the room.
“Come in.”
Greatly relieved, Jeremy opened the door and entered. However, the moment he saw the prince’s complexion, that relief was replaced by a new anxiety.
“…Your Highness?”
Elenon Hermeon’s face was as pale as that of a true invalid. He looked as though he hadn’t slept a wink the night before. His normally handsome face, usually full of vitality, now appeared hollow and drained.
“Your Highness, are you well?”
“Pardon? What did you say?”
“Your complexion is very poor. If you are unwell, I shall summon a physician.”
“Ah. No. That is, no. I just didn’t sleep very well….”
The prince spoke haltingly in a rough, hoarse voice and ran a trembling hand over his pale face. The attendant was now genuinely worried.
“Jeremy.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“Noxia Decan. Do you remember?”
“Pardon?”
“Noxia Decan. My lover. The one I brought last year, saying I would introduce her to Father and Mother.”
“Your—your lover…?”
“You saw her too. That time, at Saetbyeol Palace. When Noxia said she was thirsty, you brought her water. Do you really not remember?”
The prince questioned him desperately. There was even a hint of madness in his gaze as he stared at the attendant with wide eyes in his pale face.
The attendant, for his part, was bewildered. With the prince clinging so earnestly, as though his entire life depended on a single answer, he simply could not offer a plausible response.
“I am sorry, Your Highness. I do not know whom you are referring to. Please forgive me.”
Even in his confusion, the attendant bowed respectfully in accordance with proper etiquette.
The second prince’s lover—he had never heard of such a thing. Moreover, if the prince had truly introduced her to the King and Queen as he had just claimed, there was no way Jeremy, who had worked in the royal palace for many years, would not know.
Elenon stared endlessly at the attendant, then, seeing his anxious expression as if he feared he had overlooked something, quietly despaired and clenched his teeth.
“…No, Jeremy. There is no need for you to apologize. I must have… mistaken something. It is nothing, so do not worry.”
The prince spoke slowly, as though squeezing out his voice, and Jeremy cast him a furtive, doubtful glance. If he had not been a subordinate, he might have let out a hollow laugh.
‘Nothing? Do you realize what kind of expression you are wearing right now, Your Highness?’
Even if told not to worry, he could not help but worry. Elenon wore an expression that Jeremy, who had served him for so long, had never once seen before.
Who would have imagined that a nineteen-year-old boy, who still had so much of life left to live, could wear such a devastated expression?
If he had not been a subordinate but the prince’s friend, he would have earnestly begged him to confide what had happened. Such was the despair in his eyes.
But the attendant had to fulfill his proper role, and unless the prince first asked for help or gave an order, he had no right to pry into his superior’s mind.
Composing his uneasy expression as best he could, Jeremy could only carry out his duties with polite decorum. The prince said to him in a severely hoarse voice,
“I do not need a physician. Please prepare water for washing.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Jeremy bowed and went to the bathing room to carry out the prince’s command. Left alone, Elenon buried his face in both hands. From his shoulders to his fingertips, he was trembling faintly.
