Chapter 5
A perfect rejection.
It wasn’t even softened with polite phrasing—just a flat refusal.
Benjamin’s red eyes stared straight into hers—composed, yet intimidating.
She couldn’t explain exactly how those two traits could coexist, but that was exactly how it felt right now.
No wonder people say he’s scary. He looks completely impenetrable, and on top of that, he’s imposing. No matter which angle you try to attack from, I feel like I’d be the one taking the hit instead.
“Please don’t misunderstand. You’re badly injured right now, and the mansion has plenty of senior maids who could navigate this place with their eyes closed. Compared to them, that maid still lacks experience, and I thought she wouldn’t be able to care for you properly. And when we married, you came with a wet nurse and three personal maids.”
Even his reasoning for the rejection was neat and precise.
Three personal maids—of course, she had no memory of them.
Still, she could guess who they were. Among the attendants her father had assigned to her, those three were the most loyal to him. They had stuck to her side since she was the daughter of the Count of Alantra, reporting her every move back to her father and treating her like a ward rather than a mistress.
But it was also possible others had followed her here. They would know their authority only lasted as long as they were part of the Alantra household.
Aside from the wet nurse who had raised her from childhood, none of the servants from the Alantra estate were close to her. Their loyalty had always belonged to her father and brother, not to her.
Come to think of it, I don’t even know how the wet nurse ended up here. When I was fifteen, she left for the countryside because her grandson was sick. Did I ask her to come back? Is her grandson better now?
She could find that out later.
Right now, Shy needed that maid from earlier—the one who had served her clumsily. Precisely because she was inexperienced.
“I see. Unfortunately, I can’t even remember that,” Shy replied, keeping the faint smile on her face and sitting up straight. In truth, her posture had stiffened because even she felt tense facing a duke with this kind of presence.
Benjamin nodded at her words.
“The personal maids who served you that day were held responsible for failing to protect you and have been reassigned to the annex. But if you need them, shall I have them brought back?”
“No, that’s all right, Your Grace. As you said, they couldn’t even stop me from falling from the balcony. I think another maid would be better.”
The second-floor balcony.
If she had told those maids not to follow her and gone out alone, then it wouldn’t have been their fault. But right now, she needed someone who could tell her honestly how she had been living here.
And people loyal to her father would be nothing but an obstacle, not a help.
“Since I’m like this physically, I think I do need a personal maid. Someone comfortable to be around rather than just skilled. Could you assign the maid from earlier to me as my personal maid? If it’s inconvenient, I can call for another one at any time.”
Benjamin listened silently, his gaze never leaving her.
“You liked that maid?”
“Yes.”
Such a simple question, yet it carried a weight to it.
“Then, in exchange for letting you have her as your personal maid, will you grant me a request as well?”
Still feeling the tension, Shy pretended composure as she asked, “What kind of request?”
Benjamin’s eyes briefly shifted away as he murmured softly, “Your name…”
“…Pardon?”
“Will you call me by my name?”
His eyes were back on her again.
Only then did Shy realize that she had been calling her own husband Your Grace. And the reason she hadn’t used his name was obvious—he was a complete stranger to her.
Calling someone by their name—even if not with an affectionate nickname—meant closing the distance between them.
Faced with that sudden narrowing of the gap, Shy couldn’t answer immediately. Benjamin spoke again in a low voice.
“We’re family, aren’t we?”
Family. The word struck a painful chord.
She thought of her father and brother. Aside from her late mother, they had been cold and self-serving.
I married this man and made a new family… even though I can’t remember it.
Her blood family had treated her so coldly they hardly deserved to be called “family,” and now her new family was one she couldn’t even remember.
Maybe that was why…
His words rubbed her the wrong way. She could have agreed and easily gotten what she wanted, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.
“Calling someone by name doesn’t make you family. If there’s no affection behind it, it’s just a title. And since I can’t remember anything right now, unfortunately, there won’t be any affection in it.”
Her tone came out sharper than she’d intended.
Benjamin continued to look at her as if carefully considering her words.
Beneath his dark brows, his sharp red eyes swirled with some unreadable emotion. Then he reached out his hand.
Shy flinched instinctively.
But all he did was take her hand gently.
Her face turned red, and she tried to pull away. But just like the first time she’d woken up, Benjamin’s grip was firm and unyielding—she failed to break free.
“Shy.”
His voice was low and steady.
He looked at her as if wanting to say more, but to her surprise, he didn’t add anything else beyond her name.
A moment later, he said, “Everything here must feel unfamiliar because of your memory loss, but as you get used to things little by little, one day you’ll come to see us as family. So… please, call me by my name.”
There was nothing particularly sweet or tender in his manner.
He was still as intimidating as ever, and his expression was stiff.
Yet hearing his words in that quiet voice made her chest ache faintly.
We’ve spent a year together. That’s more than enough time for someone to like another person… maybe even fall in love. Could it be that I…
She didn’t dare finish the thought.
Had she loved him? This man? Maybe.
Or was it just that sudden physical contact had startled her into imagining it?
It was a strange feeling—knowing so little about someone, yet feeling an inexplicable swell of emotion toward them.
Shy slowly answered the way Benjamin wanted.
“…All right, Benjamin.”
It was only a name, but for some reason it made her feel oddly flustered inside.
Family… huh.
Her biological father, the Count, was an authoritarian man who preferred being called “My Lord” over “Father.” To him, she was worth nothing except for the marriage alliance she could secure, so while he never spared the resources for her to grow into a beautiful lady, he had no interest in her beyond that.
Her older brother had inherited that attitude. As the heir to the countship, he considered only himself important and constantly dismissed his younger sister—sometimes even treating her as a rival.
Her mother had been the only one to mediate between father and daughter, showing genuine interest in Shy’s education and desires. Since Shy loved learning, she had been able to receive far more education than most young ladies.
Until her mother passed away.
At fifteen, she had thought losing her mother to illness would be the greatest pain she would ever face.
She had no idea what was still to come.
It had been hard enough to realize that indifference and neglect were, in a way, easier to bear.
Shy pulled herself out of her thoughts.
It wouldn’t do to let her heart flutter just because they had held hands and called each other by name.
“Thank you for calling my name, Shy.”
“It’s nothing, Your Gra—… no, Benjamin.”
Benjamin gave her hand a firm squeeze before slowly letting go. When his warmth left her, she was left with both a faint disappointment and a strange sense of calm.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine.”
“You hit your head, so if you start to get a severe headache or nausea, tell me immediately. The doctor said the external bleeding was actually a stroke of luck—it’s much worse if the blood pools inside.”
“…Yes.”
His eyes flicked toward the bandages wrapped around her head.
“It’s good it wasn’t worse.”
Then his gaze fell to her fingertips. Noticing a small injury, his expression darkened.
“You hurt your hand?”
“Oh.”
She had forgotten about it—it was such a tiny wound. And since it was on the other hand from the one he’d held earlier, he hadn’t noticed until now.
“It’s just a little scratch from an accident.”
“Should I call the doctor?”
“I already put medicine on it. It’s nothing serious.”
“Don’t get hurt. I worry.”
Faced with Benjamin’s stern expression, Shy answered honestly, “All right.”
“If there’s anything else you want besides jewels, just say so.”
“For now, I only ask for that maid to be assigned as my personal maid.”
“Very well.”
Silence fell again. Benjamin didn’t seem to be a man of many words.
Shy called his name awkwardly.
“Benjamin, I think I need to lie down now. My head’s spinning.”
“My apologies for keeping you too long when you’re unwell,” he said politely.
Then, with one hand supporting her waist, Benjamin gently lowered her from a sitting position on the bed to lying down.
The solid feel of his hand on her shoulder and waist left Shy flustered.
