SELTP 19

Chapter 19

I only wanted to learn a few tricks from Hefferson’s cousin—things that might make His Majesty laugh.

I never imagined it would turn into a situation like this……

“St-Saintess…!”

On the dust-covered floor, a small-framed woman was bowing deeply toward me, her body trembling violently.

Her long pink wavy hair spilled down over the white research lab coat she was wearing.

“F-forgive me……”

“W-why are you doing this?”

Thinking that, as his cousin, he would know, I asked Hefferson. He glanced at me awkwardly and said cautiously,

“The head of the laboratory doesn’t have any divine power…… As you know, Zendal is a country where divine power is valued more than in other nations…… so I guess she……”

And what does that have to do with anything?!

Over there in the palace, Lord Ebon, the chancellor with zero divine power, was bossing other nobles around with just a look……!

“C-could you maybe stand up……?”

“N-no. I-I cannot dare to r-raise my head before the Saintess……”

She must have been utterly terrified—her forehead was pressed flat against the floor, shaking so hard it made a rattling sound.

All we did was make eye contact and exchange a simple “hello.” Was this really necessary?

And also—

…I don’t have any divine power either, you know?

But I couldn’t exactly say that.

Frustrated, I buried my face in my hands.

“Ugh…….”

“Hiiik…….”

Then I heard the laboratory head gasp in horror.

This is driving me insane.

So, to explain what led up to this, I need to rewind time a bit.

“Hefferson’s cousin is the head of the Imperial Palace laboratory?”

“Yes. She lives and eats there, so she should be there today as well.”

Hefferson’s cousin was the laboratory head—inside the Imperial Palace, no less.

They say you should strike while the iron is hot.

After work, Hefferson and I went to visit the laboratory.

It was about a thirty-minute walk from the chapel.

“Wow. There was a place like this inside the Imperial Palace?”

“It used to be a hunting ground for leisure in the past. It was left mostly unmanaged, and His Majesty had it turned into a laboratory.”

The trees were so thick you could believe you were deep in a forest.

The two-story laboratory stood like a lone island beside a small pond within that greenery.

Hefferson guided me to the door labeled “Laboratory Head’s Office” on the second floor. Just before knocking, he turned to look at me.

His lips moved as if he were hesitating over something, but soon, with a resigned expression that said, How could I possibly go against the Saintess’s will…, he knocked on the door.

Knock knock.

“Chobi.”

“…….”

There was no answer from inside.

Hefferson casually turned the doorknob.

“Gasp. Is it okay to just open it like that?”

“It’s fine. Even if she’s inside, she’ll pretend she isn’t. That aside, bringing someone so esteemed to such a shabby place……”

The door opened, revealing the interior of the room.

It was about the size of half a classroom. A six-person table stood in the center, bookshelves lined the right wall, and a single desk sat on the left. That was all the furniture, yet the room didn’t feel empty at all.

“…….”

“Oh…….”

Everywhere was piled high with clutter and stacks of books.

Some of it looked like it had been abandoned for a long time; dust floated lazily in the sunlight above a few of the piles.

Wow. It’s filthy.

Hefferson would love this.

His cleaning skills had been improving day by day. Lately, he even seemed to take pleasure in cleaning filthy things.

I’d once seen him snort sharply at the sight of dust rolling around in Priest Raul’s locker.

“……I didn’t think it’d be this dirty.”

Hefferson’s voice trembled.

“This is totally Hefferson’s tast—”

“I apologize.”

Apologize?

“The first teaching I ever received from the Saintess was about cleanliness…… To show the Saintess such… such a disastrous sight……”

Hefferson clenched his fist and strode into the room.

His destination was the back of a person slumped over a desk.

A white lab coat. Pink wavy hair covering her back.

Hefferson’s hand rose as if he might smack her on the back—but upright, proper Hefferson would never do that.

Instead, he lightly tapped the person’s shoulder.

“Chobi.”

“…….”

“Chobi.”

“…….”

“……She seems to be asleep?”

“I’ll wake her.”

She didn’t move at all—she looked sound asleep.

How was he planning to wake her?

Hefferson leaned down toward Chobi’s ear.

I focused my hearing.

“I checked the final draft.”

Snap.

Chobi’s eyes flew open, and she sprang upright like a coiled spring.

Beneath bangs cut just above her eyebrows, her pink eyes—tinged with red more than her hair—rapidly scanned the desk.

Then she noticed Hefferson beside her and punched his shoulder.

“Hey, you lunatic.”

“Ack!”

Hefferson crumpled, his dignified air disappearing instantly.

“I told you not to wake me up with that.”

“Chobi, Chobi! The Saintess! The Saintess is right here!”

“Are you going to keep joking around? You think I’d believe that? Why would the Saintess come he—”

While shaking Hefferson by the collar, Chobi turned her head in the direction of his pointing finger.

She froze as she blinked at me.

Oh, a cute beauty. Slightly upturned eyes—totally my type…… No, wait, greetings first.

“Ah, h-hello.”

“Huh.”

Chobi let go of Hefferson’s collar, her mouth hanging open.

Judging by my appearance, she seemed to have realized I was the Saintess.

This pattern is…

I knew it. This was going to be the whole “Saintess…!” sparkling-eyes routine.

But after eight months of being a knockoff Saintess, I’d picked up a bit of shamelessness.

Whether it was eyes full of anticipation or eyes brimming with emotion—

Bring it on.

Like a contestant entering a one-on-one match, I waited for Chobi’s next move.

“Saintess…!”

But reality doesn’t always match expectations.

“M-my lowly self dared to st-stand at the s-same eye level as the S-Saintess……”

“Uh, uh……?”

As if she’d encountered a cruel tyrant, Chobi threw herself flat on the floor before me.

Her hands, gathered in front of her deeply bowed head, trembled like aspen leaves.

“F-forgive me, forgive me…….”

No, seriously—why……?

And so, back to the present.

“…….”

It had probably been about ten minutes since she’d assumed that position.

No matter how gently we coaxed her, Chobi wouldn’t budge.

Her trembling hadn’t stopped either.

Ugh. She’s definitely going to have terrible muscle soreness tomorrow. Even my muscles hurt just looking at her.

Apparently fed up, Hefferson bent down toward the prostrate Chobi.

“Chobi, the Saintess said it’s okay to stand up. What on earth is wrong with—hngh!”

“Hefferson?!”

As if she’d been waiting for that exact moment, Chobi’s hand shot out and grabbed Hefferson’s arm.

Hefferson lost his balance and rolled across the floor.

“Chobi, you—!”

“…….”

What on earth is going on?

While I stood there flustered by the unexpected turn of events, Chobi crawled over and whispered something into Hefferson’s ear.

A moment later, Hefferson stood up with an awkward expression.

“……Saintess, the laboratory head says she’ll raise her head if you forgive her in the name of the god Seikan……”

“In the name of Seikan?”

“Yes……”

Perhaps embarrassed by his cousin’s negotiation-like request, Hefferson’s face turned bright red.

Only then did I begin to understand Chobi’s otherwise inexplicable behavior.

It wasn’t me people feared—it was the god Seikan behind me, whether he existed or not. Honestly.

So what she needed wasn’t my words, but words invoking Seikan’s name?

I looked at Chobi, still curled up and trembling.

“The laboratory head doesn’t have divine power……”

How petty.

If you’re going to give blessings, why not share them all around?

I’d long since figured out that Seikan favored his creations.

If he didn’t, there’s no way such a perfectly overpowered character could exist in this world.

That face, that body, that power—!

“What were you thinking, acting like that…!”

“S-Saintess, if you’re unwilling, you may tell me to remain with my head bowed forever.”

“…….”

Hefferson spoke urgently, clearly agitated.

It seemed my muttered inner thoughts had caused a misunderstanding.

I’d just gotten carried away admiring the product of that biased affection……

“No. Um, Chobi. I don’t know what exactly I’m forgiving you for, but I forgive you. In the name… of Seikan.”

…In the name of a god.

Saying it out loud was even more cringeworthy than I’d expected.

Maybe it’d be fine if I were a real Saintess, but someone with zero faith like me saying it felt a bit much. Ugh.

Just as I was about to rub the goosebumps on my arm, Chobi suddenly shot upright.

Between her parted bangs, a bright red mark from the wooden floor was clearly stamped on her forehead.

“…….”

Our eyes met—Chobi still kneeling.

She’s not going to do that again, right…?

Just as a flicker of worry crossed my mind, the corners of Chobi’s eyes curved mischievously, her lips lifting into a wide grin as a bright voice burst out.

“Wow~! I never imagined I’d get to meet the Saintess!”

“……Hefferson’s cousin is amazing in many ways.”

“Haha…… She’s a bit unstable, mentally.”

Hefferson and I sat on chairs that had been dusted off, watching Chobi bustle around the room.

All the clutter scattered everywhere turned out to be Chobi’s inventions.

Shoes that tripled the wearer’s jumping ability, for example—or a sleeping drug that could knock someone out for a full day.

“She made things like this? Isn’t she a genius?”

“The shoes destroy your knees, and the sleeping drug causes insomnia for a whole month afterward. Chobi, are you really not going to explain that properly to the Saintess?”

“I was going to. Eventually.”

Without Hefferson, this could’ve gotten dangerous.

I’d been examining a pendant shaped like a closed eye on the table when Chobi’s voice drew my gaze back.

“So the Saintess is looking for something that could make His Majesty laugh, right?”

“Rather than an object specifically……”

My eyes landed on the winged shoes. I doubted His Majesty would laugh at my knees being shattered……

He’s not stupid—he’d notice.

“You know those tricks Hefferson learned from you? I wanted to learn something like that too.”

“The Saintess as well? That’s just child’s play. …Oh, here it is.”

After rummaging around for a while, Chobi pulled a small glass bottle out of a desk drawer and walked over to us.

“I have a much more reliable method.”

“A reliable method?”

Chobi’s catlike eyes gleamed with confidence.

She handed me the glass bottle she’d taken from the drawer.

Inside the perfume-sized bottle, sealed with a cork, sloshed a clear purplish liquid.

“What is this……?”

I had a bad feeling about it.

Chobi grinned.

“A love potion.”

“The effect lasts only twenty-four hours!”

You fall in love with the first person you see after drinking it.

It sounded like something straight out of a novel or comic.

“If His Majesty falls in love with you, wouldn’t he laugh like that right away?”

Even so, I couldn’t possibly give His Majesty some mystery drug with unknown ingredients.

And I didn’t like the idea of making someone fall in love against their will with a potion.

Without hesitation, I pulled out the cork and poured the contents into the flowerbed.

‘His Majesty’s refreshing smile will be achieved through my own efforts!’

Just then, I spotted His Majesty moving across from the chapel building.

My timing was good today.

Right—this was His Majesty telling me not to rely on potions and to work hard to make him laugh—!

“Chobi?”

At the end of His Majesty’s path stood a pink-haired figure—clearly Chobi.

And in Chobi’s hand was a familiar-shaped bottle.

Inside it, the clear purplish liquid sloshed.

That… isn’t that the love potion?

What is she planning to do with that?

As I watched intently, Chobi poured the entire contents of the bottle into a glass of water she held in her other hand.

“…No.”

A sense of dread ran down my spine.

I threw the broom aside and ran.