Chapter 4: A Letter from the Past (4)
“How… did Leila die? And what if something happens to you as well when you go to the North?”
Only now did Gerard’s expression turn serious as he asked.
“…Ah.”
Chloe was caught off guard.
She hadn’t thought that far ahead.
“I want to go with you, but as you know… I can’t right now.”
Gerard was the commander of the Imperial First Knights.
During the social season, he was always busy—
especially in autumn.
Because of the imperial hunting festival.
That’s why the Blanchett family moved to the capital every year.
This year—
They had come earlier than usual.
But—
He still couldn’t leave.
Of course—
He was worried about Leila too.
If he could,
He would go with his wife.
But Leila—
had her husband.
That irritating man—
would protect her.
The one Gerard truly needed to worry about—
was Chloe.
And Abel.
“No. I’ll go alone. In my dream, Leila collapsed from an unknown illness and never woke up. But the Grand Duke and the children beside her were fine, so it doesn’t seem contagious.”
A lie led to another lie.
From the beginning,
Chloe had never intended to go with him.
So she kept building her story—
with more lies.
“…Still…”
“…”
“Wouldn’t it be better to send a letter, as I said earlier?”
Gerard was unexpectedly persistent.
Chloe felt cornered.
She thought—
since it was about Leila,
He would let her go easily.
But she was wrong.
And he was never someone who opposed her decisions.
Yet today—
He did.
“No. I have to go. If I stay here, I won’t be able to do anything because I’ll be too worried.”
“I’m the one who won’t be able to do anything…”
…if I let you go.
He swallowed the rest.
It sounded too childish.
But Chloe misunderstood—
thinking he was worried about Leila.
“My dreams don’t always come true. If I try to change things, they can change. So don’t worry too much, okay?”
Her voice was gentle—
to reassure him.
Even though inside—
It hurt.
“…For example? What have you changed?”
Suddenly—
he asked.
He already knew the answer.
In five minutes… I’ll give in like always.
This—
was just a little stubbornness.
He didn’t want to agree so easily—
to being left behind.
“…Um…”
Caught off guard,
Chloe answered without thinking:
“Marrying you?”
Nine years ago—
after seeing him injured—
she had decided
never to interfere again.
But—
when he reached out his hand—
She couldn’t refuse.
In the book—
there was no mention
of who Gerard would marry.
But she knew—
It wasn’t her.
He—
was the only thing
She had changed.
Even if you came to me… because of Leila.
Reality returned.
Her eyes filled with tears again.
Gerard stopped her from rubbing them.
Unlike her—
He felt strangely happy.
She changed the future… and chose me?
“…I should ask more about that later.”
His stubbornness melted.
Of course—
He could never win against her.
“My lady, you’ll hurt yourself if you keep rubbing your eyes.”
He gently pressed a handkerchief to her eyes.
She closed them—
leaning into him.
How do I make him let me go…?
“…If I stop you, will you cry every day?”
His words made her anxious.
She opened her eyes—
and looked at him.
“Please…”
He removed his hand calmly.
Though inside—
He was anything but calm.
“…Then promise me. You’ll be careful. And you’ll come back safely. If you promise, I’ll let you go.”
Her face was red—
eyes, ears, cheeks, and lips.
How could he refuse?
Maybe… it wouldn’t be so bad if she cried every day.
He smiled gently.
* * *
“Mom, are there really friends for me in the North?”
Abel asked excitedly inside the rattling carriage.
At first—
Chloe hadn’t planned to take him.
But he had never been separated from her before.
He became anxious—
So she brought him along.
“Of course. There’s an older sister one year older than you, a younger sibling two years younger… and even a baby.”
“Do they like swords like me?”
“If they take after their mother, they’ll be good at swordsmanship. The Grand Duchess is very skilled.”
“Really? More than Dad?”
To Abel—
His father was the definition of strength.
And not just to him—
but to the whole Empire.
Even the Zwei tribe—
feared his name.
“…Well… I’m not sure now, but nine years ago, they were about equal.”
Abel beamed.
“Wow! Then I’ll ask her to show me her sword skills!”
“Of course. If it’s not rude, we can ask.”
After chatting endlessly,
Abel grew sleepy.
His soft blond hair swayed gently.
“Ah… my precious baby.”
Chloe moved closer—
and laid his head on her lap.
She stroked his hair softly.
Looking at his hair—
She thought of her husband.
Had she ever touched his hair like this?
No.
Not even once.
There were invisible lines between them.
They were polite.
Considerate.
But not close.
They didn’t even share simple affection—
like a kiss.
He never called her by name.
To him—
she was always
“Lady Roem”
or
“Marchioness Blanchett.”
What hurt most—
was that he never shared his true feelings.
He had never once said he loved her.
Before—
It had made her sad.
But she endured it.
Because his kindness—
made her feel warm.
But now—
after reading that letter—
everything she had buried
came flooding back.
She had thought she had let it go.
But she hadn’t.
She had just hidden it—
deep inside.
She felt unbearably lonely.
Desperate.
Maybe—
he just needed someone
to fill the role beside him.
Someone gentle.
Smart enough.
To bear his child.
To manage his household.
It didn’t have to be her.
Anyone—
could have taken that place.
And he would have been just as kind.
Cruel man.
She wiped her tears.
It felt like she had cried enough
for a lifetime.
“…Sigh…”
She was tired.
Pretending everything was fine—
for Abel.
But she had to.
For him—
she wanted to appear
as a loving couple.
Because she knew—
how much a child is affected by their parents’ relationship.
Kiss.
She kissed his forehead.
She had to stay calm.
For Abel.
Her anger—
could hurt him.
Her family.
Gerard.
Yes—
She could scream.
Slap him.
But then—
They could never go back.
So—
she decided—
to wait.
To understand everything first.
Then confront him.
If your husband is having an affair, you need solid evidence. Otherwise, he’ll just slip away with excuses.
She suddenly remembered something
a baroness had said at a tea party.
Maybe—
her actions now—
weren’t much different.
She needed to know.
What he had written back.
Why Leila had said those things.
She would find out—
from her dear—
and hateful—
friend.
