The Regression Gangster Who Uses Magic!
Chapter : 01
My name is Kang Do-sik. I’m thirty-two…… yes, already thirty-two. I have never lived a righteous day in those thirty-two years. A neighborhood bully in elementary school, a delinquent in middle school, and a hoodlum after dropping out of high school. At twenty-two, I killed three people during a gang brawl and ended up on death row. The prison guards’ eyes are fierce today. For no reason, I was even given delicious special food.
“Kang Do-sik.” “Yes.” “Is the food good today?” “……Yes, it is delicious.” “Really? How delicious?” “Extremely delicious.” “Extremely? Haha, I see. Eat a lot if it’s good. Shall I give you extra today?” “No, that’s alright.” “Why? Are you full?” “No, it’s just…….” “Just what?” “It’s just enough like this.” “Enough? Really? I thought you’d ask for more.”
The guard walked away with a smirk. Rumors have been circulating for a few days that they’ve started cleaning the “tie factory” (execution room). Is it my turn now?
Ding, ding, ding. The bell signaling 6:00 PM rang. A sigh of relief escaped me. I will live one more day.
“Kang Do-sik, why are you reading the newspaper like that? You’ve been looking at the same page for an hour.”
A fellow inmate in the same cell asked.
“I’m reading it because I’m curious about how the world is turning. Being here, there’s no way to know how the outside world is changing.” “What’s the point of knowing that? You’re a death row inmate. Even if you know, you’ve got nowhere to use it.” “I still have to know. It’s frustrating if I don’t.” “And what will you do if it’s frustrating? You’re not going outside anyway, are you?” “That’s why I’m even more curious. When I was outside, I wasn’t even interested in the news. I’d change the channel if it came on TV, and I didn’t even glance at the newspaper.” “Well, you’re a weird guy. Seriously.” “That’s how people are, isn’t it? You want it more when you don’t have it, and you want to do it more when you can’t. Don’t you have that feeling too, hyung?” “That’s true. When I was outside, I just wanted to stay home, but after getting in here, I was dying to go outside.”
The inmate nodded.
“But tell me, Kang Do-sik.” “Yes.” “Do you really believe you’ll get your sentence commuted to life imprisonment? Tell me honestly.” “I have to believe it. If I don’t believe that, what am I supposed to live for?” “Why? Based on what?” “What basis? If I don’t even believe in that, what else is there to live for? I have to believe in something to endure day after day here. Don’t you believe it, hyung?” “Me? I… I don’t know.” “Tell me honestly. What is there to hide from me?” “Honestly, I want to believe it too. Who wouldn’t want to? But reality is reality.” “Still, there has to be hope. If you don’t have that, how do you endure it here? Every day feels like a year.” “I guess so, that’s all we have. If I didn’t even have hope, I’d really go crazy.”
He said with a sigh.
“But, Kang Do-sik. Do you have any regrets?” “Regrets about what?” “That day. That business. Killing those three people.” “…….” “Why aren’t you answering? Is it uncomfortable?” “I regret it. Every single day. When I wake up, it’s regret, and when I close my eyes, it’s regret.” “Really? You didn’t look like it on the outside.” “Yes. Every night I suffer from nightmares, and every morning when I open my eyes, I’m crushed by guilt. Breathing feels like a sin, and eating feels like a sin.” “Then why did you do it? Why did you do such a thing back then?” “I don’t know. Back then…… I thought it was the right thing to do. No, rather than ‘right’…….” “You thought it was right? Killing people? Three of them?” “No, that’s not it……. It’s hard to explain. It’s difficult to put into words.” “Tell me. You have plenty of time. I know time doesn’t move here.” “Back then, I thought it was the only way. For the organization, for my mother. Because I thought there were no other options.” “Mother? Why does your mother come into this?” “My mother has a heart condition. I needed surgery money. Tens of millions of won.” “So you joined the death squad? Because of money?” “Yes. The boss promised. He said if I succeeded, he would take care of all my mother’s surgery costs. He told me not to worry about a single penny.” “And in the end, was that promise kept?” “It wasn’t. The organization abandoned me. As soon as I was caught, they acted like they didn’t know me. They didn’t even get me a single lawyer.” “……Fucking bastards. People like that really deserve to go to hell.” “Exactly. But it’s already too late. Because I was an idiot.” “But how is your mother doing now? Did she get the surgery?” “I don’t know. Aside from the first few times, she never came to visit. There are no letters, either.” “Not even once? Really? How many years has it been?” “It’s been over ten years. She probably can’t come. Think about how much pain it must be for her that her son is a death row inmate. She must be getting pointed at in the neighborhood.” “……Yeah, that must be it. Mother would have no choice.”
The inmate hung his head.
“I’m sorry, for asking. If I made you feel bad…….” “It’s okay. I’m fine. It’s actually better to say it out loud. It feels like something that was bottled up inside is coming out.” “Is that so?” “Yes. There’s no one to talk to about this here. Everyone is too busy talking about themselves.” “That’s true. Who listens to others’ stories here?” “How about you, hyung? Don’t you have any regrets? You’ve been here a long time too.” “Me? Of course I do. Who doesn’t have regrets?” “What is it? Tell me.” “Well……. I committed fraud. Really a lot. Against people.” “How much did you steal?” “Maybe about 5 billion won all together? I don’t know exactly, but something like that.” “Wow, jackpot. Is it really 5 billion? Is that for real?” “Jackpot, my ass. I lost all that money. Through gambling. Blew it all at the casino.” “You lost all 5 billion?” “Yeah. It didn’t even take a year. Money went out faster than it came in. That’s why I regret it. If I had just lived quietly with that money, I would have been living well somewhere by now. If I had fled overseas, I might not have even been caught.” “That’s how life is. You don’t know it at the time. It’s only after time passes that you think, ‘Why did I do that?'” “Yeah, you don’t know at the time. That’s the scariest part. Even when you know, you can’t stop.”
Silence flowed. I picked up the newspaper again. But the letters wouldn’t sink into my eyes.
If I close my eyes tight, the nightmare of that day comes to mind. It was a precarious and fierce moment.
“Kang Do-sik.”
Someone called me from the darkness.
“Yes.” “What is it, you’re not sleeping? It’s already 2:00 AM.” “I can’t sleep. When I lie down, I only see the ceiling.” “Me too. For some reason, I can’t sleep especially well today. Just tossing and turning.” “You too, hyung? I thought you slept well.” “Yeah. Earlier, after hearing your story, I started thinking about the old days for no reason. I started thinking about when I first came in.” “I’m sorry. I kept you awake by talking about weird things.” “No. It’s not your fault. It’s just that if you live here long enough, everyone ends up like this. Not sleeping at night is routine.” “……I suppose so. Everything is like that here.” “But, Kang Do-sik.” “Yes.” “Did you really want to be a doctor? And I don’t mean that as a joke.” “How did you know? Did I say it before?” “You were muttering earlier. That you held a knife that kills people instead of a scalpel. Like sleep-talking.” “……You heard that. It’s embarrassing.” “Sorry, I wasn’t eavesdropping, I just heard it. It’s cramped in here.” “It’s okay. Yes, I really wanted to be a doctor. A surgeon. Sincerely.” “Why surgery? Why specifically surgery?” “When I was young, my mother was very sick. She collapsed because her heart wasn’t good. The doctor who operated on her back then looked really cool.” “And so?” “So I thought I wanted to be like him too. Someone who saves people. Someone who saves dying people. But…….” “But?” “My house was too poor. Forget tutoring academies, I didn’t even have money to buy a single reference book. In the end, I gave up on studying.” “So that’s why you became a hoodlum?” “Yes. At first, I just followed the neighborhood older brothers around and played, but before I knew it, I was in an organization. By the time I came to my senses, it was already too late.” “Life is truly ironic. A guy who wanted to save people became someone who kills them.” “……Yes. It really is. It’s not even funny.” “If you were born again?” “Of course I’d want to be a doctor. No, it doesn’t even have to be a doctor. I just want to live an ordinary life.” “Ordinary?” “Yes. Wake up in the morning, go to work, come home in the evening, and eat with my family on the weekends. That kind of thing.” “……That’s the most difficult thing.” “Exactly. I didn’t know when I could do it, but once I couldn’t, I realized it. How amazing being ordinary is.” “Everyone is like that. I was like that, too.” “You too, hyung?” “Yeah. I wanted to live ordinarily, too. But money came in so easily that I couldn’t stop.” “Is fraud that profitable?” “Extremely. Getting hundreds of millions at once. If you know that taste, you can’t quit.” “Is that why you ended up gambling?” “Yeah. Because money came in so easily, I started spending it too easily. In the end, I lost it all.” “Do you regret it?” “Of course. I regret it every day. But does anything change just because I regret it?” “Still, you have to regret it. That’s how you stay human.” “……Yeah, that’s true.”
Someone’s snoring could be heard from the next cell. The sound of a guard’s footsteps echoed from the end of the hallway. Everything is slow and heavy.
A few years ago.
“23, 25, 35, 38, 40, 43.”
I muttered the six numbers and marked them on the lottery ticket.
“Customer, it’s the same numbers again.”
The lottery shop owner said.
“Yes, I always buy with these numbers.” “Since when have you been buying with these numbers?” “Maybe about three years? I don’t really know.” “Three years? Wow, that’s amazing. Usually, people change their numbers after a few tries.” “I don’t change them. Because if I change them, I feel like those old numbers will come up.” “Ah, that psychology. The feeling that if you change them, your original numbers will win.” “Yes, exactly.” “But customer, you look a bit rushed today.” “Ah, yes. I have an appointment.” “Is that so? Should I do the rest as automatic (Quick Pick)?” “Yes, please give me the automatic ones.”
The lottery owner handed over the ticket.
“Here you go. Good luck, customer.” “Thank you. I hope I win this time.” “Haha, everyone says that.”
I received the ticket with a laugh and glanced at my watch.
“Damn it! Only ten minutes left.” “Customer, it’s dangerous to run!”
Ignoring the owner’s words, I dashed outside. I sprinted toward the pedestrian crossing.
Screeeech!
As I suddenly jumped out, the car that was driving slammed on its brakes. The driver opened the window and shouted.
“Hey! You crazy bastard! Do you want to die? Look where you’re going!” “What? Where are you pointing your finger, you punk?” “What? Are you trying to pick a fight with me?” “You were the one who picked the fight first. Do you want to die?”
The driver glanced behind him and glared at me.
“Fuck, I’ll let it slide today. See you next time.” “Get lost.”
As the car disappeared, I stroked my chest.
“Phew……. Almost got hit by a car.”
If I had been hit by the car then, I might not have become a death row inmate. That might have been my last chance. But I had no luck.
I arrived at the underground hideout. Before opening the door, I steadied my breath and stepped inside.
“Hey, why isn’t that Kang Do-sik coming?” “It’s Saturday today, hyung. He probably went to buy a lottery ticket.” “What? The lottery? He’s late because he’s buying a lottery ticket on a day as important as today?” “That guy always buys lottery tickets.” “Damn it, if he’s doing this kind of shit before we even start, isn’t the job going to go wrong?”
I carefully opened the door and entered.
“Kang Do-sik!”
The gangster roared.
“Hey, you punk! Do you think you’re going on a picnic? What time is it now!” “I’m sorry, hyung! Traffic was blocked.” “Traffic was blocked? At this time?” “Yes, there was an accident…….” “Forget it. What do you expect me to do if you’re late at a time like this, huh?” “I won’t do it again, hyung.” “Again? If we can’t do it today, what ‘again’ is there, you bastard.” “……I’m sorry.”
The gangster glared at me as if he would kill me. But that was only for a moment. The gangster smiled at me. Even with a very evil look in his eyes.
“Forget it, are you ready?” “Yes, hyung! I, Kang Do-sik, will burn this body for the sake of the organization.” “Good, I like that answer.”
The gangster patted my shoulder.
“You know, right? If we succeed today, I’ll take care of all your mother’s surgery costs.” “Thank you, hyung. I will definitely succeed.” “Yeah, I trust you. Alright, everyone get ready. Today, we take Kim Dae-myung’s head.”
The gangster gestured and began to walk.
“Kang Do-sik, are you nervous?”
A fellow organization member next to me asked.
“Honestly, I’m a bit shaky.” “Of course. I was like that at first too.” “You were like that too, hyung?” “Yeah. But once you actually go, your body moves on its own. Don’t worry.” “……Yes.” “And Kang Do-sik.” “Yes.” “Make sure to come back alive today. You know?” “……Yes, hyung.”
Like that, I rushed toward the day of my cruel fate. At that time, my mind was strangely calm. A strange sense of composure washed over me, rather than nervousness. They say that when a person is extremely nervous, their emotions actually stop. I was like that that day. I was calm on the path toward death.
If I had been hit by the car back then. If I had arrived just a little later that day. If, at that time…….
Countless regrets remain. But reality is cold. Regrets are always too late, no matter how fast they come. I am still a death row inmate wearing a red name tag.
End Of Chapter : 01
