Chapter 58
Now that I know my future, the same kind of past won’t happen again.
‘The High Priestess said it would be hard to change that future… but I have to change it.’
The High Priestess lost her child, and I lost the twins.
But the High Priestess’s child survived, whereas my future is clearly decided—the twins’ deaths. That reality where they die before my eyes, where the two children are abandoned by everyone and even driven out of the position of Grand Duke.
So I smiled brightly like a child. Like a kid my age, as if I knew nothing, as if I were just busy chattering about what happened today.
“She told you to come often?”
“The High Priestess… personally?”
“Yes! She was really mysterious. Even though she can’t see, she spoke as if she could see.”
“To think she would say such a thing….”
Just as expected, things went the way I’d anticipated. The maid, who had been cautiously watching us, suddenly said she had something to attend to and stepped outside.
Not long after, the bath was finished. At dinnertime, there was no one bothering us.
It was only the next morning that the Grand Duke came to see us again.
Perhaps because of the story about the High Priestess the day before, he looked quite worried as he looked at Lari.
“Did she fail to get up again today?”
“She woke up briefly in the morning, ate, and then went back to sleep. But she is eating properly.”
“I didn’t realize before, but to think there really was a problem.”
“But we still don’t know anything yet.”
Instead, I started to feel a bit worried about what the Grand Duke might do.
“She becomes lively once she wakes up, so please don’t worry.”
Rohen, who was beside me, looked a little surprised at my lie.
“Is that so.”
“If anything else happens, I’ll let you know.”
“All right. And the orphan girl—no, Aisha.”
“Yes?”
“Didn’t you have a promise with me?”
His voice was quite different from usual. The Grand Duke’s voice, like when he spoke to Lari, was gentle. That unfamiliar gentleness sent a slight chill down my back.
Had that much time already passed? I had boldly claimed that I’d make Rohen say “Dad,” but in the end, he hadn’t actually said it.
“Ah….”
I glanced at Rohen and Lari.
“You’re right.”
“So you remember.”
“I didn’t do it, so I’ll keep the promise.”
Only then did Rohen seem to come to his senses, his expression stiffening.
“What’s with this atmosphere?”
“What do you think? The time for the promise has come.”
“What promise—ah….”
Belatedly, Rohen seemed to remember too, fumbling his words—the thing about Aisha being kicked out if he didn’t call the Duke “Dad.”
“That’s… that’s…! That’s so unfair! Why does Aisha have to be thrown out because of something I do?!”
“Then just say it.”
“Th-that’s…!”
Rohen chewed on his words. As if his pride absolutely wouldn’t allow it. Even if it was a paltry pride, it was the shield that had protected Rohen. That was why he couldn’t open his mouth easily.
I tightly held Rohen’s trembling hand.
“You don’t have to.”
“If I don’t, you’ll get thrown out. That’s….”
“You don’t have to do something for my sake.”
“Aisha.”
Rohen looked back and forth between me and the Duke, helpless, as if begging someone to do something.
“But Rohen, I don’t think the Grand Duke asking you to call him Dad—asking you to lower that pride of yours—is with bad intentions.”
At my sudden words, both the Duke and Rohen turned their gazes to me at the same time.
“It feels like he’s trying to teach you that sometimes you have to know how to lose. That always winning isn’t what true winning is. That to get what you want, sometimes you need to step back yourself… though this might all just be my own conjecture.”
I scratched my head and smiled. In the novel, the Grand Duke was portrayed as someone who let his children do whatever they wanted. That was his way of cherishing them. He just didn’t know how else to do it, didn’t know the right way. Now that I saw him, I could understand the Grand Duke’s heart little by little.
He seemed like someone who didn’t even know how to control his own feelings.
And at my words, Rohen shook his head as if he couldn’t understand.
“Those words…”
“I’m not forcing you. I just… I just don’t think His Grace the Grand Duke is a bad person. That’s all I wanted to say. That’s enough. I want to end this quickly in case my words end up forcibly swaying your heart, Rohen.”
The Duke snorted softly and shook his head.
“You’re a strange child. I can’t tell whether you’re taking my side, Rohen’s side, or just following your own convictions.”
“Let’s say it’s all three.”
‘I’m ridiculous too. I tell Rohen he should bend his pride, yet I can’t bring myself to say anything either.’
Why can’t I ask the Grand Duke not to cast me out, to say that Rohen did call him Dad unconsciously? Is it because of my own petty pride? Or because the High Priestess said I was special, so I can’t even make this kind of request to him?
Or is it because I know that even if I say something like this, the Grand Duke won’t keep me by his side anyway?
“Let me ask you one thing. Do you want to stay by the children’s side?”
“Yes.”
“Then why don’t you ask for it? You could at least throw a tantrum.”
“It sounded like that was one question too many….”
“Ah. I see.”
Strange. In the past, I would’ve been too scared to argue with him so easily, but because of the gentle way he treated the twins, I found myself talking back without realizing it.
“But Aisha, when something is given, something must be received in return. If you answer my question, I’ll grant you one request.”
As if the request I would make were already decided, he spoke in a rather gentle voice.
“Ah, then yes, I will. I’ll answer.”
“Good. Then why don’t you ask for it?”
“Because I thought you wouldn’t grant it anyway.”
“Do you like the children?”
“Yes.”
I didn’t need even a moment of hesitation. I truly like the children. As if this life newly given to me existed for the twins, as if God were guiding me that way, I wanted to devote everything I had to the twins.
It felt like I had to, like it was okay to live that way.
Without realizing it, I’d come to like them that much. The twins taught me that you can like someone this much for no particular reason, and so I smiled a little sadly.
“All right. I understand. Then tell me what you want.”
“Can I stay here? Together with the twins—can I take care of everything about the children like their nanny? At least until the children adjust…?”
“So be it.”
There was no hesitation at all. Just like when he immediately answered that I liked the children.
“What? Just like that?”
“Yes. I made a promise, so I should keep my word.”
“Ah….”
I quietly looked at him.
“You intended to keep me here from the start, didn’t you? That’s why….”
“It depends on how you look at it. It could be true, it could be false, or it could be both.”
For the first time, his hand touched my head. The Grand Duke gently ruffled my hair. But at that sight, Rohen pouted.
“Did you change or something? Why did you suddenly decide to keep Aisha by your side?”
“Who knows.”
“…I guess you’re not such a bad person. You grant requests even without being called Dad.”
The Duke should have said that it was because Rohen had called him Dad, that because Rohen had already opened his heart and said it himself without me doing anything, I was able to stay here—but instead, he looked at me and slightly shook his head.
As if telling me not to say it.
“Then I’ll be going. If Lari wakes up, let me know. It seems she needs to receive a proper examination.”
“Yes. But, Your Grace the Grand Duke.”
“Yes?”
“There isn’t really anywhere for the children and me to go, and there’s so much to learn, so….”
“Where is it you want to go that you’re hesitating like this?”
I scratched my head awkwardly. I’d just gotten permission to stay here today, so asking this right away felt a bit much… but still, it was something that needed looking into.
“I want to go to the library! I can read pretty well for my age. I thought I could teach the children various things too….”
“Go ahead. It sounds like you’ve wanted to go for quite a while.”
“Yes!”
“But what would you have done if I’d kicked you out?”
At that, I scratched my head again.
“I was planning to at least ask you to let me stay for a while. I felt like you, Your Grace the Grand Duke, would grant at least that much.”
“And what makes you so sure?”
“Because you told them to bring me from the temple. I heard that not just anyone receives a blessing. So….”
At my words, the Duke smiled more brightly than ever. As if he were genuinely amused.
“You’re a truly strange child. You’re smart, aren’t you? That’s right. I want my children to continue receiving blessings. That’s why I had been thinking of keeping you by their side.”
What a relief. I’d been worried that I was just making another unfounded assumption.
“I dislike children.”
“Yes?”
“They’re foolish, selfish, and busy throwing tantrums. But you are a bit different. You’ll do.”
“For what?”
“To be the children’s friend. Your status is a bit of a concern, but you’re smart enough to overcome that status. Get along well with my children.”
It was the first time. The first time he had acknowledged me to this extent. My heart started pounding wildly.
“Yes…!”
“Then I’ll take my leave. If you need anything, let me know. I’ll assign a knight to you separately.”
“A knight for me?”
“If you’re going to stay here, you should at least have one pair of hands and feet at your disposal.”
I nodded vigorously. Compared to before, this was nothing short of a dramatic change.
With that, the Grand Duke left, and Rohen, after hesitating, came over to my side.
“Con…gratulations.”
“Why are you being so shy?”
“…Because I’m sorry.
