Chapter 41 ….
“I always wished I had an older sister.”
Sejin, who was still an elementary school student, fiddled with the worn-out doll resting on her lap as she murmured softly.
“I don’t really have many friends.”
Our parents had left Sejin and me in the car to go buy snacks, and even though they hadn’t gone far, they kept turning back to look at us.
“They worry a lot—about me getting lost or getting into an accident or something. Our family is kind of… complicated.”
Even families that looked harmonious on the outside seemed to have their own problems. Still, Sejin, sitting beside me, was such an adorable, lovable child.
At the time, I didn’t yet know that I had been adopted to replace a daughter who had gone missing.
When their child first disappeared, our parents hadn’t even filed a missing person report with the police. They tried to resolve it on their own.
They followed the kidnapper’s instructions and left a large sum of money at the designated location, but in the end, they never got to see the child again.
Eventually, they cut off contact with everyone and lived in isolation.
Sejin was born when they finally accepted that they would never find their child again.
They had another daughter, but because of the trauma left behind, our parents hardly ever let Sejin leave the house. It was an environment that inevitably made her withdrawn.
“It’s been such a long time since I’ve ridden in a car like this. I think it’s all thanks to you, unni.”
Sejin glanced at our parents through the car window, then squeezed the ears of her old rabbit doll with a pleased expression.
“I like you, unni. I really want to get along well with you. I mean it.”
Her round, clear eyes rolled about before she finally dropped her head.
“Even if I get annoying or clingy sometimes, please understand. I don’t really know how to… get close to people.”
Sehee gave her younger sister a faint smile.
“You waited well, didn’t you? The line was unbelievably long.”
Shivering as they opened the front doors in the cold weather, our parents spoke. Sejin nodded and hugged her doll even tighter.
Sejin was a genuinely kind child.
She clammed up in front of strangers, but when she was with her family, there was no one more playful or innocent than her.
She showed not even a hint of trying to compete with me or subtly drive a wedge between us.
Knowing that, I tried to be all the more careful.
I made sure not to steal the attention, glances, or praise that should have gone to Sejin.
I even deliberately created a scar under my eye and wore glasses.
Because I didn’t want to ruin the first perfect family I had ever had.
That was how I lived an entirely new life.
“So you’re Sehee. We hadn’t heard from you for quite some time, so we thought we’d lost you.”
Facing a neighbor we hadn’t seen in ages, our parents smiled quietly.
“That really could have turned into something terrible back then.”
It was around then that I learned about the past—about the missing daughter named Sehee.
I didn’t feel resentful. I just wanted to become someone worthy and fill that empty space somehow.
So I wouldn’t disappoint them. So I wouldn’t be abandoned if I let my guard down. I tried desperately in every way I could.
Like a puppy that had been returned multiple times, I always read the room and found things to do on my own.
I thought that happiness would last forever.
As long as I tried hard enough. As long as I did my best not to fall out of favor.
“So stop doing pointless things and live your own life….”
My father’s hoarse voice suddenly echoed in my ears. It felt as though Sejin’s resentful wails overlapped with it.
“This is all because of you. You ruined everything. What on earth did you do?! Bring Dad back—bring our dad back!”
Hng—!
Sehee suddenly regained consciousness and blinked. The cold floor came into focus through her blurred vision.
She had passed out after days of thrashing about and screaming, refusing both food and medicine.
“Haa.”
Hot tears streamed from Sehee’s eyes as she fully returned to reality.
Even when her mother had died in a sudden accident, her chest hadn’t hurt this much.
Because that hadn’t been her fault.
Even if she could meet Sejin again, she no longer had the face to look her in the eye.
“Please, at least let us hold a funeral.”
Clinging to Chai Do, she had forcibly set out a simple photograph and flowers. Then she shut herself away here for days without moving an inch.
She had tried so hard to protect her last family.
Now it felt as though every place she could return to had disappeared. She couldn’t eat properly, couldn’t sleep.
It felt like everything was her fault.
“How is her condition?”
Footsteps cutting through the cold corridor drew closer. She heard the servants who had gone to fetch Chai Do returning to the room.
“She hasn’t slept at all, and then suddenly she shoved the tray away and—”
The half-open door was flung wide, letting a faint light spill into the dark room.
Chai Do entered and looked down at her feet. Around Sehee, dressed in black mourning clothes, lay an untouched bowl of porridge overturned on the floor.
“Ha.”
A low, irritated sigh escaped between his teeth. Feeling his cold gaze sweep over her only made her insides burn hotter.
“Clean it up carefully. Make sure there aren’t any broken pieces.”
At Chai Do’s instruction, the hesitant servants moved in unison. Chai Do himself bent down casually and set upright the fallen IV bag and stand.
Her body trembled as if seized by chills, her heart pounding irregularly. The image of her father’s eyes—looking at her with what seemed like disappointment—kept resurfacing.
“If anything happens, go to the villa and wait.”
Even to the very end, her father had only worried about her safety.
What must he have felt when he heard that the daughter he had cherished so dearly had married Chai Do and come to love him?
The one who had caused her father the greatest pain wasn’t Chai Do—it was her.
He had given up his life to protect her, a daughter he hadn’t even known was his own. Thinking about that, she could never forgive herself.
“…Madam!”
The servants’ shouts echoed.
Without hesitation, Sehee tore away the gauze covering her wounds and scratched her face and arms mercilessly, as if self-harming.
What Chai Do couldn’t tolerate the most was damage to his prized possessions. A face resembling Lee Haesu being ruined beyond recognition.
She hoped that if he saw her hideous face like this, his affection would finally fade. She couldn’t stand Chai Do treating her kindly anymore. She despised herself for ever laughing and chatting with him.
If she hadn’t resembled Lee Haesu, she never would have married Chai Do.
Everything was her own doing….
“Yoo Sehee!”
Chai Do grabbed her arm and yanked her upright.
“Stop it.”
For the first time, the look in Chai Do’s eyes—so composed until now—shifted subtly.
“You need to stop.”
Forced to meet his gaze, Sehee’s trembling eyes drifted to the faint scar above his straight, well-shaped eyebrow.
Why had she ever trusted him?
Why had she believed he wasn’t as bad a person as her father had said? That no matter what, he would keep his promise and save Yoo Hyeongjin?
“Ugh….”
A weak sob burst out. She no longer had the strength to stand on her own.
“Dad died because of me. Because of me….”
She didn’t want to swallow medicine and food just to go on living alone. She couldn’t keep living like this. She couldn’t stay comfortably in Chai Do’s arms, enjoying what he provided.
“He died trying to save me. What did he say at the end? What did you threaten him with?! You said you’d save him! You promised…!”
He seemed utterly incapable of understanding why she was suffering. He was a man who moved solely by calculation, someone who didn’t understand emotions.
“Get some sleep. Everything will feel better after that.”
“…No.”
Sehee shook her head violently. She couldn’t calmly go to sleep in this situation.
“Then I’ll have to put you to sleep by force.”
By what means was he planning to force her to sleep?
“No, I won’t take the medicine—”
Chai Do lifted Sehee effortlessly and headed straight for the bed. Understanding his intent, the servants gathered the tray and left the room on their own.
As Sehee’s sluggish thoughts caught up, her eyes widened in horror.
“No. I don’t want to sleep. Let go…! Dad….”
There was only one way Chai Do could force her to sleep. Memories flooded back—of being pinned beneath him, reaching dizzying climaxes again and again before collapsing into darkness.
“I don’t want to sleep. Dreams….”
She struggled with all her might. Every time she closed her eyes, she felt as though she would see her father again, his face half destroyed.
“In my dreams….”
No. Holding the thrashing Sehee, Chai Do forcibly laid her down on the bed.
“Hng… no….”
There had always been a difference in their physical strength, but after days without eating, she couldn’t muster any force at all. She could only weakly accept the hands pulling at her sweat-soaked clothes.
Stop….
She knew how this would end. She would reach her limit, moan helplessly, and at some point fall into a pitch-black sleep.
She would beg and cling, faithfully obeying her instincts.
She couldn’t endure that humiliation again. Not long after losing her father, she absolutely did not want to share a bed with the man who was responsible.
Chai Do knew better than anyone how to reduce a person to misery—how to drive them into despair and make them suffer the worst kind of pain.
With what little strength she had, she pushed at his shoulders and arms. She hadn’t taken her contraceptive pills for days. She flailed her hands wildly, but Chai Do did not stop.
