Chapter 01
There are four rules to a failed game.
First, only the BGM is ridiculously good.
Second, they release tons of kits—random item boxes—to squeeze out money until the very end.
Third, they keep reusing the same event over and over, just changing the name, like boiling the same bone broth again and again.
Fourth, there is a hardcore group of users who keep shouting “dead game, dead game,” while still playing it.
I was a hardcore user of a game that perfectly fit all these conditions.
People called it a dead game, but thanks to players like me who spent a lot of money on it, the game was still barely surviving.
Still, if no new players joined, the game would eventually die.
“I hope the new team leader they hired this time is at least decent.”
They said they were holding some event to celebrate his appointment.
Thinking that, I stepped into the plaza.
Whisper (HealerBoyfriend): So it’s the main DPS who messed up the gimmick. Why are you blaming my girlfriend?
A whisper popped up. It was from someone who had just been in a top-tier dungeon raid with me.
The raid had fallen apart because of some couple drama. If you already left after saying “good job,” then just keep your mouth shut!
< Whisper (Uni): In the first place, it makes no sense to pass a healer’s gimmick to you and tell you to handle it.
Whisper (HealerBoyfriend): My girlfriend said she’s tired ㅡㅡ
Ah, I see…
< Whisper (Uni): Then please run raids with just your girlfriend. Thanks, 20000.
What kind of weirdo is this?
I immediately blocked the guy called HealerBoyfriend.
The last trait of a dead game:
The people doing end content all somehow know each other, so a lot of them act shamelessly.
Ugh.
“The beginner village plaza used to be packed.”
Now it was completely empty.
Back when this game was famous, it was hard to even do quests.
There were so many people crowding around quest NPCs that you could barely click on them.
But now, it was deserted.
“Wow. Totally a dead game.”
I said that while opening the cash shop window.
So what was today’s event again?
Probably another recycled event from a year ago.
[For the one who has loved Uneria, we are giving a special gift to only one person!]
“Special gift? Not another random kit, right?”
Without any expectations, I scrolled down.
[Red Orb item given to the top 1% of users by cash purchase amount!
Among those holding the Red Orb, only one person will be selected by lottery and given an unprecedented opportunity in gaming history!]
“Top 1% by cash purchase?”
Now that, I was confident about.
Of course, this event had a flaw.
When I scrolled further, I saw the free board already filled with people thinking the same thing.
[Uneria >> Free Board]
[Title: So only one person among the 1% gets it, right?
Writer: ㅇㅇ
A true whale competition lol]
[(Comments) NeriaPleaseDie: So what’s the special gift?
└ㅇㅇ: No idea
└NeriaPleaseDie: If it’s something like a 2x EXP orb, I’m seriously throwing hands
StillPlayingThis: I probably paid for ten windows at YourMoneyGames headquarters. They should give it to me.]
“Ten windows?”
I snorted.
I probably paid for an entire wall of the YourMoneyGames building.
Honestly, if YourMoneyGames had any brains, instead of a lottery among the top 1%, they should just give the gift to the person who spent the most—to keep them loyal.
“So what’s the gift anyway?”
No matter how much I searched the event page, it didn’t say what it was.
“They’re going to get cursed out again when it turns out to be nothing special.”
I already knew this pattern too well.
Chin resting on my hand, I browsed the Uneria communities.
Everyone was busy posting proof of how much money they had spent.
[Proof of cash purchase amount…jpg]
But the real whales never show proof.
Whisper (Airi): Uni, did you see the event? I think I might win this.
A whisper notification rang.
My nickname, Uni, stood out clearly.
It was Airi, who had drunkenly spent a ton of money in the game last night.
< Whisper (Uni): You bought all that game money from other players lol. Player-to-player trades probably don’t count.
Whisper (Airi): Busted; Aren’t you the one who might win? How much did you spend last month?
I ignored Airi’s whisper.
At that moment, the screen froze for a second and the BGM cut off.
“Ugh, lag again.”
Ever since the upstairs apartment started construction, the lag had gotten worse.
Whisper (Airi): Some guy in the event comments is bragging that he paid for ten windows.
< Whisper (Uni): I probably paid for one whole wall at YourMoneyGames headquarters;
< Whisper (Uni): If he gets it, I’m tearing down that wall I paid for before the service shuts down.
Airi’s laughter flooded the chat window.
Since I had already maxed out my skills and had nothing to do, I wandered around the village.
“Huh?”
After walking around for a while, I noticed a character pass by me again.
He seemed to really like black. Black hair, black uniform.
At first glance, he looked like a total newbie. If he was heading that way…
“Ah, is he doing the main scenario quest?”
I flew up into the sky and observed him.
If I followed him too closely, it would be awkward for both of us.
After rising high enough that he looked like a dot, I right-clicked to inspect him.
“Why is he wearing that there?”
Uneria had two equipment tabs: Outerwear and Innerwear.
Innerwear didn’t literally mean underwear. It meant the gear hidden under your outer clothes.
In short, you were supposed to equip ugly but high-stat gear in the Innerwear tab, and wear cool outfits like that uniform in the Outerwear tab.
But he clearly didn’t know that.
He had put the uniform in the Innerwear slot.
“If he gets hit by monsters like that, he’s dead… What is he doing?”
The so-called “Innerwear Uniform Guy” was circling the same area for the third time.
Looking closer, I realized why.
This dungeon required entering through a side path, but some jerk was blocking the way, pretending to be AFK.
“There are barely any newbies left in this game, and you’re going to make him quit like that?!”
I dived down and landed in front of the blocker.
“!”
The guy flinched.
“Excuse me. Why are you blocking the path?”
“……”
No answer.
“Hello?”
“……”
“Hey?”
He was obviously pretending to be AFK.
I stepped back and opened my skill window.
“There’s a skill perfect for this.”
Most players wouldn’t even learn this skill. But any true veteran of this game had it.
[Collar Grab!]
My character’s right hand glowed. I clicked the robed guy and threw him far away.
Mr. Robe flew across the field and crashed into a hill.
Collar Grab was considered too violent and had been made unlearnable five years ago.
“Where did that guy go?”
I looked around quickly.
There he was, making his fourth lap.
His nickname was…
“Mr. Ned!”
The black figure stopped abruptly.
Newbies who weren’t used to moving the camera often reacted like that when someone called their name.
They saw their nickname in chat but couldn’t find where the voice was coming from.
“I’m down the hill.”
“Oh.”
Before I could stop him, Ned jumped down toward me.
Oh no, if you jump like that, the fall damage—
[-89]
His HP bar dropped to near death.
I knew it.
After I healed him, he made a grateful gesture.
“You can enter the dungeon from here…”
I checked his equipment again.
Was that just a single sword?
Most newbies carried every weapon they owned because their inventory space was small.
With just that sword, he wouldn’t clear this dungeon.
This dungeon was famous for being Uneria’s entry barrier.
It was a solo-only dungeon, and it was full of monsters that used long-range magic attacks.
If you went in with just a sword without knowing anything, you were basically asking to die.
“Excuse me, do you have a bow?”
I asked just in case.
When I spoke up close, Ned raised his head.
Gasp.
I turned the camera and zoomed in.
From far away, I thought he was just a black stick.
How rude of me.
I’m sorry!
Sorry for calling you Innerwear Uniform Guy!
How could someone make such a handsome male character in this outdated Uneria model?
Uneria was even rumored to have abandoned male character designs.
There were hundreds of choices for hair, eyes, mouth, jaw, and skin color.
But none of them were good-looking.
And yet he found a gem among them.
Totally my type.
After admiring him for a moment, I snapped back to my senses.
“There are a lot of long-range monsters in here, so if you only take a sword, you’ll die. Do you want to take this at least?”
I opened my inventory and tried to drop a bow on the ground.
But the bow was still in my inventory.
“Huh?”
When I closed the inventory, I saw Ned picking up a Red Orb from the ground.
Wait, that was the damn event item!
I opened my inventory again in shock.
Why would the developers make it possible to drop the event item?!
“Ah, I have one too.”
Ned’s reaction was suspicious.
“Eh?”
Before I could say anything, Ned dropped two Red Orbs.
One was obviously mine.
The other one…
“…Wow, you spent a lot of money.”
A newbie at this dungeon was in the top 1% of spending?
That was no ordinary spending spree!
Even if he had a sub-character, he wouldn’t be lost here.
“Is it okay to throw this away?”
“No, it’s not!”
I quickly gestured at the Red Orb.
“Pick it back up!”
After I picked up mine, I explained the event to him.
He seemed to understand and nodded.
“The winner will be announced tonight, right?”
“Yes.”
That’s what the boring event window had said.
I put the Red Orb safely back in my inventory and took out the bow again.
It wasn’t an expensive item, so using the trade system was annoying.
“You can take this and go in.”
It was junk to me, but to a newbie, it was basically Excalibur.
Even if he just tapped monsters with it instead of shooting arrows, they would probably die in one hit.
“Thank you. I don’t know if I should accept something like this…”
There was a simple way to stop that kind of polite worry.
Instead of answering, I took out several more of the same bow and dropped them on the ground.
I have plenty. Taking one won’t even show.
“Ah… thank you. I’ll return it later.”
He didn’t need to, but I nodded anyway.
“Enjoy Uneria.”
Enjoy, enjoy~
I waved my hand, and Ned disappeared into the dungeon.
“Wow, it’s been a while since I saw such an adorable newbie.”
Of course, the nosebleed was because of his appearance.
“Uneria isn’t dead yet!”
I opened my inventory again to check the Red Orb.
But it looked slightly different from before…
Did it change earlier?
“Whatever. As long as I have the Red Orb, that’s what matters.”
Without knowing that a few hours later I would be screaming while watching my past self like in a meme scene, I cheerfully left the area.
