Chapter 55
The next day, Ji-hyeon returned to Moa’s dorm, which had grown quiet because the members were out on a group schedule.
So this is… the place where Ahn Ji-hyeon used to live.
It was an apartment not far from where Ji-hyeon had originally stayed. The dorm she had vaguely seen in Moa’s old self-produced content now spread out before her eyes.
Pretty accessories lined the hallway, and the floor-to-ceiling transparent glass windows, through which the river could be seen directly below, made her keenly aware of both the height—thirty floors up—and the scenery.
That wasn’t all. The clean marble floors, the large TV placed in the center of the living room, and even the fact that there were as many rooms prepared as there were members, suggesting that each member used a separate room.
It was a moment that made her realize anew just how incredible a group Moa was—and, by contrast, how poor the conditions Mate had been.
Mate too… will be able to live like this soon.
A-young, fighting.
Having steeled her resolve like that, Ji-hyeon reread the message Seong-han had sent.
The members had gone to get their makeup done for the schedule at four o’clock today, and were expected to return around six.
The current time was two o’clock. That meant Ji-hyeon had about four hours to spare.
Since no one was around, she needed to quickly find the diary—but she wasn’t sure whether she’d be able to find it within that time.
Even if I can’t, I still have to try.
Ji-hyeon first carefully entered the room that looked the nicest.
As she went in, she didn’t forget to take a photo of the room, so it would look as though she hadn’t entered it. It could belong to another member, after all.
And sure enough, the moment she opened the door, the scene that unfolded was one that anyone would guess belonged to the youngest, Yeseo—or Ichika, who wasn’t much older than her.
Ji-hyeon was about to leave right away, when she suddenly stopped upon seeing the photos of herself attached to the desk.
Seeing that the dates and types of the photos were neatly written in Korean, it seemed to be Yeseo’s room rather than Ichika’s.
Yeseo really… does like her unni.
It made her feel, once again, the sincerity behind Yeseo’s words she’d said here and there—“My role model is Ji-hyeon unni.”
To the extent that she was decorating a diary at her desk, and what she had scattered all over it, claiming to decorate it, were Ji-hyeon’s photos, photo cards, stickers—goods like that.
In a way, she had achieved her dream, and that feeling hadn’t faded even now—how happy must Yeseo have been. And after entering into a relationship like this, how anxious and sad must she have felt.
So that’s why she looked so regretful last time, came to find me, and even wrote a letter.
Only now did Ji-hyeon understand the actions of Yeseo that had seemed almost stubborn.
Feeling newly touched and proud of Yeseo, Ji-hyeon realized she didn’t have much time to be standing around like this.
Before six o’clock, she had to find Ji-hyeon’s diary and search this wide house from top to bottom.
Turning immediately toward another room, the next place that caught Ji-hyeon’s eye was neat and tidy.
Unlike Yeseo’s room, there weren’t any personal photos or things like that stuck up.
Because of that, she wondered if it might be Ji-hyeon’s room—but judging from the name tags visible here and there, and various items with names written on them, it seemed to be Gyeoul’s.
Where on earth is Ji-hyeon’s room?
How many minutes had she already spent without finding it?
With a growing sense of urgency, Ji-hyeon hurried out of Gyeoul’s room—then suddenly stopped, as if struck by a thought.
She didn’t know exactly why, but it felt like she shouldn’t leave like this.
She had an inexplicable certainty that there was something here.
And that certainty became reality when Ji-hyeon, having turned back, saw a blue notebook.
This looks like a diary too.
Seeing the dense handwriting filling the thick notebook, Ji-hyeon carefully turned the pages one by one.
She was afraid Gyeoul might suddenly pop out from behind her, but her eyes were already stolen by the words inside the notebook, moving busily across them.
These days, as we prepare for debut, Ji-hyeon unni is working really hard. Even back in our trainee days, I thought she was an amazing unni in the middle of all that, and since she was always the leader as a trainee, I thought it was only natural that she’d be the leader when we debuted too.
Sure enough, once Ji-hyeon unni became the leader, it’s obvious how hard she works—and maybe because of that, it’s really exhausting.
Of course, I’m not complaining. I’m so happy that I get to debut together with Ji-hyeon unni.
Honestly, even during our trainee days, I used to think about what it would feel like to debut together with that person.
But actually, today I wanted to skip practice a bit, so I pretended to be sick on purpose.
I feel sorry toward unni, so tomorrow I should practice a bit harder.]
This is from our trainee days—or no, right before debut.
Up to this point, Ji-hyeon could more or less guess what their relationship had been like, even if she hadn’t known the details.
Just as written in the diary, the relationship between Ji-hyeon and Gyeoul hadn’t been broken from the start. No—if anything, it looked modestly happy.
The next page, and the page after that as well, were filled only with Gyeoul’s simple happiness about being able to be with Ji-hyeon.
Just like A-young and Ji-hyeon, there were small, cute entries—how delicious it was when they all went to eat tteokbokki after practice, or how unbelievably happy she was when they secretly ordered chicken.
As the dates went by, the other Moa members gradually began to appear in the diary as well.
How adorable the youngest, Ichika, was; how nice it was that Jian understood what she was saying.
But among all of them, the one who overwhelmingly took up the largest share was Ji-hyeon.
When you think about it, that makes sense.
Even just looking at Mate, you could tell how much the members relied on the presence of the mature Hye-yeon. A-young trusted and followed Hye-yeon, the leader, even more than her own family.
And if that was the case with Hye-yeon, what about Ahn Ji-hyeon?
It was understandable—and yet, because of that, even harder to understand. Why had things gone so wrong between Ahn Ji-hyeon and the members?
I think I need to look at what happened after debut, not before.
Ji-hyeon began flipping through the pages she grabbed, one after another.
Just how much further do I have to go…
Only a few pages were left in the diary now.
By this point, whatever was going to come out should appear soon.
It was right when she thought that—
These days, Ji-hyeon unni’s behavior is strange.]
Something on one page of the diary she’d been flipping through caught Ji-hyeon’s eye.
Unable to simply pass by a sentence like that, Ji-hyeon flipped back through the pages with a rustle, fixed her thumb on the spot where the sentence was, and began reading.
These days, Ji-hyeon unni’s behavior is strange.
The song was a huge hit. Honestly, I never imagined it would do this well, so I’m completely stunned.]
That day’s diary entry was unusually long. Looking at the date, it seemed to be from around the time of Moa’s third promotional title track after debut, <Day After>.
That song was… well.
There was no need to say anything. A sensational debut.
After that, they quickly pulled forward a comeback, successfully wrapping up their second comeback before the heat of their debut had even cooled.
Then, to solidify their fandom and public appeal, they ambitiously prepared a song by holding a massive songwriting camp with outstanding composers.
The result of that was <Day After>, a song that came to be evaluated as one of the biggest hits in the history of Korean girl group songs.
From this period on, Moa was said to have risen to a level of top idols incomparable to anyone else, firmly imprinting their image on the public.
And since Gyeoul—practically no different from the second most popular member—also began to receive enormous attention along with her popularity from this time, it was only natural to feel stunned.
And beneath that dreamlike moment of achieving money, fame, and everything they’d wished for, it seemed the seeds of anxiety had slowly begun to sprout.
[She’s been going out somewhere late at night and not coming back a lot. When I ask what she was doing, she won’t answer.
Ji-hyeon unni looks like she’s having a really hard time mentally, but since she won’t tell me what’s going on, I can’t even comfort her.
Unni just smiles and says that all we have to do is work hard.
So I trusted her. That must be the attitude—the duty—one should have toward a leader who’s leading the group to success.
So I’ll trust unni a little more.
Even though unni isn’t telling us everything yet, I’m hoping that someday she’ll tell us something…]
