Chapter 69 …
Arte’s face flushed bright red.
Lately, the casual remarks Dimion tossed out had begun to hit her especially hard.
Sometimes she even found herself thinking it had been easier to deal with him back when he used to pressure her relentlessly.
The softened atmosphere around Dimion was far more dangerous. He made excellent use of his handsome face—so striking that one could stare at it in a daze—and his low voice that seemed capable of melting everything.
Whenever Dimion approached her like this, Arte had no choice but to raise both hands in surrender.
“Ah, but….”
“Why?”
Just as she opened the book to begin reading aloud, Arte ran into an unexpected problem.
“I can’t hold your hand. I’m holding the book with one hand, and I can’t turn the pages at the same time… What should we do?”
It was a serious concern. After all, the whole point of this was to help Dimion fall asleep—and he was someone who could only sleep when he felt warmth. If there was no way for their body heat to touch, it was only natural to worry.
But the person actually struggling with insomnia burst out laughing the moment he heard her.
It was the loudest laugh Arte had ever heard from him, and the most innocent smile she had ever seen.
She wanted to protest and ask why he was laughing when she was being serious, but the sight of him laughing like this felt so unfamiliar that she could only stare blankly.
He was always someone who radiated intimidation—sometimes even frighteningly cold.
Yet here he was, laughing so brightly.
It was fascinating. And the way he looked while laughing was so beautiful that she wanted to keep looking at him for a long time. From a painter’s perspective, it was so stunning she wanted to run straight to an easel and capture it on canvas.
“Hold my hand after you finish reading.”
After finally calming his laughter, Dimion offered a compromise.
Could he really fall asleep just by listening to a gripping novel, without the warmth he usually used like a sleeping pill?
A worried question passed through Arte’s mind.
But there was no other option. If it didn’t work, she could simply close the book and hold his hand again, just like he said.
Arte let out a soft sigh and calmly read the first paragraph.
“Collapse. It was a collapse. The moment Isis saw Calypso fall, bleeding, she was seized by a strange feeling as though the world had stopped.”
The awkwardness she felt at first didn’t last long.
Before she knew it, Arte became completely absorbed in the reading.
She had already read the book before. Yet reading it aloud felt entirely different.
The problem was that she briefly forgot about the person she was supposed to be paying attention to—Dimion.
She became so immersed that she forgot to check whether he was showing any signs of falling asleep.
It was only after quite some time had passed since she began reading that she realized Dimion hadn’t even closed his eyes and was simply watching her.
“…This won’t do. Let’s stop here for today. What if we end up staying up all night together?”
In the end, Arte closed the book. Dimion suggested she read a little more, but she firmly rejected the idea.
Instead, she carefully lay down beside him and, even more carefully, clasped his hand.
Even though she should have been used to it by now, holding Dimion’s hand still made her tremble slightly.
“Close your eyes quickly. That’s how you fall asleep.”
Dimion didn’t close his eyes.
Instead, he stared straight at Arte, his gaze holding the faint glow of moonlight.
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to bombard you with questions. Even just the part I read earlier—I have so many things I want to talk about. So hurry up and sleep before I start bothering you.”
She thought it was quite a clever threat. Falling asleep was surely better than enduring a flood of questions late at night.
But Dimion only looked at her as if telling her to go ahead.
“You really want me to? You’ll answer if I ask?”
“Yeah. Go ahead.”
It was a strange night.
Usually, once she held his hand, he would fall asleep quickly.
But tonight Dimion seemed almost stubbornly contrary.
In that case, there was only one method left.
She would have to pour out the question she had been holding in her heart.
If she did, Dimion would surely grow tired of answering and eventually close his eyes.
“You know the scene where Isis debates with the priest? The part where they talk about whether anything eternal exists. Which side are you on, Your Grace?”
It was quite a philosophical question—but it was part of Arte’s strategy. She needed to start with questions that couldn’t be answered lightly so that he’d feel a sense of urgency about not being able to sleep.
“You go first. Which side are you on?”
“I’m with Isis. I don’t think anything is eternal. Everything changes little by little.”
Arte had always been firm about her view of “eternity.”
It was a concept close to an illusion.
Nothing transcended time unchanged.
Science or truth might qualify. The earth would always be round, and the sun would always rise in the east and set in the west.
But that was all.
Emotions like love and friendship—the ones people swore about every day—couldn’t be called eternal.
Everything changed.
Nothing existed forever at the same temperature, and nothing stayed forever without fading.
“Whenever I say things like this, Martha—who used to be my maid—always presses her hand to her forehead. She says I have no romance at all.”
“That is a bit dry.”
“But it’s the truth. That’s why things like eternal love or vows—I don’t believe in any of—”
She couldn’t finish the sentence.
Because Feria suddenly came to mind.
It had been a question she threw out without much thought. She had only chosen something philosophical to make him fall asleep faster—she swore it had no other meaning.
But now she worried that the question, and her firm answer, might sound like she was denying Dimion—who still hadn’t forgotten Feria.
“Ah, I mean, so….”
She tried to fix it belatedly, but her mind went blank.
She couldn’t think of how to explain herself.
“I used to think the same.”
Unlike Arte’s worry, Dimion remained calm.
“I didn’t believe it either.”
“But after experiencing it… I realized there are things that exist.”
His pale green eyes, touching hers, slowly sank.
“There are things time can’t erode, Arte.”
“……”
“Things so eternal that sometimes you wish they would just wear away… because they hurt too much.”
There was no need to ask what—or who—he was thinking about.
She had never seen that expression before.
It was unbearably bitter, unbearably sorrowful.
Facing a face covered with loss and regret hurt far more than Arte had expected.
Her chest throbbed painfully.
For the first time, she truly felt the weight of the pain Dimion was carrying. So much so that she immediately reconsidered her belief—perhaps for some people, there really were emotions that could never be shed.
Arte abandoned her plan to bombard him with questions.
Instead, she reached out and gently covered his eyes.
An alarm rang in her mind.
Don’t empathize with Dimion’s emotions any further.
Don’t peer any deeper into his abyss.
If she did—
an unexpected wave of emotion would crash over her.
“If I keep asking questions like this, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. Let’s stop and go to sleep.”
Contrary to her worries, Dimion obediently followed her words.
But even after he fell asleep leaning against her warmth,
Arte couldn’t fall asleep.
Sleep simply wouldn’t come.
Dimion’s expression lingered before her eyes, and his words echoed in her ears.
“Why on earth did I ask that?”
Arte truly regretted it.
The day after staying up all night, and the next day, and the day after that—even then, the image of Dimion hadn’t faded.
She had believed that once new conversations piled up between them and time passed, she would forget quickly.
But instead, the more time passed, the more she found herself replaying the expression she had seen that night.
The more she thought about it, the more curious she became.
What kind of love had he experienced to make such a face?
How deeply had he held someone in his heart that he still couldn’t move on from that loss?
Things she had never wondered about, even right after entering the mansion as a “doll,” kept turning into questions that troubled her.
She also found herself increasingly wanting to know about the person named Feria.
What kind of person could make such an incredible man feel so desperately?
What did it feel like to receive such enormous love? He must have been much kinder. He probably smiled like a child more often too.
Even to Arte—who meant nothing to him—he was quite kind.
In fact, he had been growing kinder as time passed. So much so that the frequency of her face heating up had increased noticeably.
So if it were a woman he truly loved, he must have been far more affectionate and warm than he was with Arte.
In the past, she couldn’t even imagine what he might have been like.
But these days, she could vaguely picture it.
It must have felt nice… to receive that kind of love… Wait. What am I thinking?
Startled, Arte slapped her cheeks with both hands.
Feeling jealous of Feria—even subconsciously—was absurd.
“Oh my. Lady, are you alright?”
“Ah—yes, I’m fine. What is it?”
“Lieutenant Mylus has sent flowers again, so I brought them.”
