Chapter 58
Rose was startled as she listened to Haven speak and glanced at Flita. Her expression seemed worried, as if she feared Flita might mishear and misunderstand in her sleep. Watching that quietly, Haven lowered his voice slightly and continued speaking.
“That means they’ll misunderstand and treat Flita even more recklessly from now on.”
“I…”
“On the other hand, if I reward you greatly, others will take Flita’s safety more seriously as well.”
“…”
Rose remained silent. She had closely observed what life was like for a child without a mother—or rather, a child without a noble mother. Because she was the daughter of a duke, people called her “Princess” and treated her respectfully. Yet at the same time, she could hear whispers about her being the offspring of a lowborn mother. Even the nannies sometimes treated Flita carelessly.
“Your Highness… do you already know?”
Rose asked Haven again. He raised one eyebrow, as if to ask what she meant, and gently cupped the child’s ear in his palm, speaking very softly.
“The things people say about the princess.”
“…What do they say?”
“You seem to already know. Isn’t that why you told me that?”
If the princess’s status were secure, there would be no need for such discussions. Whether or not a mere servant saved the princess’s life wouldn’t change how people treated her.
In other words, Haven’s words were based on Flita’s incomplete social standing. Rose wanted to tell him that.
“If you know, then why…”
“What more should I do?”
Haven asked Rose. His green eyes wavered. He looked down at the child and spoke.
“This child is my only child. I acknowledged and accepted that. What more could I possibly do?”
“Regarding those who treat the princess carelessly…”
“Punish them? Do you think punishing them will change the fact that Flita’s mother came from humble origins? Will it erase the fact that she’s illegitimate?”
Haven’s voice grew heavier. His blue eyes twisted as he looked at the child.
“Those dirty words about this child’s bloodline will never disappear.”
“…Your Highness.”
“She’s too young to understand now, but when she grows older… when she learns more about my birth, she’ll be even more hurt. Should I keep punishing people to protect her every time? Should I turn her into a fool who can’t stand on her own?”
Haven diverted his gaze from the child to Rose. For some reason, his look carried a tinge of sorrow as he looked at her. Did she feel sympathy for a servant? He thought it was amusing but also, in a strange way, comforting.
“I admit I was an indifferent father. Honestly, it was hard to accept a child I barely remembered as my own at first.”
Perhaps that was why. He wanted to honestly reveal his feelings, his empty heart after losing his memories. A heart so cold he couldn’t fully embrace even his own daughter.
“Even when I saw Flita squirming alone in her crib, even when I heard her whimper, I didn’t feel like picking her up to comfort her. I even wondered if she was really my child.”
“…I even suspected the late queen might have played some trick on me.”
Haven didn’t go so far as to say that aloud. Even when being honest, he didn’t want to reveal everything—especially regarding the late queen, the woman who had been his brother’s wife. Not in front of Rose, at least.
“Would it have been different if I remembered even a little time spent with her?”
“…”
“Well, in the end, it’s just the excuse of a poor father who neglected his child.”
Haven chuckled dryly and shrugged. Rose listened quietly, then asked carefully.
“…You said you remembered, right? That you heard the voice?”
Referring to the conversation they had before, Haven nodded at Rose’s words and gave a bitter smile.
“It wasn’t long ago that I heard it… Yes, I think it started after you entered the Duke’s household.”
Indeed, that was true. Haven felt a strange sensation as he looked at her—the color of her eyes like the child’s, and the faintly wistful aura about her. Perhaps those qualities drew out fragments of memories hidden deep in his mind.
“…It must be a coincidence.”
“Of course, it’s a coincidence. Anyway, you’ll accept the reward. If you don’t want it, I’ll handle it myself.”
Haven shifted the topic again. Rose didn’t refuse; it would have been strange to refuse for Flita’s sake. Her chest merely felt heavier. She could sense the depth of loneliness he must have endured. Thinking of the emptiness in the heart of a man who lost his memories filled her with guilt.
After all, it was her who caused him to lose his memories—even if it had been forced by the late queen.
“By the way, the chief physician said there’s nothing to worry about.”
“…Yes?”
Rose refocused on Haven’s voice and looked at him.
“My arm was broken, but fortunately there are no other serious issues. You could even call it a miracle.”
“Ah… yes.”
She looked down at her broken arm. The splinted arm felt strangely unfamiliar. Watching her, Haven chuckled and scolded lightly.
“You didn’t need to nod so calmly, Rose. That could have been really bad.”
“…Well, I’m alive, anyway.”
Rose replied nonchalantly, thinking it didn’t matter. She was alive. Flita was safe. What else could matter?
Haven gave a wry smile and shook his head.
“You fuss over Flita when she’s even slightly ill, but pay no attention to yourself.”
“That’s not true.”
“Not true? I might believe you if you gained some flesh on that stick-thin body.”
He joked lightly and stood.
“Ah, I heard you’re naturally weak.”
“…!”
Rose’s calm expression faltered. She fumbled as if a huge secret had been revealed.
“Oh, that’s… well, I’ve been a bit tired lately…”
“Why act surprised that someone was born weak?”
Haven frowned at her overreaction. Avoiding his gaze, Rose lowered her eyes and spoke hesitantly.
“I… I was worried you might be displeased. How could someone who can’t take care of herself take care of the princess?”
“Enough. Hasn’t the person who can’t care for herself already saved Flita twice?”
Haven waved his hands, laughing. Rose suddenly looked at him, as if seeing someone from an old memory, her gaze filled with longing.
“…Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No, it’s just… I like seeing Your Highness smile comfortably.”
“…Smile comfortably?”
Haven unconsciously touched his mouth. Perhaps that loosened his expression.
The crackling of the fire reached his ears. The flames of the fireplace seemed to grow, warming him.
“Hmm, it’s late. Let’s sleep. You’ll recover better with rest.”
Haven changed the subject, flustered. Rose widened her eyes and spoke as if she had forgotten something.
“I need to return to my room.”
“Stay. Don’t move.”
He quickly blocked her as she tried to go under the bed, frowning.
“Sleep here.”
“But this is Your Highness’s room… why am I… here?”
She repeated her earlier question. Haven shrugged.
“You’re here because I brought you.”
“Y-You brought me?”
Rose’s eyes shifted down and noticed blood on the sleeve of his shirt, previously hidden in the dim light.
“Oh… I forgot to change my clothes.”
Haven, noticing her gaze, muttered awkwardly and stepped back. Yet she couldn’t look away.
Her gaze didn’t feel burdensome or unpleasant. Instead, it filled him with warmth and pride. He even wished she would continue looking at him like that…
‘Again… crazy thoughts.’
Haven frowned and shook his head, raising his hand toward her.
“Now, truly sleep. It’s very late.”
“But where will Your Highness sleep?”
“Well… the sofa is comfortable.”
“…Huh? How…”
Haven left the flustered Rose and went to the sofa, leaning back and folding his arms, closing his eyes. She could do nothing but fidget in the room.
After a while, Rose sighed quietly and rustled under the covers again. Haven, eyes closed, smiled faintly.
It wasn’t a perfect sleep.
Yet… it felt like the warmest, most peaceful night they had ever spent.
