Chapter 48
The healer started to speak, then furrowed his brow and changed the subject. It seemed he felt it inappropriate to say what he had in mind in front of a patient.
“Do your family members know you’ve come down with this illness?”
“…No.”
Roze forced the words out from her tightened throat. At her answer, the healer clicked his tongue and offered his advice.
“You should tell them as soon as possible. I understand how difficult it must be to find the words, but even so, shouldn’t you give your family time to say goodbye? If not, it may become a regret that haunts them.”
“I don’t have any family.”
Roze gave a bitter smile and shook her head. Her fingers were clenched so tightly around her skirt that her knuckles had turned white, the fabric wrinkled in her grasp.
“…I see.”
The healer’s expression faltered, as if he hadn’t expected that answer. Pity filled his gaze. But he didn’t ask for more details. To be that young and have no family—it surely meant there was a painful story behind it.
“In any case, I’ll prepare a remedy that will help ease the symptoms. Please wait here a moment.”
Removing the glasses perched on his nose, the healer stood up. Roze bowed her head in thanks and looked out the window. They said the festival would start tomorrow—maybe that was why everyone outside looked so lively.
…Time one could enjoy only while still alive.
Roze’s eyes grew wet as she gazed outside.
Why did that time have to be so cruel to her?
Why was it so generous to others yet refused to grant even half that time to her?
A surge of resentment rose in her chest. She wanted to curse the world, her fate—everything. Roze bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut.
“Mom!”
At that moment, a child’s clear voice rang out. Roze’s eyelids fluttered open with a tremble. She stood up as if possessed and rushed to the window.
‘Darling… Plita.’
Her green eyes searched desperately through the streets, seeking her child. Then she spotted a brown-haired girl running toward a woman.
“Mommy!”
“You’ll trip if you run like that!”
Even as she scolded the child, the woman quickly scooped her up in her arms. Watching them, Roze’s expression twisted. She turned away from the window in a panic, her breathing growing shallow.
“Hngh… ngh.”
She collapsed beneath the window. Now she could understand what Plita must have felt when she looked at the countess and her daughter. She could imagine how painful that envy and sorrow must have been for her child.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. How wretched it was that she couldn’t even appear before her daughter and say, “I’m your mother.” She felt unbearably sorry—for not being able to be her mother, for making her feel the absence of one, for leaving her to grow up so lonely.
“…I’m sorry, darling. Plita.”
Roze drew a deep breath, suppressing her sobs. Just as she began to calm herself, the healer returned with a pouch of medicine and rushed over.
“Did you have a seizure?”
“…No. I’m fine. Is that my medicine?”
Roze wiped her tear-streaked face and stood up. She took the medicine pouch and paid. Even after receiving the payment, the healer watched her with concern.
Roze turned away from his gaze and pulled her hood down as soon as she left the healer’s house. She had taken off her maid uniform and dressed in ordinary clothes before leaving, wary of being recognized. If word spread that one of the duke’s maids had an incurable illness, it could cause trouble.
If even a hint of her condition reached Heiban’s ears, she might be dismissed from the duchy at once. No noble would allow a sickly maid to remain at a young lady’s side.
She couldn’t be forced to leave her child’s side before her time ran out.
…Though even if she used up all the time she had left, it might only be six months.
She had thought one year was short—now it might not even be that.
And if she died before spending even that short time with Heiban and Plita, she wouldn’t be able to rest in peace.
‘I need to be careful. I’ll endure for as long as I can.’
Roze swallowed her sorrow and replaced it with a firm resolve. Just because she was dying didn’t mean she could spend her days in despair. She had to cherish the time she had.
“They must be waiting.”
Thinking of the child who was surely waiting for her, Roze quickened her pace back to the count’s estate. But after just a few steps, she came to a halt.
She suddenly remembered a maid saying there was a shop nearby that sold sweet desserts.
“Oh, that must be it.”
As she glanced around, her eyes landed on a quaint little shop. Even from the outside, it radiated sweetness.
A place a child would love.
Roze hurried toward Plita’s room. Though she had told her she’d be going out, the fact that she’d left her alone gnawed at her.
Of course, if needed, the count’s maids would assist Plita—but to the child, they were all strangers.
‘Still… she’ll like this, won’t she?’
Climbing the stairs, Roze glanced at the small box in her hand and smiled. Inside were cakes and cookies she thought Plita would enjoy. Some of them were festival specials shaped like bunnies and squirrels—Plita’s favorites.
She could picture her little girl, eyes sparkling, exclaiming in awe.
Roze’s smile deepened as she adjusted the box in her hands.
Thanks to one of the pills she’d taken before leaving the healer’s house, her body felt much better. The thought of showing her improved condition to the worried child lifted her spirits.
And if she stayed feeling like this, she could probably attend the festival tomorrow with no issues—holding Plita’s hand, alongside Heiban…
The moment she thought of him, someone appeared at the top of the stairs and started descending. He stopped a few steps up and called out to her.
“…Could it be… Roze?”
“…!”
Was it because she had just been thinking about him? Roze flinched in surprise and misstepped. Her balance faltered, and she tumbled backward.
She didn’t even have time to scream. All she saw was the man’s eyes widen as he reached for her.
Somewhere in her mind, she thought it was absurd. She’d gone to all that trouble to get medicine just so she could go to the festival with him—and now she was going to die by falling down the stairs, not from her illness?
“You could’ve gotten seriously hurt. You should always be careful when using the stairs!”
Just then, Heiban caught her by the arm and wrapped his other arm around her waist. In that short instant, he had leapt down several stairs to catch her.
The pounding of his heart thundered against her chest. Roze, stunned, remained in his arms for a moment before finally regaining her senses and trying to pull away.
“Y-Your Grace. I’m sor—”
“Trying to fall again?”
Heiban frowned and pulled her waist back into his arms. Roze lowered her head, realizing how foolish she had been to nearly stumble again in such a narrow spot.
Her face and neck flushed bright red. Heiban sighed and released her.
“…Thank you.”
Roze murmured, stepping aside. Heiban absently clenched and opened his hand, frowning.
She was far too light—lighter than even a child.
Still, it wasn’t his concern. It wasn’t like she couldn’t do her work. And if her health did prevent her from fulfilling her duties, the head maid or steward would surely let her go.
So there was no reason for him to care. And yet… for some reason, the way she looked—like she might be blown away by a gust of wind—bothered him.
Annoyed at himself, he changed the subject.
“So where were you coming from?”
His gaze landed on her hood. At first, it had been hard to recognize her, what with the hood pulled low over her head indoors. Anyone else might have mistaken her for someone suspicious.
If not for the way she had nearly fallen and her hood had slipped off in the process, he wouldn’t have known it was her. Whether that was fortunate or not, he wasn’t sure.
“Oh, um… I…”
He had asked without much thought—just to shift the awkward mood. He hadn’t expected a real answer.
But when she stammered and looked flustered, his eyes narrowed.
“…Roze?”
“Ah! I, um, was just out for a walk… around town.”
Roze avoided his gaze as she spoke haltingly. But her response only deepened the furrow in Heiban’s brow.
“Dressed like that?”
“…Pardon?”
“If you wanted to go out for a walk, couldn’t you have just gone? There was no need to pull your hood down like a criminal.”
At his words, Roze turned pale. She bit her lip, eyes wide with panic. It looked like she might burst into tears at any moment.
