Chapter 34
“…!”
Roze gasped sharply and opened her eyes. The first thing that came into view were her fingertips. Her hand, which had been flailing in the air, grasped nothing and simply flopped down onto the bed. It had been a loud, restless dream.
She gave a bitter smile and sat up, then immediately clutched her head in both hands. A stabbing headache tore through her skull, as if something sharp was digging into her brain.
“Ugh!”
With it came a wave of nausea. Roze quickly clamped a hand over her mouth and practically rolled off the bed. Grabbing an empty bowl placed on a small table beside her bed, she bent over.
“Ugh…!”
She hadn’t eaten much the day before, so only sour gastric juices came up. More precisely, it was gastric fluid tinged with blood.
“……”
She stared at the red-tinged fluid spreading at the bottom of the bowl and sank to the floor.
“…Already? No, it can’t be. That’s not possible. There’s still time left.”
Her face pale with fear, Roze mumbled to herself, her words stumbling as if gripped by terror.
A suffocating fear tightened her chest. She hadn’t forgotten. She wasn’t so dull as to forget how little time she had left. She had just been trying to ignore it, pretending not to see it.
Because otherwise, she’d be too scared, too terrified, unable to bear it.
Driven by the desperate wish to see her child and the man she loved before she died, she had set out on a reckless journey. Whether heaven pitied her or not, she ended up near her child and was able to live and breathe in the same space as him.
When she’d first set out, she thought that just being able to do that would be enough.
But it wasn’t. The more she watched her child from up close, the more her desire grew. The wish to spend just a little more time with her child swelled in her heart. Even her desire to bring her child and Haven closer together masked that same selfish longing.
The longing to stay by their side just a bit longer… to change things for them.
But the blood she just vomited up seemed to laugh at her.
Do you really think that’s possible? Do you think heaven will allow it?
…Just like he had mocked her in her dream.
She knew it wasn’t the real Haven. The version of him in her dream had to be a reflection of her own inner thoughts. The words mocking and scorning her—those were her own.
All she could do was linger near her child, doing odd jobs.
A powerless mother.
“Sigh…”
Roze let out a deep sigh and shook her head. Her entire body felt drained. She hadn’t felt this weak before she went to sleep. But the stress from the visit by the former queen and the duchess must have finally caught up to her and worsened her condition.
“Pull yourself together. Don’t be weak.”
She scolded herself, slapped her cheeks with both hands, and forced her heavy body to rise. Her sleepwear was damp—probably from cold sweat. She had to wash and change quickly.
If she wanted to comfort her child even a little before the former queen and duchess left, she had to be there…
It was at that moment that she heard a sharp knock on the door.
Since she always started her day earlier than the other maids, it was still too early for someone to be at her door. Roze froze for a second, then threw a light shawl over her nightgown and cautiously approached the door.
“…Who is it?”
—It’s me, Roze.
“…Nanny?”
The voice on the other side belonged to the nanny.
‘Why the nanny? Did something happen overnight? Did something happen to the child?’
A thousand thoughts raced through Roze’s head. Fear for her child gripped her, and she hurriedly opened the door.
“Is something wrong? Did something happen to the young lady…?”
She didn’t even get a chance to greet the nanny properly and immediately asked in a worried tone. But contrary to her fears, the nanny’s expression was unchanged.
“If something did happen to the young lady, what could you possibly do? You think I’d come ask you to solve something I can’t even handle?”
The nanny cut her off and replied with a mocking tone. Her eyes were still sharp, as if the resentment from the previous evening hadn’t faded.
“No, I just…”
“Get ready. Go up to the former queen’s chambers.”
“…Excuse me?”
Roze blinked, confused by the unexpected command.
“What do you mean? Why would I go to the former queen’s…”
“When you’re told to do something, just do it. Why so many questions?”
“B-but…”
“Today, the former queen has requested you to serve her personally.”
“…What?”
Roze’s eyes widened in disbelief. Seeing her shock, the nanny spoke again.
“You should be honored. If it weren’t for the former queen’s grace, you’d never be allowed to serve someone so noble…”
“W-wait, nanny!”
Roze interrupted her, shaking her head slowly, then more urgently.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. When the young lady wakes up, I need to prepare her wash water, help her get ready for breakfast—”
“So arrogant.”
The nanny scoffed and pushed Roze’s forehead with her finger.
“As if the Grand Duke’s estate has no other maids. Do you really think you’re the only one who can serve the young lady?”
“I didn’t mean it like that—”
“You’ve barely been the young lady’s personal maid for any time at all, and your nose is already in the sky.”
She sneered and pressed her finger into Roze’s forehead again, hard enough to make her stagger. A red mark quickly formed on her pale skin, and the nanny’s face twisted with jealousy.
Pale skin was every woman’s envy. Young or old, everyone desired beauty. The nanny couldn’t help but feel jealous of Roze’s flawless complexion. That kind of skin wasn’t meant for a lowly maid.
‘No wonder she tried to seduce the Grand Duke. All she’s got going for her is that pretty face.’
Her eyes grew even sharper as she looked at Roze and barked more forcefully.
“You don’t need to worry about the young lady. Just do as I say.”
“But nanny…”
Roze tried to refuse again. To her, no one was more important than Flitta, her child.
Even if someone more noble than the former queen asked her to serve them, she would still rather brush her child’s hair and help her wash up. Helping her eat and wiping her little mouth afterward—those were the most precious things in Roze’s world.
“Are you defying me? No—are you planning to disobey the former queen herself?”
The nanny raised her voice, unaware—or perhaps uncaring—of Roze’s thoughts.
Roze opened her mouth a few times without sound, then closed it. Her small shoulders drooped.
The former queen.
Now that her name had been brought up, there was nothing Roze could do. If the former queen had specifically chosen her, how could she refuse?
“…Understood.”
“Hmph! You should’ve said so from the start. Hurry up and get ready. You need to be in the former queen’s room before she wakes up.”
With a snort, the nanny spun on her heel and left as if she’d said everything she needed to. Roze stared at her retreating back and let out a sigh.
