Chapter 4
Relentless and oblivious Mi-ae was driving Ri-hyeon to the brink of madness.
“I’m tired. I’m going to rest.”
Even though she stated it directly, Mi-ae had no intention of stepping back. Instead, she grabbed Ri-hyeon’s arm and continued her one-sided conversation.
“Even if you’re resting, at least say so. You had me worried sick, you know.”
Mi-ae’s theatrics were selfish to the extreme. She insisted on saying whatever she wanted, regardless of circumstances, and the concept of consideration simply didn’t exist in her vocabulary. Even her claims of “looking out for Ri-hyeon” were nothing more than self-satisfaction.
“There’s nothing special.”
Ri-hyeon replied reluctantly, but the storm of memories passed over her face. The lingering trace of Tae-jun, never leaving for even a second, felt sharper than ever. Cowardly excuses tied to their nightmare reunion and breakup, countless desires, all revived vividly, pressing down on her chest.
“You can’t just do it halfway. You have to give it your all and succeed.”
“……”
“This is your last chance from your father.”
The mention of Beom-ho—essentially a shackle—made Ri-hyeon flinch. Just thinking of him sent an unpleasant chill down her spine. Her father, trapped in the authority of being a Supreme Court judge, even sought to control his own child. Beom-ho interfered in every action, every outfit, trying to dictate her future. Whenever she resisted, verbal abuse followed, sometimes escalating to violence.
“If this falls through, remember your plan to go to law school.”
Beom-ho could never understand Ri-hyeon’s choice to take a different path after graduating from law school. In the midst of constant conflict, he had pushed her relentlessly to continue toward the law.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? Are you listening to me?”
“I’m listening.”
Her curt response made her parents feel like an invisible prison. Under the shadow of the successful Beom-ho, she had to live as the “perfect daughter,” while Mi-ae cared only about appearances she could boast about to the world. No one asked about her feelings; emotions were merely a cumbersome burden.
“Speak nicely. You weren’t like this before that time.”
By “that time,” Mi-ae referred to the torn-apart breakup. After parting from Tae-jun, Ri-hyeon could no longer tolerate emotions masked by politeness and compliance. She let her long-suppressed resentment surface, discarding the obedient, crushed image of a daughter under authority. Ultimately, she gave up law school and chose graduate studies in education. Instead of praise, she received disappointment; instead of support, reproach. Yet she persisted, because she wanted a life of her own.
“Just thinking about that time… ugh.”
Mi-ae had despised the impoverished Tae-jun, and so did Beom-ho. They had opposed the relationship outright and pressured her harshly. That incident was decisive. The rift between parent and child widened uncontrollably, leaving a chasm that seven years later remained irreparable.
“Anyway, pull yourself together, okay?”
Ri-hyeon remained silent at the endlessly repeated words. The same advice, the same pressure, felt like a hollow shell. In the repetitive scenario, she felt nothing and simply stayed in her place.
“There will be people trying to belittle you for being a professor without a PhD. Make sure nothing can be picked on.”
In truth, Ri-hyeon’s appointment was exceptional. As Tae-jun had noted, rumors circulated that she had leveraged connections to go straight from assistant to lecturer.
“Oh, you remember tomorrow evening’s appointment, right?”
“Appointment?”
“Take care of the kid! You promised to have dinner with Judge Kim.”
It was a unilateral command, not an actual promise. Ri-hyeon drew a cold line with a quiet sigh.
“That’s inconvenient.”
“And now you say it’s inconvenient?”
“I told you I couldn’t. I have an important meeting.”
“When exactly… ugh, anyway, make sure you go. If you don’t, what will become of Mom’s reputation?”
Faced with Mi-ae’s coercive tone, Ri-hyeon turned her gaze away. The only way to deal with stubborn Mi-ae was not persuasion, but outright ignoring.
“Ri-hyeon, please, just do this for Mom.”
“……”
“Don’t you feel sorry for me, who’s been running toward your happiness all this time?”
Sensing that the nagging was about to turn into a long lament, Ri-hyeon pulled away from Mi-ae’s grasp. It was clear it would continue endlessly if she stayed.
“Back when that uproar happened seven years ago, I aged decades. From kindergarten to your master’s thesis, raising you consumed my youth.”
Ri-hyeon stopped as she was about to retreat to her room. The words “master’s thesis” struck her like gunfire in her ears.
“If you want to keep your professor position, listen to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not a position you earned honorably.”
“Cut the nonsense.”
“There’s a lot of talk about your thesis. You can’t just dismiss it. Even the examiners, including your advisor, make that clear.”
Overlapping with her conversations with Tae-jun, her long-buried doubts resurfaced. She felt entangled in a maze with no exit.
“Why the thesis?”
“Huh?”
“You just said you supported me for the thesis.”
Mi-ae flinched, biting her lips. She seemed momentarily caught by her own slip, then quickly tried to recover, shaking her head as if nothing had happened.
“I just meant I supported you so you could focus on your thesis. Keeping an eye on it isn’t easy, you know.”
“……”
“Your father’s opposition made it even harder. Always asking those ridiculous questions, right?”
Ri-hyeon narrowed her eyes at Mi-ae’s sharp reaction. She knew better than anyone how Mi-ae could adorn her emotions when convenient, then harden them when challenged.
“Haven’t you met Professor Kim separately?”
“Why would I meet your advisor? Never happened!”
Her agitated tone sent a chill through Ri-hyeon’s chest. A grim premonition crawled up her spine. The unease wasn’t simple; the pieces were fitting together, deepening her suspicion.
“Don’t be so sensitive over nothing. Just rest.”
Even as Mi-ae tried to change the subject, Tae-jun’s icy warning echoed in her mind:
“Don’t assume what you know is the truth.”
Was it an unreasonable threat? If all her efforts had been manipulated, if the results she had fought for were just a house of sand, could she have borne it? Ri-hyeon wasn’t sure she could.
“Your mother had nothing to do with this appointment, right?”
“I told you she didn’t. If you don’t believe me, ask Professor Kim when he returns from Japan.”
“Returns?”
“He went for a conference. He’ll be back in three days, so ask him directly.”
Mi-ae’s knowledge of her advisor’s travel schedule only heightened Ri-hyeon’s suspicion. It was too detailed to be mere interest, and her defensive attitude seemed suspicious.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
When Ri-hyeon remained silent, Mi-ae began hopping up and down in frustration.
“I said it’s not true! Why are you like this? Just call and check, quickly.”
Handing over the phone, Mi-ae left Ri-hyeon no choice. She turned sharply and opened the front door. She needed to know what truths she hadn’t been told.
“Ri-hyeon, where are you going? Cha Ri-hyeon!”
Mi-ae’s startled voice followed, but Ri-hyeon left the house. The cold air filled her lungs, but her mind grew even more chaotic.
Dust swirled silently, as if holding its breath. Inside the car, a heavy stillness prevailed. Ri-hyeon stared ahead, trapped in the chasm of confusion.
“Haa…”
Even exhaling frustration deepened her turmoil. Clutching the edges of her doubts, she had come to Tae-jun’s officetel but could make no decision. Her gaze landed on the card in her hand.
“Come after work. I’ll explain everything.”
Tae-jun’s expression as he handed over the card lingered: confident, at ease, certain she would inevitably come here.
“Want to roll around and relax?”
The humiliating tone made Ri-hyeon bow her head. She had come for a different reason, but his words felt strangely affirming. Maybe… it was frightening. That he was unmarried caused a stir, and she wasn’t sure she could handle his assertive approach. If she became entangled with him again, her daily life might not survive.
