Chapter 7
“Excuse me.”
“Yes.”
As we were left alone, I broke the silence that had instantly taken over the drawing room. I might get scolded for my behavior earlier, but I didn’t want to miss the first chance to talk with my husband after that kind of morning.
“Wouldn’t you like to rest a little longer?”
Come to think of it, I think I’d said something similar to Tesena when he came to pick me up. A month ago. To my fiancé, who had stepped down from the lavish Steinway family carriage, greeted me, and stood blankly in front of the gate.
He was now my husband, not my fiancé.
Though he hadn’t come to see me like he did back then.
“Only if you’re not too busy.”
A brief silence passed.
“…Alright. Just for a while.”
Keigan repeated his earlier answer and sat back down.
Fresh tea water trickled, filling the cups. The fragrance was sweeter than before. Warmth returned to the cups that had grown lukewarm. After filling both cups with the tea water Judy had brought up, I floated a peach-colored flower the size of a thumbnail.
“May I read that book later too? I’m curious about the rare book you procured.”
I felt as if the heat that had gathered in my head was gently spreading throughout my body. Had they over-fermented the tea leaves? I felt slightly intoxicated.
Keigan stared at the petal in his cup as if doubting whether it was edible, then quietly set the cup down.
“I doubt it’s very interesting. The Old Elcon language is difficult, and I hear it’s essentially a chronicle written from the perspective of monsters—like a scripture.”
The fact that I understood Elcon as well as any other noble, and that Keigan knew that fact, made me feel a little proud at this moment.
“Still, I’m curious. I’d like to read it too.”
Honestly, the content of the book didn’t matter. I just wanted to read a book you were interested in enough to procure with difficulty.
“After Count Lizhen has finished reading it, and after you, Keigan, have read it too.”
“Do as you please.”
Watching him nod as if to say “have it your way,” I suddenly spoke with a hint of pride.
“Count Lizhen seems to respect you greatly.”
And I respect you too. You’re a true knight. A knight who protects people from all kinds of dangers. I’ve always respected heroes who devote themselves to duty and justice. I was proud of my husband, a knight like that.
But Keigan didn’t look particularly impressed by my compliment. Instead, his eyes grew even more shadowed as he silently looked at me before speaking.
“…It seems Jace makes you happy.”
For a moment, I wondered why he was giving such an irrelevant answer, but soon I realized what he was trying to say.
He must be talking about when I was laughing carelessly with my mouth wide open. It was something I regretted a little myself, so I admitted it honestly, though I was embarrassed.
“I was too informal. I realized it a little late. I’d heard that Count Lizhen has a very bright personality, and he was so amusing, like watching a mischievous younger brother…”
“He is twenty-three years old.”
The sharp correction fell before I could even finish my sentence.
I wiped the faint smile from my lips and cautiously observed his expression. Though he seemed calmly composed now, was he still angry?
“I’m sorry. I used an expression that was disrespectful to the Count.”
Feeling as if I’d been doused with cold water after getting too excited on my own, my voice came out quite dejected.
“No, that’s not what I meant… You don’t need to apologize to me.”
Though Keigan told me not to apologize, he didn’t hide the sound of a small sigh. His eyes looked troubled. There was a clear trace of reproach in them.
“Are you feeling alright?”
So when he suddenly changed the subject, I was a little taken aback.
“I didn’t realize you were overexerting yourself.”
The reproachful look in his eyes remained, though.
“Even though I resolved to review my duties and be careful before coming to your bedroom, in the end, I was careless. I should have carefully checked your condition. I shouldn’t have taken your word that you were fine at face value. Without properly assessing your physical state, I pushed you too hard…”
The target of his concern was completely off the mark.
“Forgive me. I will ensure it never happens again.”
Forgiveness?
“No, I was fine.”
I quickly waved my hands in strong denial.
I wasn’t in a position to receive such a lengthy apology. In fact, if anyone owed an apology for what happened yesterday, it was me. I hadn’t seen things through as faithfully as Keigan had. I’d barely done anything and had just passed out on my own.
And what did he mean by “carefully assessing” while doing it? What exactly was he planning to do?
I spoke up brightly, clearly showing my energy.
“I’m actually in great condition right now. Mira saw me and gave me a massage to prevent muscle soreness. It was remarkably effective. I feel even better than I did yesterday.”
I’d said it to reassure him.
But Keigan’s eyes began to waver.
“Were you in that much discomfort? Muscle soreness doesn’t just happen to people for no reason…”
“No! That’s not it. I mean, of course, I expected some level of it at first.”
I was about to say, “Wouldn’t I have to endure some of it?” but stopped.
Was this a topic to be discussed in detail in broad daylight? Wasn’t it taboo to speak of nighttime matters during the day? No, more than that—for an ordinary person to experience muscle soreness, it would have to be quite an event, wouldn’t it?
“Rowan.”
His eyes sank even darker.
“I have neglected my duty.”
A shadow of despair fell over his face. Like a carpenter who, while building a wall for a precious master, had belatedly realized he’d left out a single brick.
At this point, I could clearly understand one thing about him: that the scope of duty Keigan considered was broader and stricter than the universal standards agreed upon in noble society.
“No, you did well.”
But I wanted to make allowances for him.
Last night, you had been sufficiently attentive and spent enough time. As a new groom, you had done your part. That terrifying presence hidden beneath his modest clothes—the sheer sight of which could make one scream—was not his fault.
“It’s just that I was nervous for no reason.”
Looking into his doubtful eyes, I spoke firmly.
“Shall we say I lacked sufficient warm-up? It was my fault.”
I didn’t know why I felt the need to comfort him, but I wanted to. Wouldn’t it only be fair to be a faithful wife to a loyal husband?
It was my fault for not expressing myself to him. My fault for only crying like a mute beast and then falling fast asleep. I should have said something appreciative about his efforts on our wedding night. Why hadn’t Mira told me about this kind of thing?
Keigan, you did wonderfully last night. You worked very hard. If I said something like that… No, that would be even more awkward, so I’ll just say it honestly.
“I felt goo—”
“I should be going.”
Suddenly, Keigan stood up abruptly.
“What? Already?”
Startled, I also stood up. The chair scraped back with a squeak. His strides as he left the drawing room without looking back were such that I would have to run to catch up.
“Kei— ah.”
I tried to stop as I saw his back, having halted at my call, but due to my momentum, I bumped into him rather ungracefully.
“I’m sorry. I was in a hurry…”
Without raising my head, I rubbed my forehead where it had hit his shoulder blade or somewhere. It didn’t hurt. I just wanted to hide my face somehow.
A small sigh came from above my head, and my desire to find a mouse hole was short-lived. The hand I was using to rub my forehead was caught by him and pulled away.
“Are you alright.”
His large hands cupped my cheeks, and my head was naturally lifted.
Keigan was examining my face right in front of me. Looking at me intently like this, last night he had kissed me…
“M-my hair is just a little disheveled.”
I hurriedly made excuses, trying to dispel the memories that kept flooding back, and casually patted my hair down.
Then his gaze slowly followed my face. His firm fingers traced my forehead and cheeks, brushing away stray hairs. All the while, I remained still, looking at him as if spellbound.
For some reason, my heart was pounding violently. I’d thought he’d become a completely different person from the one in bed due to his cold demeanor, but the hands touching me were just as kind and gentle as they had been yesterday.
Sliding softly, the hair on my side came loose and fell over my shoulder.
“Here.”
Keigan held something shiny out to me.
“You’ll need to tie it up again.”
It was the gold ribbon that had adorned my hair tie.
“Oh, thank you, Keigan.”
I took the ribbon, my face flushing. The moment our fingertips touched, my chest tingled and tightened. Even though I was terribly embarrassed, I was disappointed when he quickly withdrew his hand from me.
With an impeccably composed expression, he asked me.
“Do you have anything more to say to me?”
At his low, murmuring voice, I involuntarily held my breath before letting it out.
“Not really… I didn’t have any particular business.”
Actually, I had wanted to apologize for the embarrassing service I’d made him do last night. But that felt awkward to bring up now.
First I thought he was angry with me, then he apologized himself, then suddenly ran away, then stopped and fixed my hair—a hard person to read.
“You must be busy. I’ll walk you to the garden at least. It’ll serve as a walk as well.”
A weak laugh escaped me.
He’s my husband. Why am I so nervous?
“I’ll go alone.”
Keigan gave another cold answer. But before I could get lost in thought again, he reached out, tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, and stepped back.
“Another time for the walk.”
I remained alone in the empty drawing room for a while, then returned to my bedroom in a dazed state.
The chandelier on the bedroom ceiling sparkled, reflecting the sunlight streaming through the window. I lay on the bed, looking up for a long time at the view I’d gazed at without tiring for the past month.
What is this? This feeling. I couldn’t find the words to express this strange flutter.
In any case, I resolved repeatedly: I absolutely must not fall asleep first tonight. Even if he might not come tonight, but tomorrow or a few days from now—still, I must not.
