MSS 32

Chapter 32

“The next day, I went to school and told the teacher it was true—I did egg Paul on. I apologized for lying.”

“…Why?”

“Because to get into the Academy, I needed a recommendation letter from her.”

Just like she said—unlike others, I don’t have parents who would storm in yelling, ‘Why won’t you write my child a recommendation letter? I’ll sue!’

If I didn’t get that letter somehow, there was no way I could even take the entrance exam.

“She probably knew that. That’s why she acted that way.”

‘The victim’s parents said they’ll drop the charges after hearing your circumstances. They said they can’t demand compensation from an orphan, no matter what.’
‘Yes.’
‘See? Everything worked out because you admitted it, Seraphina.’
‘…Yes.’
‘Because you were honest, the teacher isn’t pushing the matter any further, okay?’
‘Yes.’

“There was no trace of guilt in her expression when she looked at me back then.”

“How could she do that?”

“In my opinion…”
Ahem. I stopped talking and cleared my throat.
Talking about something long past, and suddenly my voice is choking up—ridiculous.
Luckily, Arden pretended not to notice.
I steadied the tremor in my voice and continued.

“The first time is the hardest.”

That very first time someone decides to shove responsibility onto someone else to save themselves—that one time is hard.
After that, it gets easier. Because they’ve done it once.
There’s hardly even guilt. They’ve already rationalized it to themselves.

“Looking back now… I think she crossed some line inside herself that day.”

That line piled up, and up, and up—
Accumulated experiences of crossing boundaries without ever facing consequences.
That’s what shaped the teacher she is today.
Someone who knows she won’t suffer for it, so she’s cruel to the weak.

“I wrote a reflection. Wrote an apology. Got punished with cleaning the staff restroom for a week. Signed the disciplinary record. …And got the recommendation letter in return.”

“…….”

“When I was leaving, I heard her talking to another teacher behind me.”

‘Even kids with no parents or money still think about going to the Academy. Isn’t tuition something like 8 million gold per semester?’
‘Why do you say things like that, Ms. Isabel? They need it even more precisely because they don’t have money.’
‘I was just curious, that’s all.’

On her desk lay the recommendation letter of a student whose scores were barely half mine, but who was set to study abroad simply because they were lucky with their parents.
Mine was three lines.
Theirs was three pages.

“Fourteen-year-old me didn’t fail to see the unfairness. I knew exactly what was happening and still let it happen.”

I knew. But had no way to fight it. So I kept my eyes open and endured it.

“Just like today.”

The story ended there. I wrapped it up with a smile.
Then I realized—I’d rushed out earlier still wearing my uniform.
I let out a quiet oh, whatever and lowered my head.

And then Arden suddenly jumped in place.
He’s tall, so he practically launched a whole meter straight up.

“Don’t cry!”

“Uh…”

“Don’t cry. It’s not something to cry about. I mean—actually, it is something to cry about! But crying over past things only hurts you and, and…”

“…….”

“Anyway, don’t cry. I’ll take care of it somehow.”

“…….”

“Please don’t cry, okay?”

“Um…”

I’m… not crying though…
But he was so frantic I couldn’t get a word in.

“Do you want a handkerchief? Or should we go to the Imperial Palace right now?”

He tried to cup my face in his hands, then panicked and retracted them, then made a fist, then opened it, then rubbed his forehead, then looked at the sky—just absolute chaos.

“Really. I will take care of it. So don’t cry.”

“Uh… thanks?”

But like you said, it’s already in the past. There’s nothing you can do now.

“And I’m not crying.”

“What?!”

“No—”

Why is he looking at me like I betrayed him… Arden…

“…Should I start crying now, then?”

“No!”

The way he flailed his hands—honestly, it was funny.

“Pfft.”

“Why are you laughing!?”

“You said not to cry.”

“Don’t laugh either!”

“Then what do I do?”

“Keep a straight face!”

“Pfft!”

He glared at me as I burst into laughter, but before I knew it, a smile spread across his face too.
Did you know? Arden gets dimples when he smiles.

We smiled at each other like that for a while.

Before long, we reached the heart of District 1. I looked at the Imperial Library—once the palace of a cardinal—and said:

“Thanks for seeing me off.”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not my home, but…”
I looked up at him. “Do you want to come inside?”
Arden shook his head.

“I have something important to do.”

He bowed lightly and strode away. His strides were so long he was already far ahead.

I watched his shrinking back for a moment, then turned around.

“…But why is he going toward the palace?”

Maybe he’s going back to the Knight Order.
He’s not actually going to go see His Majesty, right?

“No way.”

The Emperor isn’t Arden’s mother—he can’t just be seen on request.
No way. I shook my head and walked toward the librarian.

“Hello, I’m looking for books on litigation…”

“Of course. There’s always a way in books.”

Just being in the library after so long lifted my mood.

I buried myself in books until closing.
I checked out the ones I needed—didn’t seem like many, but it turned out to be twenty-one.
I wondered if that was even a reasonable weight for one adult woman to carry.
Maybe I looked pathetic, because a librarian gave me a cloth bundle.

With the bundle of books, I headed home.

“Lalala.”

“Why are you so late!?”

“…Huh?”

Arden was waiting in front of my room, and immediately snapped when he saw me climbing the stairs.

“I was waiting!”

“For me?”

Did we arrange to meet?
But more importantly—

“What’s wrong?”

He looked urgent. Curious, I asked.
Arden grabbed the bundle of books from my hands and asked quickly:

“That woman earlier—the one you said was your teacher.”

“Yeah.”