Chapter 29
“Why!”
Arden looked at me—who was practically screeching—with a sour expression.
I didn’t care.
“Why! Why! WHY!”
Why are you trying to catch the Magic Saintess?!
Not you!
Not someone tall and fast and diligent like you!
Someone soft and tofu-like… someone dopey… someone whose only charm is being cute and who lies around all day—that kind of person should be catching her!
Why is it you!
“Why did you suddenly decide this?!”
Don’t you have anything better to do?!
“Is the knight order super free these days?!”
No, more importantly!
“Why are you trying to catch the Magic Saintess! She hasn’t even committed a crime yet!”
“‘Yet?’”
“…….”
Oops.
I shut my mouth.
Arden folded his arms as he looked down at me.
“So you do think the Magic Saintess will commit crimes eventually.”
And then—
Still with his arms crossed, Arden lifted his chin slightly.
“The Magic Saintess has already committed crimes.”
“What crimes?!”
The things I’ve done so far:
-
Picking the locked dressing room door and sneaking in.
-
Breaking into the Ingrid merchant family’s mansion—beating people up, setting fires, smashing windows.
-
Breaking Skitter’s house lock, smashing his desk, and stealing a film can.
-
Beating up that red-eyed handsome guy I met in the process with my toy hammer…
‘…Okay, that’s actually quite a lot.’
I bit my lip in embarrassment.
But the crime Arden listed was something else entirely.
“The Magic Saintess is guilty of public indecency.”
“What?”
What crime??
I stared up at Arden, completely baffled.
Receiving my stare, Arden’s lips pushed into a pout, and he gently pulled his elbow free from my grasp.
“It means you caused discomfort and psychological disturbance to the public by wearing excessively revealing attire against public norms.”
“…….”
“If the Magic Saintess were an outright villain, it wouldn’t be as bad. But the fact that she’s acting like some kind of righteous outlaw is the real issue. Because her actions are perceived as good, people are more likely to view her outfit positively. If that attire becomes a trend…”
Arden rubbed his eyes with one hand as though imagining the horror gave him a migraine.
“There may be room to admire her actions, but that outfit is absolutely, absolutely, ABSOLUTELY not admirable…”
“…….”
“Haaah.”
“…….”
“Haaaaaaaah.”
“…….”
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…”
“…….”
I feel like garbage. Could you stop sighing…?
“Anyway, I agree that the Magic Saintess is doing some things that are somewhat positive. But that doesn’t mean we can allow her to harm public sentiment. I’m going to propose we create a special task force dedicated to her.”
“…….”
“I’ll catch her. Without fail.”
“…….”
“I’ll do my absolute best.”
No, don’t.
“By any means necessary.”
Don’t use means!
“I’ll uncover her identity.”
Don’t uncover it!!
Because it’s me!!!!
“Don’t worry.”
I’M WORRIED ABOUT GETTING CAUGHT!! I’M WORRIED!!
“I’m losing my mind.”
This is bad.
Arden is the kind of guy who does what he says.
“You don’t even know how ruthless he can be… Ugh, whatever. I don’t wanna talk about it.”
He’s so ruthless I think I might’ve gotten poisoned just now.
Ughhh. I grabbed the small scissors and stomped my foot. Next to me, Tofu, gnawing on the salmon snack a customer had given him, asked:
“Does that human have no weaknesses we can use?”
“Weaknesses?”
Only cicadas come to mind.
Should I put like ten cicadas in a sack and threaten him? If he doesn’t stop trying to catch the Magic Saintess, I’ll release them in his room?
‘But he lives in the room above me.’
And where am I even gonna find cicadas? In this season?
No, more than that—
“I can’t even catch cicadas!”
Aaaaaargh!
“Chp.”
Only I screamed. Tofu kept eating.
Nearby, customers waiting for their clothing to be wrapped were chatting while looking at the shop’s newspaper.
“So, who even is the Magic Saintess?”
“No idea. Some say she’s a noble lady doing it as a hobby. Others say she’s a princess from a fallen kingdom…”
“I heard she’s a distant imperial relative at the bottom of the succession line.”
“Here’s a professor’s analysis! ‘Judging from the elegant handwriting and perfect spelling in the messages she leaves, she appears to be highly educated…’”
“She doesn’t seem to need to work for a living during the day…”
“She must have the financial leisure to think deeply about social injustice…”
“‘Most likely the child of an upper-class family with assets worth at least 2 billion gold.’”
“I’m betting on the fallen princess theory.”
“I’m going with distant imperial relative. A member of the imperial family watching over the grievances of commoners…”
“Excuse me, miss? Could you wipe this off my hand? My hands are full right now.”
“Yes.”
‘The Magic Saintess is currently wiping jelly goo off a customer’s hand.’
And they think I’m a princess?!
Reality:
“Excuse me, do you have lace gloves?”
“Yes, over here—”
“ACK!!!!!!”
“?!”
“You scared me! Why are you suddenly appearing like that?! Oh my goodness! I almost died! My heart nearly fell out! Oh my—oh—I’m so, so shocked. Why would you suddenly appear like that?!”
I’m more shocked, ma’am…
“Oh my heart… wow… goodness… why did you suddenly talk to me—ahhh…”
Heh…
After finally sending off the customer who kept claiming I scared her half to death, I sighed in relief.
“Hey, girl. Come here.”
An elderly woman, around my grandmother’s age, beckoned to me.
“Yes, what can I help you with?”
“My daughter told me to buy moon cosmos for her photo.”
“Oh, a corsage? Where will it be placed?”
“What’s the difference?”
“Yes. Collar, chest, waist—they’re all different sizes and shapes. What did your daughter say?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You choose.”
“Haha…”
These kinds of customers are low-key difficult.
But she reminded me of my grandmother (who I don’t have), so—
“Why is your daughter taking the photo?”
“For the locket.”
“Oh, a locket photo! Then it only shows up to the chest, so not the waist ones. I’ll show you collar or hat styles.”
At that moment, my coworker Hazel tapped my shoulder.
“Seraphina, go take your break.”
“Oh, already?”
“You’ve been saying you’re hungry for ages. Ellie brought cookies. Go—”
“Miss, what about this? How much? And this? And that?”
“Ma’am, we don’t have all the prices memorized. Please bring what you want to the counter and we’ll check—”
“I don’t know how to do that! Just take them and check for me!”
“Seraphina, just go.”
Hazel pushed me away gently and took over for me.
“Okay…”
I turned to the grandma again.
“Ma’am, I was helping another customer just before. I’ll attend to that person first, then help you afterward.”
“These are only ten items! How long could it take?!”
“Ma’am, I’ll be right back—”
“If you stopped yapping and just went, you’d be done already!”
“…….”
‘Think positive. Older people have less patience.’
She must be tired.
‘Also Hazel looks exhausted.’
Fine. I’ll just think of it as helping a grandma on the street.
I turned back.
When Hazel tried to stop me with her eyes, I smiled and shook my head.
I approached the grandma.
“This one is—”
“Oh, great! This’ll do! Thanks!”
“Hehe. Sure.”
I ended up using my entire break.
I explained one thing, she asked another. I explained that, she said she couldn’t do it and told me to do it for her. I said I couldn’t do that part, she insisted I do it anyway…
But somehow, it ended.
“Thank you so much. You could be a teacher someday! My daughter used to be a schoolteacher, you know.”
“The one taking photos today?”
“Yes! She’s smart, she went to the Academy. You know the Academy, right?”
She bragged nonstop about her daughter’s marriage, how her son-in-law’s business was booming, how they bought a huge house in District 2, and on and on…
“It must be wonderful.”
After finally sending her off, I exhaled a long breath.
‘Moments like this give a tiny sense of achievement.’
When someone who seemed like a nightmare customer leaves smiling—
You feel like you actually built a human-to-human connection.
Like maybe they weren’t such a terrible person.
“Seraphina, are you okay? You didn’t even get your break.”
Hazel asked.
I stretched while looking at the grandma’s retreating figure—carrying a box I’d even wrapped with a flower.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Thanks for helping. I almost screamed earlier.”
“No, save that beautiful voice of yours. Don’t waste it here.”
But can I just have one cookie? I linked arms with Hazel and headed inside.
My body was tired, but my mood was good.
Seven hours later, that same grandma:
“I said give me a refund!”
“Ma’am… this corsage is made of real flowers. You already used it. It’s wilted. How can we refund it?”
“That girl earlier said you could!”
“Huh? Me?”
Until she returned holding a squished, destroyed corsage—
“Ma’am, I never said that… I specifically said real-flower corsages look good in photos but they’re single-use and non-refundable, which is why you should buy them on the same day.”
Human-to-human my foot.
Bond-building my foot.
“You made me buy this expensive thing! I wasn’t even going to buy it! So you’re responsible for refunding it!”
“When did I ever—”
“Enough! Refund it! NOW!”
You think real people like this don’t exist? You think I’m exaggerating?
From Miss “Ack you scared me!” earlier to this grandma—every one of them is real.
Unbelievable.
I gave up my break for her.
Is it selfish of me to think anyone else would at least feel grateful enough to not act like this?
“You scammers! I’ll report every one of you! My daughter was a teacher!”
Oh, perfect timing!
“You’re all in big trouble!”
The grandma yelled as a woman entered holding the hand of an eight-year-old girl.
“Magic Saintess sparkle sparkle!’’
The little girl, apparently my fan, was swinging a toy hammer and kicking at random things while the woman tried to restrain her.
Bright blond-dyed hair. Thin cheeks. A slightly older face than I remember.
The woman was someone I knew.
“…Teacher?”
