Chapter 26
Boing!
“Why aren’t you answering when someone’s asking you something?!”
Are you some kind of problem customer?!
I asked you three or four times, ‘You ordered the red one, right?’ and you ignored me every time, only to go, ‘Uh, excuse me? I ordered the blue one?’ in the end?!
Boing!
“I asked you! Who! Are! You?!”
Boing!
“How! Did! You! Find! This! Place?!”
Boing!
“When! Someone! Asks! You! Something! You! Answer!”
“Ugh!”
They call it “boing,” but honestly, it sounded more like—
Smack!
The man staggered as the flying squeaky hammer struck the back of his head squarely.
His neatly styled black hair turned into a mess.
When would a guy like this ever have been beaten half to death with a squeaky hammer? Looking like some kind of black panther and all.
Have a full serving of this today!
“You won’t wake up unless you get hit! You have to get hit!”
As much as the man backed away, I stepped forward. In the not-so-wide room, we went around in circles, hitting and getting hit.
Beep-beep-beep-beep!
Now the hammer wasn’t even going “boing,” it was going “beep.” The man, who’d been raising his arms to block, cursed under his breath and suddenly ducked down and charged at me.
“Yeah, sure~”
“Ghk!”
Thunk!
I grabbed him by the neck as he tried to crush me with his bigger build.
“Yeah, yeah.”
And then I charged forward, trying to slam his back straight into the wall.
But the man was faster.
He deliberately slipped and fell, then quickly rolled away, breaking free of my grip.
While I was slipping too and trying to regain my balance—
“Yip!”
Tofu, who’d been cheering in the corner with a letter in his mouth, got grabbed by the man.
The envelope scattered out of Tofu’s mouth in surprise.
“Yiiip!”
“Drop him!”—kicked wildly with his hind legs as the man lifted him up by the neck and sneered.
“Stay right there. If you move, this puppy dies.”
“…….”
A man who was at least a head taller than me, with shoulders almost twice as wide, threatening someone with the life of a palm-sized puppy… Is this real?
“I heard you talking earlier. That dog sounds like some kind of divine beast. Should I try twisting his neck and see if he stays alive?”
Yeah. It’s real.
“…….”
I stared at him.
Air puffed into my cheeks from sheer disbelief. I almost wanted to laugh.
Wow.
I’m actually furious for the first time in a while.
You mess with a dog?
Is this a villain thing? One guy wanted to stuff a golden retriever, another used a Maltese as a shield, and now this guy?
“Give up.”
The man sneered when he saw that I couldn’t act recklessly even while glaring at him.
“You can’t throw this dog away, can you? That’s why people who talk about ‘justice’ are like this. You try to be righteous about everything, so you end up with too many limits.”
Seriously.
“You’re the one who should give up. If you hurt that dog, I won’t let you live peacefully. So just let him go quietly.”
“Well. If I’m going to die either way, I’d like to take at least one dog with me.”
“He’s not just a dog…”
“…If you let me go now, I’ll let him run away.”
“Ghk.”
He laughed at me as I spat those words through clenched teeth.
“That’s why you’re hopeless. People like you.”
Tofu whimpered as the man’s hand shook him.
Normally, with his big round belly, he looked like a little pig, but at times like this, he was nothing but a handful.
That handful of Tofu was being handled roughly.
I’m so damn pissed…
Isn’t there some way? I took a deep breath.
If I were the magical saintess from 950 years ago who could pick locks and defeat enemies with magic, this kind of situation would’ve been easy.
Why am I not a real “magical” saintess, so I can’t do anything against a jerk like this…!
God!
Let me use magic too! Anything!
Just once!
That’s when it happened.
The transformation mirror hanging around my neck started shining by itself.
A heart-shaped mirror that sparkled brilliantly, as if responding to the moonlight coming in through the window.
“Serena! Use the hand mirror!” Tofu shouted before I even realized it.
“This?!” I lifted it up without thinking.
But what am I supposed to do with this?!
“Are you telling me to use the mirror to block bullets again— Ah!”
The moment I realized it—
Smack!
I ripped the transformation mirror off my neck and threw it.
“Ugh!”
The man lost his grip on Tofu and fell backward after getting hit squarely in the forehead by the edge of the red heart.
“Yes!”
I clenched my fist.
“Crack skulls with long-range headshots!”
“I meant amplify the moonlight with the mirror…!”
“This works way better!”
Who has time to sit there gathering light with a mirror? Is this science class?!
“Red Eyes! You’re dead now!”
I can’t forgive you no matter how handsome you are!
I lunged at the man, who was still down and struggling to get up.
Smack!
“If you bully animals who can’t talk! Women! Old people! And kids! You’re the worst kind of trash!”
And you’ve already got two titles: animal! and woman!
“I’ll shatter your wrists right here so you can never do this again!”
When I hit Pepper’s dad, black liquid came out of his mouth—let’s see what comes out of you today!
Smack!
With every swing of the hammer, star-shaped candies and heart-shaped cookies popped out.
“Don’t bully the weak!”
Smack!
“Don’t dig up other people’s painful memories!”
Smack!
“‘Right to know’?! You’re just doing it for fun!”
Smack!
“Rosena is a great actress! Don’t make her want to retire!”
Smack!
“No one has the right to consume someone else’s misery!”
People who only understand after being told!
☆☆☆☆☆
So that everyone can have money, fame, and health!
Magical Saintess Seraphina!
Evil-Punishing Hammer Strikes!
☆☆☆☆☆
Flash!
The jewel embedded in the middle of my squeaky hammer and the hand mirror stuck in the man’s forehead began to glow brightly.
The light grew stronger, illuminating the entire room.
Then—
A shower of red, yellow, and green star candies poured down, bouncing loudly as they pelted the man.
“Ugh! Wh-what is this?!”
“I don’t know either!”
While panicking over the sudden candy rain, I diligently stepped on the man’s body.
“Ghk!”
The man, who still wasn’t fully conscious, suddenly pulled something out of his pocket and detonated it.
Crash!
Afraid it might be something weird again, I grabbed Tofu first, and during that moment, he escaped by breaking the window and running.
“Where do you think you’re going, you bastard?!”
I threw about a million star candies at the back of the fleeing man’s head, but—
“Where are you going? Apologize to the dog before you go!”
“Seraphina. He already ran away.”
“Tofu!”
Are you okay?! I hugged the whining Tofu.
“Are you hurt anywhere?! Didn’t that guy squeeze you too hard?! Geez, look at your fur all messed up… You need a bath.”
“I’m fine about the bath. But more importantly, Seraphina.”
Look there. What Tofu pointed at with his furry paw—
“…What. The hand mirror and the squeaky hammer…”
They’d fused together?
The necklace-type transformation mirror and the weapon-type squeaky hammer had combined into one.
At the center of the hammer, the heart-shaped jewel shone brilliantly.
While I watched, the squeaky hammer melted away and turned back into a hand mirror.
But the hand mirror didn’t look like it used to.
It was more elaborate.
…Did it absorb my brooch?
“Why is it like this?”
“It reacted to Seraphina’s powerful heart that desires justice! Now this is a magical tool only Seraphina can use!”
Now Seraphina will be able to use all kinds of magic and functions with this! Tofu clapped with his short little paws.
“Congratulations on becoming a real magical saintess!”
“Well…”
I just wanted to beat that bastard to death…
Thank you for thinking highly of me…?
But still—“a real” magical saintess.
My own exclusive magical tool.
Why are you only telling me something like this now?
I looked at Tofu in disbelief, but he was too busy peeling and eating star candy wrappers stuck on his nose to even listen to me.
“Stupid dog…”
His only ability is being cute.
But anyway, if the holy relic fused with my brooch…
And that’s why I got my own magical tool…
Does that mean I can stop wearing my school brooch two years after graduation?
‘So I can finally stop walking around with my school badge like an idiot.’
Then does that mean when I infiltrate places now, I can open doors with magic instead of strength, leaving no traces?
…An evolved thief?
“Tofu, what kind of other functions can this use?”
“Try it out! Press the jewel in the middle!”
“…Okay.”
I pressed it with anticipation.
It sparkled. A light turned on.
☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★
Sparkle sparkle sparkle. It shone for about ten seconds and turned off.
Tofu, with candy stuck to his nose, cheered.
“Light of justice!”
“Do I defeat villains with this? If I shoot this light, do the bad guys disappear?”
“No! It just… seems to light up!”
“…….”
“Why?”
“…….”
I stared at the unbelievably stupid dog.
Seriously.
Beep-beep-beep! Waaaaaang—
From far away, I could hear the sound of the capital’s guard units being dispatched.
“Gasp. Someone must’ve reported this.”
“Of course! We smashed this place up and made a ton of noise!”
“Let’s run!”
I tucked Tofu back under my arm.
After picking up the letter envelopes scattered on the floor and checking that the film canister was still there, I leapt through the window the black-haired man had shattered.
First, I climbed up onto the roof—
“Magical Saintess!”
“…?!”
That voice is—!
I turned around.
I locked eyes with Arden, who was wearing noble clothing.
Arden’s eyes widened when he saw my face clearly.
“You…!”
What the heck?!
You said my battle uniform had face-recognition-blocking magic on it?!
Why did you recognize me?!
