Chapter 182
My body felt chilly and weak. It was as if all the strength had drained from me, leaving me limp and powerless.
While I lay there groaning like a sickly hen, Mehen brought me a bowl of warm porridge and carefully fed me.
“Are you all right?”
I didn’t even have the energy to answer and only shook my head weakly. Everyone around looked at me with worried eyes.
“That’s strange. They say there’s nothing wrong with your body.”
Neither the palace physician who was called in urgently, nor the healer from the Magic Tower, nor even the priest from the temple could figure out the cause. They all threw up their hands in confusion.
…but I think I know the reason.
[!WARNING! The divine blessing affecting your body is intensifying.]
[Status ailment ‘Weakness’ is worsening.]
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Vital energy greatly reduced.
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Natural healing ability severely diminished.
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Dizziness and stomach pain occurring.
These new lines appeared in my ever‑open status window, as if my body itself were telling me that it had reached its limit.
“Ugh…”
“Please, get some rest for now.”
“Mm.”
“Should I stay beside you?”
I nodded.
Maybe because I was sick, but I couldn’t help clinging to him even though I knew how busy Mehen was.
“I won’t go anywhere. Just sleep peacefully.”
When I opened my eyes again, Pession was there.
Was this a dream?
“You okay?”
…Guess not a dream.
“Why are you mumbling like that?”
“’Cause I’m… worried…”
Maybe because my voice was weak, the words came out slurred.
His small hand touched my forehead, then withdrew.
“You didn’t come to class or the group meeting. I was worried.”
“I’m fine.”
It was just that my body wouldn’t move properly and I kept shivering.
“What about the twins?”
“I left them behind.”
“And Harun?”
“They said too many people shouldn’t come and go when someone’s sick.”
“What about you, then?”
When I looked at him blankly, Pession smiled softly. It was the kind of smile that made me smile back without realizing it.
“Ah, you smiled.”
I didn’t think I’d see him again so soon. Seeing him like this made me happy.
I told him to open the drawer beside the bed. Pession did as I asked and pulled out a small, neatly wrapped box.
“Take that.”
He blinked at me, confused.
“What’s this?”
“A present.”
“Uh…”
“You saw me buying it.”
Pession flinched.
“There was one for me too?”
“Yeah.”
I ended up buying one for everyone.
It was thanks to Chloe. I never go to department stores myself, so if not for her, I wouldn’t even have thought about getting presents.
“The other boxes are for the twins and Harun.”
Pession nodded slightly, still looking doubtful, and carefully held the gift box as if it were fragile.
“Do you like it?”
“…I do.”
He really did look happy. Watching him shyly smile without even unwrapping the box made me tilt my head.
“I already gave you a birthday present, didn’t I?”
I had agonized over what to give to someone like Pession, who already had everything.
After much thought, I’d given him a rare artifact from the regent’s endless hoard of treasures—something fit for royalty.
“That was just a gift. This one’s different.”
What was that supposed to mean? I’d gone out of my way to pick something valuable for him!
“This one… you bought because you thought of me. That makes it more special.”
“….”
The sharpness in my eyes softened.
When he said it like that, I couldn’t really argue.
“It’s just a mass‑produced item.”
You can find piles of them at the Spherom Department Store.
“It’s different.”
I thought the artifact was objectively more valuable, but Pession stubbornly shook his head.
“I’ll treasure it forever.”
He said that without even opening the wrapping. It was just a small pocket watch—if I’d known he’d be this happy, I might’ve bought something nicer.
“Use it freely. I’ll buy you another one.”
“Another one?”
“Sure. I’ll spend my entire fortune on you.”
“Then I’ll give my entire fortune to you.”
Wait—doesn’t that mean I’m getting the better deal here?
Feeling oddly conflicted about accidentally proposing a full asset exchange with the crown prince, I sighed.
Unaware of my thoughts, Pession spoke again, worried.
“Get better soon. We still have to eat together, play together, and study together.”
“Yeah.”
I hope so too.
After Pession left, I must have fallen asleep again. When I opened my eyes next, someone else was there.
…Why was Cheyen here?
Was this another dream?
I closed my eyes, ignoring the illusion, but the sharp, burning stare on my cheek forced them open again.
When I turned my head, I met Cheyen’s gaze. He was looking down at me with a strange expression.
Seriously.
“How did you even get in here?”
“You think I couldn’t?”
Right, probably snuck in under stealth magic again.
“I came as a visitor checking on the sick.”
“…”
I stared at him suspiciously. He rested his chin on his hand, then leaned closer.
“Why are you still holding on? There’s an easier, faster way, you know.”
His eyes said he genuinely couldn’t understand me.
“Is it really so awful to take the hand I’m offering? Hm?”
He spoke as if he were my only salvation, and I was the stubborn one refusing to be saved.
“It won’t be long now.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I still have a year.”
“You even know that?”
Of course I did. No one felt death approaching more clearly than I did.
“Aren’t you afraid? You’re dying, little by little, every moment.”
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.”
A dry cough escaped me.
My body still felt heavy—so heavy it was like I was trapped inside it.
“But I don’t want to run away just because I’m afraid.”
Cheyen’s calm eyes fixed on me.
“If I became your vassal… would I be able to live by my own will?”
He reached out, playing idly with a strand of my hair. I must’ve hit the mark—seen through the truth he was hiding behind that polished offer.
“No, right?”
“Right. You’d belong to me.”
Just as I thought.
“That’s why I refuse.”
Some would say survival is all that matters. That I should live, no matter what it takes.
But I’d already lived one life wrong and learned my lesson.
I have to live for myself.
“I need to live by my own will.”
The kind of life I lead must be my decision.
In my past life, I hadn’t done that.
I claimed to love and live for my mother, but in truth, I’d just been her puppet—doing whatever she wanted.
If I’d truly cared for her, I should have been able to tell her what I wanted too, even if it led to results I didn’t want.
Because pretending not to know, running away from what I already understood, had only led to ruin.
So this time, I’ll perform for myself.
“So you’d rather die?”
Just for that reason?
Cheyen gave a short, incredulous laugh, as if he couldn’t comprehend someone refusing his offer over something so trivial.
“You could live.”
“I know,” I said stubbornly.
“You know your life won’t last long. Do you really think you can endure it?”
“I can.”
I had no intention of giving up—not until the very end. I wasn’t the same person who used to quit easily.
Now I had a father trying desperately to keep me alive. A real mother who loved me so much she didn’t know what to do. A kind Mehen who granted every little thing I asked for…
…and Pession, who said he just wanted me to be happy.
“I don’t like this,” Cheyen muttered.
Maybe my stubbornness irritated him—his face twisted up as he glared at me like he wanted to dissect me.
“Hmph.”
Did he think that would scare me?
Maybe because death didn’t feel so far away, but I felt strangely fearless. I even snorted.
“You want something from me too, don’t you? That’s why you’re so obsessed.”
There it was—that glint in his eyes. Interest, curiosity, and beyond that, a sense of usefulness.
As if I didn’t see it.
Cheyen’s golden eyes darkened. Despite his youthful face, his long, slender fingers reached out and brushed my cheek.
“I did,” he murmured.
His gaze wavered.
“…But now I’m not so sure.”
Frustration filled his voice—he couldn’t stand that I was so fragile, yet still insisted on walking on my own two feet.
Before I could ask what he meant—
“Just this once.”
A cool energy flowed from the hand he placed on my forehead.
