“Attending physician.”
“Yes?”
“Do you think I am the only one at fault?”
“Pardon?”
“It’s true that I disliked Luzbel and tried to run away. That wasn’t right either. But what about Luzbel?”
“…Ah.”
“Luzbel didn’t do everything right either.”
Since the attending physician was, after all, Luzbel’s person, he must have simply felt pity for the superior he served, but setting all that aside, she wanted him to look at things from her position at least once.
The one who lost everything was Aisha alone. At the very least, Luzbel lived while holding on even to Aisha’s shell.
“…Yes, that’s true. I think I misspoke.”
The attending physician admitted that his arm had bent inward as well and apologized.
After all, he had justified the confinement by talking about long histories and such.
“Madam. I do not know how this may sound right now, but…”
“Mm.”
“…His Grace also regretted it greatly. He wanted to turn everything back.”
“And that kind of person locks someone up?”
“He doesn’t know. How one must act to be loved.”
After realizing that she had possessed this body, Aisha thought about her goal.
Surviving.
Yes, she didn’t want to live according to the original story and die. But after that?
Jeron was cute and lovable. Luzbel was handsome and a gentle man who only had eyes for Aisha, so she found him quite appealing.
If she could return to her original world, that would be best, but if not and she had to live here for the rest of her life, she thought she could leave in search of her own happiness.
Naturally, once Jeron grew up properly to some extent, there would be no reason for Aisha to die either.
Right now, that didn’t seem possible. Luzbel didn’t seem like he would ever let her go.
Because beneath that gentle-looking exterior lurked an obsessive madman.
“Hmmm.”
Aisha pondered deeply.
In the end, it seemed that Luzbel had confined her because he was afraid she might return to how she was before, afraid she might leave to find the person she loved.
Giving him reassurance was something she could try as much as she wanted, but the problem was the real Aisha who might still remain inside her.
‘If we get along just fine and then she suddenly comes out, it all goes to waste. Like now. Gnnngh. This is difficult.’
Without realizing it, Aisha frowned. But if she explained this situation to Luzbel, would he try to kill her, demanding that she bring out the real Aisha?
He really seemed like a man completely obsessed with Aisha.
…She would try her best, at least. She couldn’t live trapped here forever.
***
It was only late at night that the door slowly opened. The room was dark, and Aisha lay on the bed without even the slightest movement.
As if the brief happiness he had felt had been nothing more than a dream, Luzbel’s nerves were stretched thin.
“…Aisha.”
Approaching the sleeping Aisha slowly, Luzbel looked unbearably gloomy, as if he were carrying all the worries of the world.
He had confined Aisha to the room, yet whenever he had the chance, Luzbel had come to see her, when she knew nothing.
But he wasn’t shameless enough to seek her out now that she knew everything.
No, in truth, he had been too afraid to come, fearing that she might reject him.
Luzbel stood there for a long while, gazing at the sleeping Aisha. If not now, it felt as though he would have no chance to see her again.
Without sleeping a wink, he stayed by her side throughout the night.
How long had he been standing there? Only after watching the dawn break did he signal with his eyes to the attending physician who had been waiting behind him and leave his place.
As a result, the attending physician, who had been dozing off while standing with his eyes open, followed Luzbel out in a half-asleep daze.
“What did Aisha say…?”
“She did not say anything in particular. She seemed to have many thoughts, though.”
She had many thoughts?
Had she resented him? What if even the Aisha, who had lost her memories, came to hate and despise him again? His body trembled with fear, but he didn’t know what he should do.
Had the attending physician sensed Luzbel’s helplessness?
He cautiously opened his mouth.
“…Um, well.”
“Speak.”
“Please do not repeat the same mistake, Your Grace.”
“What?”
“…You know it yourself. Nothing changes by acting forcefully.”
“…”
“If you want to be loved, you need to show that you have changed. Madam has also become much gentler compared to before, so if you explain things properly, she will understand. At the very least, the current Madam is someone who knows nothing. Of course, I absolutely do not mean that you should take advantage of that. What I am saying is that you should not throw away the chance to offer a sincere apology!”
It wasn’t wrong.
Back then and now, Luzbel’s wish had never been anything grand.
When Aisha had rejected him, all he wished for was that she would at least eat properly. Even if she treated him like he was invisible, he just wanted her to live.
Not to struggle desperately trying to die, but to breathe normally.
If wanting to possess Aisha completely had been excessive greed, then he had to let it go.
“You are right.”
“…Whew.”
The attending physician seemed to have been tense, and when Luzbel accepted his words, he let out a deep sigh of relief.
He couldn’t let go of the gentle Aisha.
That moment had been too sweet. He didn’t want to return to how things were before.
So, if Aisha wanted something, no matter what it was, he thought he should grant it. Even if that meant she wanted to meet Lisellon again, he decided he wouldn’t mind.
***
The next day.
As soon as the two met, they shared their thoughts through conversation.
First of all, as if he had braced himself for some kind of reaction, Luzbel told her everything: Aisha’s past that the attending physician had explained the day before, and all the circumstances up to the point where she had been confined.
Even the events at the last party. And he apologized.
He admitted all of his faults and bowed his head, saying he would never act that way again.
“…What?”
Aisha, who had been listening quietly, grew serious, then widened her eyes in shock at the conclusion Luzbel reached.
“You’re saying I can meet my former lover?”
“Yes.”
She wondered how the conclusion had ended up like this.
Aisha felt utterly dumbfounded, yet Luzbel himself was nothing but serious. In the end, it meant he would turn a blind eye even if she had an affair.
Back when she merely turned her eyes toward someone else, he had confined her without hesitation, so had he suddenly become overly magnanimous now?
“Then what about you, Luzbel? Weren’t you afraid I would leave?”
“…I mean that if your memories return, then that would be fine. Even if it is like that, I think it would be enough for me just to be able to stay by your side.”
Only a little freedom was granted, but the conclusion was that he intended to maintain a ruined love.
For a moment she wondered if this man could think of nothing else, and then she wondered if this body was really that desirable.
“…Who is my former lover, anyway?”
“…Marquis Lisellon Erves.”
It was something she had been curious about since yesterday.
If Aisha herself had also been the daughter of a Marquis, then even if she had ended up with someone like Lisellon, it wouldn’t have been lacking in any way.
“But I’m really curious. Why did I marry you, Luzbel?”
Luzbel fell silent for a moment.
“Is it hard to say?”
“I…”
She was about to say that if it was difficult, he didn’t have to say it, when Luzbel opened his mouth first.
“I desired you. So I took you.”
Oh.
She didn’t know the details, but if it hadn’t been for him, Aisha would probably have married Lisellon.
But Luzbel had blocked that path, and in the end, even if it was one-sided love, he had achieved what he wanted.
“What kind of person is Marquis Lisellon Erves?”
“…Well.”
Was he handsome?
If she had rejected Luzbel and loved him, then he must really have been handsome.
“Is he perhaps chaste and living alone?”
“…He is married.”
“Ah.”
Aisha ended up deeply disappointed.
If he were as gentle and handsome as Luzbel, and hadn’t been able to forget her all this time and remained chaste, she thought that wouldn’t have been bad, but to think he was married.
“Then were you telling me to commit an affair with a married man? What about his wife?”
“Nobles do not care much about such things. Most marriages are political anyway.”
“Who is the wife?”
It felt like she was bombarding him with questions, but there was nothing she could do.
There was still far too much she was curious about.
“It is Rosena Erves. You would have seen her at the party back then.”
“Whoa.”
‘Then did that bastard named Lisellon marry the friend of the woman he loved?’
No wonder that woman named Rosena had given off a subtly hostile vibe toward her.
“That’s really awful.”
“Sorry?”
“The more I hear your explanation, the less I understand why I loved that person.”
Just hearing about it like this, to Aisha, Lisellon sounded like complete trash.
So he loved her, but when she ended up in a political marriage and they broke up, he married her friend. Then he came to this party, met her again, and put on a sorrowful act as if he still couldn’t forget her.
‘Fuck. Isn’t that a scumbag?’
That bastard clearly wanted to meet her while having no intention of breaking up with Rosena.
Most married men don’t want to destroy their families and just want to have some light fun.
Of course, nobles here were said to be quite open-minded or something and didn’t care much about affairs, but that didn’t seem to apply to Rosena.
If she truly didn’t care, the look she had given her back then wouldn’t have been so openly hostile.
Why would the real Aisha fall for someone like that…?
It wasn’t particularly understandable, but in any case, if the real Aisha were to appear again and cause a disturbance, Luzbel would be shocked once more.
“Luzbel.”
“Yes. Go ahead.”
“The me who has lost her memories does not like that guy.”
“…Is that… possible?”
“I do not like him. What can I do about that? If I were to briefly return to my previous self, that would be separate from who I am now. Honestly, just hearing about him like this, I don’t really know Lisellon very well.”
“Do you mean that things might change if you see him in person?”
“I do not think they would. If you hadn’t been able to marry me, what would you have done, Luzbel?”
She asked just in case.
“…I would probably have lived alone. Even if it was much later, if Aisha had said she liked me, I would have been content with that.”
That was it.
