Chapter 40
At first, it sounded like an innocent question—something anyone might ask if they didn’t know—but Cayente’s voice was laced with sharp edges.
Should I have told him? Somehow feeling like it was her fault, Yulia held her breath in the tense atmosphere. Fortunately, the tension didn’t last long. The emperor, seeing Yulia’s frightened face, chuckled knowingly.
“You don’t need to look so scary, Count Clou. Even though I’m a woman and not a man, I get terribly jealous too. Isn’t that why you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything? I was wondering how I could ask the young lady to perform again, and then I happened to hear the news. She graciously agreed to play for me, so I invited her.”
“I see.”
But Cayente’s angry air didn’t ease in the slightest, even with the emperor’s composed demeanor. Outwardly, he didn’t show much, but Yulia, who had already picked up on his mood, found it hard to bear the tension.
“The director seems to know the music teacher who taught the young lady. That’s how he is—our director. He doesn’t just guide musicians and perform well; he knows how to please me, too. Maybe that’s why he has such a talent for selecting the right music.”
“How fortunate for you.”
Yulia worried that his excessively stiff tone might be a problem, but on closer observation, it seemed the emperor had also noticed Cayente’s displeasure.
Come to think of it, even if Cayente tried hard not to show his feelings, someone like the emperor wouldn’t have missed what even Yulia noticed. Still, the emperor—who had reached the throne despite being a woman—seemed to tolerate Cayente because he genuinely believed Cayente acted that way out of love for Yulia. And perhaps he judged that stirring up trouble wouldn’t help if he didn’t intend to sever ties with Cayente anyway.
“Didn’t the count mention that the young lady would be visiting the palace today?”
That said, the emperor didn’t seem willing to accommodate Cayente’s irritation indefinitely. With a smiling face, he subtly shifted the blame onto Yulia, who could only smile awkwardly.
“Ah… well…”
If she hadn’t met Cayente the day she left the royal physician, she might’ve been able to say she didn’t get the chance to tell him. But since she met him and still chose not to mention it, she had no excuse.
If she said she didn’t tell him because she knew he would disapprove, he might become even angrier, thinking she deliberately ignored that possibility. Though she didn’t understand why he would oppose something the emperor wished for.
“Haha, I figured as much. No matter where she wanted to go, the count probably stopped her. You need to steel yourself, young lady. If you get used to that obsession from the start, it’ll be trouble later. At this rate, once you’re married, you might not be able to step outside alone.”
Yulia answered with a smile instead of words, while Cayente, still not sparing her a glance, asked:
“Yulia… do you have more business here? May I take you home?”
“So the urgent matter was coming to pick up your fiancée, was it? Haha, very well, take her. She must be tired after performing five long pieces in a row. Lady Rupert, I enjoyed your performance. I trust you’ll play again someday?”
“It would be an honor if you requested it again.”
Leaving the drawing room was a bit frightening. Yulia knew Cayente was angry, but she didn’t know exactly why, so she didn’t know what she had done wrong—or if she had done anything wrong at all.
“Who told you it was okay to play the cello in front of the emperor?”
As expected, once they were in the corridor and no one was around, Cayente halted and snapped. Yulia was afraid of him, but she wasn’t about to apologize blindly.
“I didn’t know I needed permission.”
“What?”
“I heard the emperor wanted to hear me play, so I thought it was a good opportunity…”
“Opportunity? What kind of opportunity? Why? Were you hoping to win the emperor’s favor and ask him for money or something?”
“What? Why are you bringing money into this? I just thought it was a good chance to share my music… Oh.”
She suddenly realized what he meant. He was referring to what her father had once said—that if they could repay the debt, there would be no reason for this marriage. Cayente must’ve remembered that. Yulia let out a small, incredulous laugh.
“Come on. Even if he liked my performance, would he really give me that much money just like that?”
The assumption itself was absurd, and recalling it in this context was even more ridiculous. Anyone hearing this might actually think Cayente was desperate to marry her.
“I never thought that far ahead.”
“Why not?”
“What do you mean, why not…”
“Didn’t you want to cancel this marriage if you could?”
There was a time she had thought that way. But now… if she had to be specific, she couldn’t say that anymore. And she had never told Cayente she felt that way. Or so she thought—until she remembered a past conversation.
—“Do you hate this marriage that much? Is it because it’s me? Or do you just hate the idea of marriage itself?”
—“Right now… it might be more because it’s you, Brother.”
She had said that in a moment of anger. He remembered.
Cayente seemed to truly believe Yulia didn’t want to marry him. The thought left her with an uncomfortable feeling, like she’d hurt him. So she explained herself.
“To be honest… I never planned on marriage. You’ve seen me play cello many times, so you know—I always wanted to become a professional musician more than a wife.”
Still… even if it was a marriage that happened by chance, she had hoped it would be a good one. If he was so worried something might go wrong, why had he acted like she was the one who didn’t want the marriage?
As she gathered her thoughts, Cayente cut in coldly.
“I won’t allow it.”
“What?”
“I don’t want that damn cello even entering my house.”
It looked like he might rip the cello case from her shoulder and throw it to the ground. Yulia turned away instinctively. But thankfully, he only looked at it and didn’t touch. She took a deep breath to gather her strength.
If she backed down quietly now, she would be giving up on the cello for good.
“I’ll play outside then.”
“What?”
“If I can’t play at home, I’ll go out—every day, even if I have to travel far.”
Even as Cayente’s eyes trembled with rage, Yulia held her ground. When he suddenly raised his hand, she instinctively clutched the cello case—but instead of grabbing it, he gently placed his hand on her head.
“Yulia.”
He slowly ran his hand down her long hair, then cupped her cheek. The anger in his voice disappeared as he said her name—strangely calm now.
Not knowing how to read his emotion made her more nervous. This wasn’t the kind of situation where anyone would be calm. It felt more like how adults patted a child for behaving well. He touched her cheek softly with his thumb, wearing a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Do I still look like someone easy to you?”
“Who… who could ever think that of you?”
Yulia tried to sound unaffected, but her tightening throat betrayed her nerves.
“I don’t know why… but you seem especially tense at times like this.”
This wasn’t the time or place for that kind of atmosphere, and yet Cayente’s gaze suddenly grew intense again. Before she knew it, he was holding her by the chin. She darted her eyes around to see if anyone was coming, but the hallway was still empty.
Seeing Cayente smirking as if mocking her desperation, Yulia was overcome with a surge of anger.
“Stop teasing me. If you want to kiss me, just do it. I’m not scared.”
“Who said I wanted to kiss you?”
“Then what? Why do you keep making things… feel so sticky between us?”
“Beats me.”
So… was he going to kiss her or not? His face said neither yes nor no. Yulia had long suspected he enjoyed teasing her. Now she was sure.
“Why are you like this?”
“What?”
“Why do you keep teasing me… tormenting me? What’s so wrong with the cello? Even noblewomen perform these days. It’s not like I’d neglect my duties just because I play.”
“Your duties?”
“As Countess. Running the household, managing the estate, overseeing servants, helping with business, or… bearing children.”
It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, but Cayente burst out laughing. As she looked at him, bewildered, he stopped, wiped away the smile, and stared into her eyes.
“Is that what you think I want from you?”
“Isn’t it?”
Without a trace of hesitation, Cayente replied:
“I want your unhappiness, Yulia.”
