Chapter 48
“Above all else, the most important thing is to keep your reason.”
Winter spoke in a cold, emotionless voice.
“To stay rational and follow principles. To empty yourself of emotion and avoid unnecessary assumptions. To obey orders and never question them.”
I turned my head to look at his profile.
His features were like something carved from marble — a handsome man who looked like he had walked straight out of a romance novel cover.
But in those grayish-blue eyes, I caught a glimpse of something I couldn’t quite describe — a hollow emptiness.
“That’s what matters most if you want to survive in the Border Defense Corps.”
‘…Ha, this is insane.’
If this were a romance novel, the people around him would be whispering that Winter was “a cold, heartless monster,” and the heroine would appear to heal his wounded soul.
But Winter’s stoicism and frigid demeanor were born from the world he lived in — a post-apocalyptic hell.
Had this not been such a world, Winter might have simply grown up as a slightly aloof perfectionist. Instead, this place had turned him into a principle-bound man who had discarded all emotion.
I used to never understand how he could remain loyal to the Imperial Family despite everything he’d been through — all because of the “binding contract magic” they forced upon him.
But now I got it.
He was simply doing what he had to do to survive:
Serving without emotion.
Obeying without question.
That was Winter’s way of staying alive.
Without showing it on my face, I cursed this world once again.
‘You insane, godforsaken world.’
Where the hell had the human rights of the Archons gone?
It wasn’t that the Archons were heartless monsters — this world had made them that way.
…For some reason, I suddenly remembered April, who had stormed off vowing to destroy the system of this world.
‘Go get them, April…’
Damn it, I can’t believe I’m actually rooting for that crazy woman.
Still, unlike her, I had no intention of going on some crusade to dismantle this world’s system. I’d just quietly cheer from the sidelines.
‘I swear, once I’m discharged, I’ll live the quietest life ever…’
“Salubia.”
“Yes?”
Winter’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I nearly jumped.
“Focus.”
“Yes, sir!”
Right. This was a duty that could literally cost me my life, and here I was spacing out, thinking about his backstory.
I quickly steeled my eyes and fixed my gaze on the barbed wire fence.
Then I saw it — a massive snake slithering over the right side of the fence. Its purple body with yellow spots made it clear it was a monster.
“Monster sighted. Firing.”
Bang!
If you want to survive, you have to act fast.
The creature’s body went limp and slid off the fence.
I sighed in relief.
Winter, who had been watching, gave a brief nod of approval.
“You handled that calmly. Well done, Salubia. Keep it that way.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Just as I thought the atmosphere had softened a bit, he suddenly asked me:
“Salubia, you…”
“Yes?”
“How have you lived your life?”
“…Sorry?”
“I’ve told you about myself. I thought I’d ask about you. You don’t have to answer if it’s uncomfortable.”
“Ah…”
I froze on the spot, mouth slightly open.
…Winter had asked the original heroine the same question once.
In the novel, he had pressed her with gentle curiosity, asking what her life had been like before she came to the Duke’s estate.
But just because I got the same question didn’t mean I could be like, “Oh my god, is this the start of the romance route?”
‘How have I lived…?’
There was no way I could answer that honestly.
I had faint traces of the original Salubia’s memories, sure — but I didn’t feel them. There was no emotion behind them. So what could I even say?
‘And I definitely can’t talk about my life before transmigration.’
What was I supposed to tell him?
“Yes, my hobby used to be reading novels with men who looked exactly like you, Winter. So you’re oddly familiar and not scary at all, teehee”?
Yeah, no way.
“I… I’m not really sure.”
Even though my answer sounded absurd, Winter didn’t react — just nodded as if it was natural.
“I see.”
‘God… this feels like filling out a résumé.’
Feeling awkward, I tried to add something more.
“I, uh, grew up in an orphanage. Just… sort of got by.”
In truth, the real Salubia had been an Archon who never quite fit in with the other children.
“Anyway, this place is worse than that.”
I shrugged, trying to make it sound lighthearted.
“I just want to get discharged. Honestly, anywhere’s better than here.”
Yeah, that was all I could say about my past.
I couldn’t talk about me from Earth either.
All I remembered from that life was my name.
‘I should be grateful that I even remember that much…’
I buried the most precious memory — my name — deep in my heart, where no one would ever find it.
After that, duty continued as usual.
I got more accustomed to guard duty and stopped being afraid of it — though getting assigned to night shifts was still hellish.
Unlike Winter, the other seniors were more relaxed during watch duty, and I’d gotten close enough with them to chat about all sorts of things.
“God, I wanna desert so bad…”
Muttering to myself, I headed toward the mess hall.
I had the noon shift today — time to stuff down lunch as fast as possible.
As Salubia’s back disappeared into the distance, Milfi turned to Benny with a serious look.
“Benny, doesn’t Salubia’s gaze look… sharper lately?”
Basically, she was saying, “Doesn’t she look like she’s losing her mind?”
“Yes… Salubia is an excellent senior. Except, um… sometimes she speaks a little too freely when things happen.”
Meaning: Salubia treated her well but scared the life out of her when she started swearing during extra work.
“Maybe the guard duty’s really getting to her.”
“Yes. It seems to… change people.”
Meaning: “She’s definitely going crazy.”
The two exchanged glances and nodded in silent agreement.
‘She’s clearly losing it — let’s stay out of her sight!’
Discharge D–2098 days.
“Ugh… I’m sugar-deprived…”
After finishing my shift, I slumped against Aquila and groaned.
“I want a brioche… a lemon cake… a financier…”
Those were baked sweets I used to eat all the time before transmigrating — and hadn’t tasted once since falling into this world.
Damn it. This was supposed to be a romance fantasy world — and yet I couldn’t even get a Western dessert?
I buried my face in Aquila’s shoulder. I always got cranky and exhausted when my blood sugar dropped, and since there was still time before the next meal, my condition plummeted fast.
“You want something sweet?”
“Yeah… I’m dizzy as hell…”
Mumbling into his shoulder, I felt Aquila’s warm hand pat my head. The warmth helped, a little.
“Salubia!”
It was Benny’s voice. I was too tired to respond.
“Ah, there you are— oh my!”
I lifted my head to find Benny staring, wide-eyed.
“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt—!”
“No, wait, hold on.”
I could already tell what she was imagining, and explaining would only make it worse.
Normally she wore a calm, innocent expression, but right now she looked like she was living for this misunderstanding.
“Hehe… perfect…”
“What?”
“Eh?”
“What did you just say?”
“N-nothing at all.”
…Yeah, no, she totally denied muttering to herself. But whatever.
“So why were you looking for me?”
“Ah, there’s a new recruit! I wondered if you’d seen him…”
“I don’t care about recruits. Half of them die anyway.”
Benny’s face twitched strangely at that.
“This time, there’s only one.”
“Uh-huh. Well, if he survives more than three months, I’ll get to know him then.”
“…If I may say so…”
Benny hesitated before speaking carefully.
“This one’s definitely going to survive.”
“Why, is he some kind of genius?”
“You’ll see…”
She kept insisting I come see him, so Aquila and I finally went to watch the training ground.
When we arrived, several other soldiers were already hiding behind walls, peeking out and murmuring in awe.
“Whoa…”
And I couldn’t help but be amazed too.
Even Aquila — who usually disapproved of me paying attention to new recruits — nodded in agreement.
“This one’s really…”
I didn’t even know how to finish the sentence.
“Really strong.”
The new recruit was an enormous, muscular man with a rough face and a thick beard that made him look terrifyingly tough.
“…What’s his name?”
“They say it’s Sanchez.”
“Oh…”
I repeated the name, impressed.
“Even his name sounds strong…”
Yeah, that was all I could say.
This Sanchez looked like pure brute force personified — gray hair, wolfish gray eyes, a rugged beard straight out of a martial arts novel, muscles that could crush boulders.
He was breezing through Sergeant El’s drills with no effort, even looking slightly bored.
I suddenly pitied the sergeants who’d have to command him.
If it were me, I’d be too scared to even raise my voice at him.
Ranks mattered, sure, but sometimes… self-preservation mattered more.
“How old is he?”
I asked, staring at his weathered face that looked like it had seen decades of battle. Benny’s answer made me choke.
“He’s my age.”
“Pfft—! Cough, cough!”
I started coughing so hard that Aquila had to rub my back. Benny just blushed and grinned mischievously.
Why was she always so weird only at times like this?
“Remind me, how old are you again?”
“Eighteen.”
Right. Benny was a year younger than me — eighteen.
So Sanchez was eighteen?
Her age?
Karon’s age??
“…Kids these days sure grow up fast.”
I muttered blankly.
“Man, other people’s kids are so mature…”
Thinking of Karon still whining for my attention, I sighed, and Aquila nodded beside me.
“I told you, it’s because you spoil him too much.”
I almost snapped back, but when Benny smirked again with that sly expression, I decided to just let it go.
Seriously, was she possessed or something?
