Chapter 16
My eyelids trembled.
It was the first time I’d ever felt this kind of tension — a heat that made my heart swell until it felt like it would burst.
My breath came short. My lips were dry, so before he even touched me, I ran my tongue over them.
Then Hares moved the hand that was cupping my cheek and pressed his thumb slowly against my lips.
The slight pressure, the slow movement across the wet surface — it sent heat all the way to my head, making it spin.
When I looked up, Hares’s eyes were filled with the same kind of unsteady warmth.
The way his thumb moved — deliberate, slow, almost hesitant — carried a clear, physical meaning.
I couldn’t help it; my lips parted slightly.
My hot breath slipped through them and brushed against his hand.
The air felt thick, heavy — as if the world had stopped breathing.
I lifted my trembling eyes to meet his, silently pleading.
I didn’t know how to explain it — but I wanted him to do something. To release this unbearable heat building between us.
I looked up at him as if begging.
But instead, Hares’s face tightened with pain.
He kept tracing the edge of my lips with that same hand, touching even the damp skin inside — but he didn’t cross the line.
My breaths trembled, waiting.
I waited for him to move first — for him to take one more step past that invisible boundary between us.
Just like I had crossed mine the day I confessed.
If even a part of his heart had wavered because of that confession, I wanted him to show it — to reach out and come to me.
But then, a deep sigh escaped his lips.
And the warmth that had surrounded me… disappeared.
My mind went completely blank.
What did that mean?
He’d been about to kiss me — and then stopped.
I just stood there, eyes flickering open and shut, not knowing what to do.
Thoughts I didn’t want to have began to swarm in, whispering things I didn’t want to believe.
‘So… he really can’t see me that way?’
Even if I told myself otherwise, doubt pressed down on me like a weight.
The heat between us vanished in an instant.
I couldn’t even ask him why.
He stepped back slightly, and my lips trembled.
Why had he stopped?
Had he been testing whether he could see me as a woman?
“…Sorry.”
Hares’s voice was low — almost a whisper.
He was apologizing. For what he had almost done.
And I didn’t know what to say. I was afraid that whatever came next would hurt too much.
I had told myself I’d accept rejection calmly if it came. That I wouldn’t regret confessing.
But this — this half-finished silence — hurt more than either yes or no.
“I think I was too hasty,” he said.
“What?”
“I’m sorry. I let my emotions get ahead of me. I shouldn’t have done that.”
I stared blankly. Shouldn’t have done that?
He didn’t explain. He just kept speaking in fragments, like he was trying to convince himself.
“I’m sorry. Just… give me a little more time. I must’ve lost my mind for a second.”
His voice shook slightly as he took a step back.
“I never thought… that we’d end up like this. Not even a few days ago. I’m sorry.”
“…It’s okay. I understand. You’re confused.”
I nodded quietly. It was fine. It had to be.
But inside, my mind kept spinning.
‘In the original story, Hares kissed Eve without hesitation.’
When he realized his feelings for her, he didn’t hold back — not like this.
But with me… he wasn’t sure.
‘Was this just a test — to see if he could think of me as a woman?’
And maybe… I had failed that test.
I nodded awkwardly again and stepped back.
“Sorry. I should go.”
“Lize, wait— What I was trying to do just now…”
“You don’t have to say it. I know this isn’t easy for you either.”
If I had a real brother, would I ever want to kiss him?
Of course not. The very thought was disgusting.
Maybe that’s what this felt like to Hares — uncomfortable, unnatural, confusing.
“I’m sorry. It’s just… been a long, emotional day. I should go inside.”
And that’s when I noticed it — the bandage around his hand.
‘Why is his hand wrapped?’
For a second, worry flared in my chest.
But I didn’t ask.
If I started that conversation, I might hear something I wasn’t ready to hear yet.
I wasn’t strong enough for that.
So instead, like a coward, I turned and fled.
I couldn’t bear the weight of his eyes following me.
Thankfully, Hares didn’t chase after me.
He just stood there — in the garden, silent, unmoving — like someone who’d left something important unsaid.
And then, he disappeared.
I thought I’d cry.
But no tears came.
Maybe because deep down, I’d already known this was coming.
Maybe I’d already prepared myself for it.
Another day passed — slow, heavy, full of silence.
No message from Hares.
Instead, a letter arrived — from Killian.
“Miss, a letter’s here! It’s from that gentleman again!”
Betty, who had no idea what was going on, was practically glowing with excitement.
“This is it! I bet he’s going to propose soon! I just know it! Oh, Miss, I hope you finally get to leave this creepy big house!”
I laughed weakly. “Do you really think I can get married?”
But her words lingered.
What if Hares’s answer really is a rejection?
It probably would be.
If he said he couldn’t see me that way — what then?
Would I ever be able to dream of marrying someone else?
I was twenty-one — young, yes, but for a noblewoman, that was marriage age.
After Princess Elisabeth’s love marriage had caused a stir among the nobility, romantic marriages had become fashionable.
Now most nobles around my age freely dated before marrying — unlike the strict arranged marriages of before.
But still, twenty-one to twenty-four was the proper window.
If I didn’t find someone by then, whispers would start.
And after growing up craving warmth and affection, my biggest dream had always been to build a happy home of my own.
And I had always wanted that home… with Hares.
“Ugh,” I sighed.
Betty blinked. “What’s wrong? Is the gentleman ugly after all?”
She thought Killian was courting me — and I didn’t have the courage to correct her.
She’d seen how close Hares and I were. If she knew what had really happened, she’d probably faint.
After all, we’d been like siblings for years.
I could understand why Hares was so confused.
I took a deep breath and opened Killian’s letter.
You must have heard about the hunting festival tomorrow. I know things haven’t been good between you and Hares lately — and I’m also not on the best terms with Lady Rotecia these days.
I read it without much interest.
At least it meant Killian’s “joke” the other night had been just that — a joke.
If he was fighting with Eve, that meant they were still seeing each other privately.
Good.
Even if he had once taken an interest in me, it wouldn’t last long.
I hoped not.
My head was already full of Hares — I didn’t have room for Killian too.
Honestly, I didn’t even want to go.
But the last line caught my eye.
Of course, this isn’t just an invitation. Consider it my way of using the favor you promised me last time.
I blinked, then groaned.
Right — I had said that, hadn’t I?
“I hope it stays as a joke. If you ever need help with Lady Rotecia, I’ll help once.”
“Unbelievable,” I muttered. “He never misses a chance to benefit himself.”
I stood up, annoyed.
“Betty, I’m going to the hunting festival tomorrow. I’ll write a reply — please send it for me.”
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