CHAPTER 49………………………………….
“Park Jin?”
You’re asking about Park Jin now, just when I barely survived?
Chohui blinked in disbelief.
“Why… why did you want to save him so badly? Do you have feelings for him after all?”
Dowoon’s voice trembled slightly, as if he were witnessing something terrifying.
“Why do you want to know?”
“…….”
Chohui thought he might answer if she called it a dream, but Dowoon seemed unsure even of his own reason, pressing his lips tightly together.
She had expected an answer, yet strangely, her chest felt warm and soft.
“It’s not Park Jin.”
“…Not him?”
“The one I asked you to save yesterday… it wasn’t Park Jin. It was someone who looked like him. My student.”
Shinsil.
Perhaps it was because Dowoon still seemed hazy or the early morning air, but once she spoke, the story about Shinsil flowed without difficulty.
She had thought it would be hard to say, but surprisingly, telling him everything wasn’t difficult.
What Shinsil had meant to her, and what had happened in the end.
Dowoon silently listened to Chohui’s story without interruption.
“…You must have had it really hard. To have gone through that.”
“It felt… overlapping. I couldn’t save Shinsil, but if I saved Park Jin… maybe my heart would feel a little better.”
“…….”
“But I swear, if I had known you’d get hurt like this, I would never have sent him.”
Dowoon, still with his hazy eyes, stared at her wordlessly instead of replying.
Could it be… he didn’t believe her?
“I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
At those words, Dowoon let out a soft chuckle and murmured to himself.
“Dreams are nice, indeed.”
It seemed Dowoon still thought their conversation was a dream.
He shouldn’t, but… Chohui cleared her throat and continued speaking.
It was something she had wanted to say for a long time, an old question she had never dared voice.
“Since this is a dream, I have one question too.”
“What is it?”
“Why… why are you so determined? What do you gain from doing all this? I really… can’t understand.”
Dowoon furrowed his brow.
“What do you mean?”
“What you’re doing. The independence movement.”
“…….”
Dowoon’s expression stiffened slightly at Chohui’s scolding, but she pressed on.
“Does the country come back if you sacrifice your life? Do the people who died come back? Nothing will change, so why… why go this far?”
Though she was asking Dowoon, the question wasn’t only for him.
She was curious.
Even though her father abandoned the family, he had joined the cause. Her older brother had joined to the very end. Shinsil had, Park Jin had.
And even Dowoon, who should have focused solely on business, risked his life.
Even if his comrades with the same ideals died, how could someone maintain that level of passion?
What was a country really worth?
What was the homeland that one must protect even at the cost of betraying the people they love?
Chohui could never understand. That was why she felt they were on parallel lines.
Dowoon silently listened to her voice, trembling with emotion.
“You all are so selfish.”
“…Selfish?”
“And if you die? What about those left behind? Families who must live with the guilt of not stopping you? Why endure sacrifice for a country that’s supposedly so noble?”
Silence fell again.
“…It’s not for the country.”
Dowoon replied slowly, without a trace of hesitation.
“It’s for the people you love.”
“What do you mean?”
“The people who will be left behind. In other words, it’s for the ones you love. You want them to live in a free country… Isn’t that the same for you?”
“Me?”
Chohui pointed at herself. When had she ever done such a thing?
“When you asked me to save Park Jin, when you held onto your student Shinsil. Wasn’t it because you wanted them unharmed?”
“Of course.”
“That feeling. The desire for the people you love not to get hurt right now. The wish for them not to be caught by the authorities. The hope they can speak freely in Korean without being stared at. Those feelings gather together.”
“…….”
At first, Chohui didn’t fully understand Dowoon.
But the idea of those ‘feelings’ resonated with her.
Her brother, Bok, Park Jin… Dowoon, all safe and happy.
She had held that same wish all along.
And those feelings gathered into the independence movement?
Until now, she had thought of it as an idealistic, unrealistic struggle for a nation.
But if it was for the people they loved…
She could begin to understand.
Dowoon turned his head slightly on the pillow, affected by the medicine again.
“…For the people you love?”
“Yes.”
“Then… who are you doing it for?”
If the movement was for loved ones, then Dowoon must have someone important, someone he loved.
Someone precious he had even before meeting Chohui.
Thinking that made her chest tighten again.
“…Who is it, the person you love?”
“I… wait, why do you want to know?”
She thought he might answer in his drowsiness, but he was unexpectedly sharp. Chohui fumbled, embarrassed.
“It’s just… surrendering for the one you love feels so romantic.”
She tried to sound composed, but bitterness filled her mouth.
“Romantic… it doesn’t feel like that.”
Dowoon smiled wryly.
Now fully succumbing to sleep, his eyelids closed.
“Dowoon?”
No reply came. Only the sound of his breathing returned.
In the end, she didn’t get an answer.
Hearing him speak, part of her felt lighter, yet another part felt heavy.
The independence movement.
Chohui had once resented that everyone she loved joined it.
But after listening to Dowoon, and living here, she began to understand, little by little, what they were trying to achieve.
And that she herself was no different from them.
Yet, a nagging feeling remained.
“For whom… does Dowoon do it? Who does he love so much…?”
Thump.
Her heart seemed to drop.
As if a sharp blade had pierced through her chest.
When she realized Dowoon was gone, when she learned he had been shot, and now when he confessed he loved someone.
It all felt the same.
Now she understood. The dizzying, confusing emotions finally became clear.
The fear of losing Dowoon, and…
“Foolish.”
Tears welled in Chohui’s eyes.
The moment Dowoon confessed he loved someone, she realized…
She loved him.
Paradoxically, yet undeniably.
Morning sunlight woke Dowoon.
His waist still ached sharply, but he felt much better than yesterday.
He got up from the bed and looked around, but Chohui was nowhere to be seen.
‘I could’ve sworn she was here.’
Her lingering image passed through his mind. They had talked late into the night, hadn’t they?
‘Was it a dream?’
Thinking back on their conversation, he realized it must have been a hallucination from the medicine.
Otherwise, how could Chohui have known his true identity?
…No way.
Dowoon shook his head.
No, she couldn’t have known.
If she had, there’d be no reason for her to be bound by their contract. She would have realized that his threats about her brother meant nothing.
Then there’d be no reason to obey him.
‘It was a dream.’
As he shook his head again, Chohui entered the room.
“You’re awake? Why don’t you sleep a bit longer?”
She carried a basin of water and approached him. She wet a towel in it.
“How’s your body feeling?”
“…What time is it?”
“It’s not yet five o’clock.”
Chohui naturally sat in front of him, placing her hand on his forehead and then the back of her hand on his cheek.
He flinched. That touch, as natural as it felt, was unfamiliar.
“Good. It seems your fever broke last night.”
“…….”
“Dowoon?”
Normally, she wouldn’t have touched him first. Is she doing this because I’m sick?
Chohui, outwardly cool, was actually warm-hearted. Sometimes, he wished she could be a little harsh.
And she was always especially caring toward someone who was ill.
So… it wasn’t because of special feelings.
“Why are you like this?”
“…You were too casual with touching me.”
“Ah!”
Chohui quickly withdrew her hand.
Her reddened face seemed to apologize for her boldness, and he couldn’t help but find it cute, wanting to tease her.
He shouldn’t, but lately he wanted to playfully tease her all the time.
“Sorry! I just wanted to check your temperature—”
“You must have been touching me all night.”
“Wh-what nonsense!”
Chohui, feeling guilty, deliberately acted annoyed.
“I didn’t touch you at all.”
“Really?”
“Do I look like a pervert? Touching someone unconscious?”
Good grief! Chohui emphasized her innocence.
Though now she had feelings for him, so she wasn’t entirely innocent. But she couldn’t admit her feelings.
Dowoon frowned in mock disappointment, lowering his eyebrows as if displeased.
“I didn’t know you were such a cold-hearted person.”
“Wh-what did you say?”
“What if you had gotten seriously sick last night with a high fever?”
“Ah, what are you even saying now!”
Chohui snapped. Touch him and you’re a pervert; don’t touch him and you’re cold-hearted. What kind of logic is that?
She shouted in indignation, but
“Ha ha.”
Dowoon laughed, breaking his stern expression. She realized he was teasing her and shot him a glare.
“You seem better now? Enough to joke like this?”
“No, still hurts.”
“Hurts? You look perfectly fine.”
She grumbled deliberately, then wrung the towel she had soaked in water, ready to clean his wounds.
‘Now I have to see the injuries…’
She swallowed hard.
It was different from yesterday. Yesterday, she had been too frantic about his injury to care whether he removed his shirt.
But now, she was calmer.
And now, aware of her feelings, her heartbeat thundered in her fingertips, as if her heart would betray her.
Dowoon eyed the towel in her hands suspiciously.
