CH:09
Of course, she knew it was too soon to feel that way. This was only their third meeting. Even if she added up all the time they’d spent together, it didn’t amount to half a day. But even so, Amelia was certain of what she felt.
“Ivan.”
Ivan was the best person Amelia had ever met in her life. Her world was too small, too closed off. A person like Ivan was a first for her.
“I like you.”
When Amelia casually said those words, Ivan’s eyes crinkled as he smiled.
“What an honor.”
He said it was an honor, but he didn’t act particularly honored. It was more like someone watching a small, cute thing come up to them and nuzzle. As if she were nothing more than a cat.
“Have a drink.”
Ivan motioned toward the bottle. Amelia took it with both hands, her face set with resolve as she tilted it toward her lips.
“…!”
Without fear, she drank it like water, opening her throat wide. But then her eyes shot open. It was as if she spat out almost everything she drank—her face scrunched like a crumpled piece of paper.
“This…”
She couldn’t even finish her sentence as she pointed at the bottle in her right hand.
“What is this taste?”
She asked in a whisper, as if stunned. She looked like she wanted to scream, but was holding herself back because she wasn’t supposed to be loud. Just from her expression, it seemed this was the most horrible thing she’d ever tasted in her life.
“What does it taste like?”
“It’s bitter and it makes my tongue numb.”
Amelia mumbled and stuck out her tongue slightly. Her red tongue looked soft.
“Why do people drink this?”
She asked as if it made no sense. Ivan wasn’t exactly a heavy drinker either, but even he found the childlike question amusing.
“Ha.”
Amelia leaned her face against her knees, sitting right next to Ivan. Then she stared at his laughing face as if mesmerized. Even in the dim prayer room without a light, his face was clearly visible under the moonlight. Ivan was undoubtedly a handsome man. That was one of the few things Amelia had ever felt certain about in her life.
…
Was that why she liked him so much? She was thinking that when Ivan, sensing the intense gaze on him, gradually stopped laughing and met her eyes. There was still a faint smile lingering around his eyes.
“They say drinking makes you feel better. Even if it tastes like that.”
When Ivan said that, Amelia frowned and shook her head.
“How could it?”
“Well, that’s what they say, so maybe it’s true.”
Ivan gently took the bottle from Amelia’s hand and brought it to his lips. Amelia watched as the amber liquid tilted and slid into his mouth.
“I don’t really get the taste either, to be honest.”
He wiped a stray drop from his lips and his eyes met Amelia’s wide ones.
“You said you go to taverns often, right?”
“I never said I went often.”
It seemed odd to her that someone who supposedly frequented taverns didn’t understand the taste of alcohol. But the truth was, Ivan didn’t enjoy drinking. He liked cigars even less.
“You’re not even drunk, so how could you think like that?”
Rodan, after all, had found Ivan’s decisions horrifying precisely because he wasn’t drunk when making them.
“Are you going to quit being a priest?”
He was shaking off the moisture on his hand when Amelia asked.
“Probably.”
Ivan answered quickly. After all, an emperor couldn’t remain a priest. Especially not one serving a god he despised—and her proxy, no less.
“I see…”
Though he hadn’t really been a priest to begin with. Ivan looked carefully at Amelia’s face as she vaguely responded. It was an odd expression.
“Do you want to leave this place too?”
As if testing her, Ivan asked casually while glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.
“Hmm…”
Amelia hesitated. She wasn’t sure if she could be honest. But Ivan, misinterpreting her silence, chuckled.
“Ah, right.”
“…”
“You’re bound to this place until death.”
Amelia flinched at his words.
“Until the day the god kills me, the place my soul is bound to is here.”
That was the oath of the first priestess. No one knew why that vow had been made, but because of it, Amelia’s mother, grandmother, and all their ancestors had been bound to this land.
“When I leave, I’m thinking of working for the imperial court.”
Ivan was relieved she didn’t ask why such an oath existed—but that relief didn’t last long. Amelia tilted her head at his next comment.
“The imperial court?”
Since he was the emperor, it made sense for him to work there. But to Amelia, who didn’t know that, it was confusing.
“They pay the best.”
Ivan replied smoothly.
“Unlike what you think, the emperor didn’t seem like such a bad guy.”
He added, as if it were nothing, that the emperor wasn’t so bad. Ivan was quite skilled at distancing himself from his own identity.
“I don’t hate the emperor.”
Amelia said, as if it was the first time she’d heard something so strange. And she truly felt no animosity toward the imperial family of Escliff.
“You oppose everything they try to do.”
“That’s…”
She hadn’t done that herself. Amelia had only taken her position a year ago, after her mother’s death. And even that hadn’t been her mother’s will, she was certain of it.
“Everyone says the priestess and the imperial family don’t get along. That’s not true?”
“No, it’s not.”
Amelia denied it. No priestess had ever left the temple walls of her own accord. There was no real reason for animosity or hostility toward the imperial family.
“Then? Was what the emperor tried to do truly wrong?”
Suddenly, her head felt dizzy.
“I just follow the will.”
The words came out without her thinking. She blinked away the heat in her eyes. She had only tasted a few drops of alcohol, but it felt like she was drunk for the first time in her life.
“Ah, I see.”
“…”
“That’s interesting.”
Ivan murmured as he set the bottle down. A moment later, he chuckled to himself. Even though there was nothing particularly funny.
“Ivan.”
He looked displeased even while laughing. Amelia reached out with a worried expression and touched his face. His skin was smooth, but not soft like hers. It had a sleekness to it.
“Why do you look like that?”
“Like what?”
“You look upset.”
Ivan blinked slowly, as if annoyed at being so easily seen through.
“It’s late. You should head back.”
He brushed off her hand and stood up.
“Are you mad?”
Amelia asked, looking up at him with clear eyes. Ivan was speechless. There was no reason for a trainee priestess’s words to upset him—unless he was the emperor. But he couldn’t say that.
“I’m not mad.”
“Liar.”
Amelia pouted.
“What did I do wrong? Won’t you tell me?”
She sounded almost like she was pleading. For some reason, clinging to Ivan didn’t feel embarrassing. Her pride wasn’t hurt. Probably because Ivan never laughed at her for it.
“I’m scared you won’t come back if you stay mad at me.”
Ivan stared down at the small hand clinging to his sleeve. He let out a quiet sigh. He hated feeling bothered.
Ivan reached out to brush away her hand. But just as his fingertips touched her soft skin—
“I’m afraid of dogs!”
Amelia suddenly blurted out her fear. Ivan raised an eyebrow, as if to say, So what?
“When I see one, my body freezes, and I can’t move. It’s a real secret—you’re the first person I’ve told.”
“…”
“So will you forgive me now?”
Amelia shook his sleeve slightly. Like a child begging. In moments like this, she didn’t seem like someone who had lived over 200 years. She seemed so young.
Well, maybe that’s why she’d come to like him—whether as a friend, or something else. Amelia’s feelings toward Ivan were special. And Ivan, being the shrewd man he was, had quickly realized it.
“…Alright.”
Finally hearing the answer she wanted, Amelia beamed. Even though she’d handed over two of her secrets, she didn’t seem to know how dangerous that was.
Ivan stared at the scattered, colorful light of the stained glass reflecting over Amelia’s white skin. Beautiful like the glass itself, yet jagged in a way that looked as if it could cut her at any moment. Just like Ivan’s presence in her life.
And in that moment, Ivan had a chilling realization—
This woman will one day die because of the feelings she has for me.
