Thinking about it, hadn’t I died in his arms just a few days before that?
“I assumed that would be the case since time had been turned back, but when I actually faced you, alive and well, it was truly not easy to pretend nothing was wrong and act as though I did not know you. Honestly, I just wanted to call your name and pull you into my arms.”
He, who had been looking at me with affectionate eyes, suddenly asked as if something had come to mind.
“…Ah, then is the reason you do not like cold weather or snow also because of the memory of that death? In your previous life, it seemed you liked sitting by the window and watching the snow.”
I recalled how, in the early days after regressing, whenever I became absent-minded or my expression worsened while watching the falling snow, Rastan’s expression as he looked at me had also become strange.
Each time, I had thought he looked like he was thinking about something, but to think he had been thinking about me from my previous life.
“How did you know?”
“Because I liked watching you at times like that.”
“Why…?”
“Because you smile when you watch the snow. You are most beautiful when you have a bright expression.”
At those unexpected words, my cheeks grew warm.
“I wanted to see that expression of yours, so much that I wished it would snow every time we met for business matters. And I could not forgive those people who took that smile from you and gradually made you wither.”
Ah.
“So that is why you said before that helping me take revenge on House Lansval was also your revenge.”
“That is correct. Since you wished to do it yourself, I only helped, but to be honest, I wanted to use far more cruel methods.”
At the unexpected harsh word, my eyes widened, and Rastan immediately apologized with a startled expression.
“…I am sorry. Even though I have lived while accumulating good deeds for a long time, it seems my fundamental nature does not change easily.”
“What? No. It is just that, until now, I thought you were only upright and kind, so it’s surprising that you had thoughts like that inside. It made you feel more human, I guess.”
Rastan smiled back at me as I laughed softly.
“Still, I am glad that you took revenge in a human way. Otherwise, I might have taken revenge in a demon’s way, accumulated evil deeds again, and ended up far beyond the reach of heaven.”
His smile seemed to turn self-mocking before his gaze became serious.
“Do you know the very first thing I did after realizing I had returned to the past?”
He reached his hand across the table and gently took mine.
“In this life, I resolved that at the very least, I would not let you enter that damned man’s family. I would not let you suffer in that hellish place like you did back then.”
‘Even though I never told him, he knew.’
I had tried to hide it because I didn’t want him to see me like that, but it seemed Rastan knew everything.
“Because watching you, the one I love, wither away day by day was truly painful for me as well.”
“Love…?”
At my stunned question, Rastan nodded.
“Back then, I met you only after you were already married, so I could not convey my feelings to you.”
At his words, I recalled how he had treated me unusually well in my previous life, even though he had called himself my business partner or friend.
“No wonder your treatment of me was always excessive for something meant for just a friend.”
Perhaps recalling himself from that time, he let out a faint, silent laugh.
“And the second thing I resolved was that in this life, I would definitely have you. That is why I resorted to tricks like proposing a contract marriage to you.”
‘Tricks, he says.’
At the word that didn’t suit him at all, I ended up laughing along with him.
After I learned his true identity and accepted it, Rastan occasionally showed sides of himself different from the upright image I had known.
“Haha, no wonder. We had barely known each other for long, and even if it was a contract, I was surprised that you proposed marriage right away.”
“I was impatient. You have no idea how anxious I was when you did not fall for that shallow ploy.”
Without knowing his feelings, I had bluntly said, ‘I do not want to get married. Let us just remain friends.’
I felt a little sorry, but also found it endearing that he had been so anxious.
“Still, it did not show on the outside.”
“Now that I think about it, perhaps I should have shown more of that desperation.”
We looked at each other and let out soft, breathy laughs.
With a calm smile, Rastan quietly played with my hand before speaking again.
“At the time, I was in such a hurry that, as you said, even though it was a contract marriage, proposing to you in such a businesslike manner weighed on my mind all along.”
“No. It was not a real proposal anyway.”
It had been a lighthearted reply, but seeing his face suddenly darken at those words, I realized something.
From Rastan’s perspective, that had been a real proposal.
With his gaze lowered, he spoke carefully.
“Evelyn. As I built feelings with you, I newly learned what love is. Not merely knowing of love, which does not exist in hell, but feeling it with my heart.”
Then had the demon named Leviathan become a being farther from hell because of me?
Had his soul now become closer to that of a human than a demon?
“At that time, I thought it was enough just to convey my intention to marry you. But now, I want to put my true feelings for you into it.”
He stood up and walked right in front of me, then knelt on one knee and took my hand.
Before I even had time to be surprised, he looked up at me and spoke earnestly.
“Evelyn Krone. Since you saved me, will you allow me to live by your side for the rest of my life, for your happiness?”
In that moment, many thoughts crossed my mind.
‘Now that the curse has been completely removed, he no longer needs my ability.’
So this proposal wasn’t because he needed some part of me, but simply because he wanted to be with me completely.
And moreover, he said he wanted to make me happy without any desire to gain something in return.
‘My husband from my previous life, my so-called family, and even Ifrit, who called himself my friend, all treated me like something to be bought and sold in the end.’
Before I knew it, my vision blurred with tears.
My throat tightened, and I barely managed to open my mouth and answer haltingly.
“Now I understand. In every life, the only person who truly loved me was you.”
I tried to hold it back, but the tears that had gathered finally fell, wetting our tightly clasped hands.
“Thank you for coming back to me again, even across lifetimes. Here on this earth, and later in heaven, I want to be with you forever.”
At my answer, Rastan’s face, which had been filled with earnestness, lit up brightly.
It was the brightest expression I had ever seen in all the time I had known him.
“Thank you, Evelyn. Truly, thank you.”
Then he took out a ring case from his chest.
Only then did I realize that everything prepared here today had been for this proposal.
“Evelyn, your hand.”
At his words, I gently extended my slightly trembling left hand, and he took it and placed the ring on my fourth finger.
The beautifully crafted ring shone brilliantly even under the dim candlelight.
“Wow, it is truly beautiful.”
“I am really glad you like it.”
Rastan rose to his feet and held my hand, helping me stand as well.
Then he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, pulling our bodies completely flush together.
“You are mine now, forever. And of course, I am yours too.”
His tall, smooth nose and captivating lips drew close, and before I knew it, our lips met.
The kiss, which had felt like a gentle caress, deepened immediately when my lips parted slightly.
As my mind reeled as if struck by electricity, I had a somewhat odd thought.
After a while, when his lips finally pulled away slightly, I voiced that thought.
“Come to think of it, we do not really need to have physical contact anymore, do we?”
Until now, under the excuse of easing Rastan’s curse, we had clung to each other and kissed whenever we could.
Now that the curse was gone, there was no longer any ‘need’ for us to do that.
It was something I had said playfully, expecting him to be a little flustered.
But instead of being flustered, he looked at me leisurely and gave a crooked smile.
“There has never been a time when my personal desires were not mixed in whenever I touched you.”
