As expected, it seemed Ris hadn’t misspoken.
“Ah, has Master not told you yet?”
She was someone who answered everything immediately, but this time, unlike usual, she hesitated briefly even under my questioning and ultimately avoided answering.
“Since it is a very important matter, I believe it would be best for you to hear it directly from Master.”
“Alright… I understand.”
I was curious about what it was, but since she reacted like this, I couldn’t force her to answer right away.
After finishing our conversation, Ris left the room, wishing me good night. Once I was alone, my thoughts became even more complicated.
‘Yes, even in my previous life, Rastan was certainly a good person.’
It was only hidden behind his cold-looking demeanor, but his bearing was always upright as if measured with a ruler, and his actions were always correct.
‘But… to think that such a perfect-seeming person was actually a being from the demonic realm.’
No matter that it was Rastan, regardless of my religion, I couldn’t help the instinctive sense of unease. And besides.
“What if all of this is a play orchestrated by Rastan? What if he’s manipulating people to reassure me?”
Ris said she was loyal to him of her own will, but what if even that was something Rastan had instructed her to say? Now that I knew everything, I couldn’t shake off such suspicions.
Perhaps because I fell asleep filled entirely with anxiety and a sinking mood, my dream that night was utterly desolate.
Fortunately, since it was a space-time under my dominion, it didn’t become a nightmare, but it was a landscape depressing enough just to look at.
After looking around the space in my dream, I let out a bitter, faint laugh.
“It’s almost an apocalypse atmosphere.”
However, I didn’t have the strength to deliberately change it into a place where a stream flowed gently and birds chirped, so I remained crouched in that gloomy space and spent the entire night thinking about Rastan.
But no clear answer came.
***
The next day.
Because we woke up at different times, we ate breakfast separately, and I only met Rastan at lunchtime.
His face was growing darker with each passing day. Shadows had fallen under his eyes, and overall he gave off a somewhat precarious atmosphere.
‘It’s quite serious. Surely it’s not that something else happened.’
Rastan’s dark complexion suddenly weighed on my mind, and I couldn’t help but ask. Perhaps the kind side of him that Ris had spoken of yesterday had slightly eased my wariness.
“Are you having nightmares again?”
Even though I wasn’t sleeping beside him these days, since he still slept near me, my ability would surely reach his dreams.
‘It just bothers me a little that I haven’t gone to check these past few days.’
Perhaps because it had been a while since he heard me ask about his well-being, Rastan looked at me with slightly widened eyes before slowly opening his mouth.
“My dreams are not a problem.”
But his face looked far too unwell for someone sleeping without nightmares.
“That is a relief. But why does your face look like that?”
He hesitated for a moment, but answered honestly as usual.
“…I can barely sleep.”
“What? Why? Is that also related to your curse?”
He quietly shook his head.
“Because I am anxious.”
“What?”
“When I think that you might abandon me, I feel anxious and depressed, and I cannot sleep. If you leave, I might have to live every day having nightmares like before. That would be a problem as well, but…”
His lowered blue eyes sank in sorrow.
“When I think that you will never be by my side again, my chest feels tightly blocked, and I feel suffocated, and tears come. Sometimes, it becomes difficult even to breathe.”
At his earnest words, my heart sank heavily. I was definitely wavering.
But I forced myself to steady my mind.
‘Anyone would react like this. If someone with such a beautiful face spoke this sorrowfully.’
I bit my lower lip and slightly turned my gaze away so as not to look at his face.
“…You should still sleep. Move around more during the day, and take sleeping medicine at night if necessary.”
Only after saying those obvious words did it occur to me that he himself had probably already tried such efforts.
However, even at words that would be of no help, a faint hope flickered in Rastan’s eyes.
“Are you worried about me?”
My heart flinched, and I awkwardly changed the subject.
“You are walking around with such a darkened face that the servants are becoming anxious.”
At that, the corner of his lips curved upward faintly, unexpectedly. It was a strange smile that seemed both bitter and slightly relieved.
“I see. I will be careful.”
Even though simply being careful wouldn’t improve his darkened face caused by lack of sleep, Rastan merely nodded at my words.
Then, as if something had suddenly come to mind, he spoke.
“Ah, I heard that your father and elder brother have left the Capital.”
“What? Why?”
“I recently heard that they sold the Krone estate, so I assume they repaid their debts with that and left the Capital. They would not have had the money to buy a new residence in the Capital.”
It was the first I had heard of it.
‘Ah…’
However, considering my relationship with them, it would have been more strange if they had carefully informed me of such matters.
‘Come to think of it, just before leaving the mansion, I had paid one month’s interest to the creditor who had taken the mansion as collateral.’
Even then, the mansion had already been on the verge of being seized, so it was remarkable that they had managed to hold out until now.
It was somewhat unexpected news, but I accepted it calmly. Rastan examined my face as if observing my reaction and then spoke carefully.
“Are you perhaps disappointed? The mansion where you were born and raised has fallen into someone else’s hands.”
“No.”
“If you want, I will buy it back.”
Again, again. Because he kept acting so gently like this, was that why I had done everything he asked without even knowing his true identity?
The kissing, sleeping together, even the contract engagement. But…
“I am not saying that out of politeness. It is true that I was born and raised there, but it is also the place where I was abused, so I do not feel that attached to it.”
Even though I had memories there with my mother, she had suffered because of my father in the end and passed away, so the more I thought about it, the more it only made my heart ache.
“I see. I said something unnecessary.”
In my previous life, I had once spoken a little about my family circumstances while talking with Rastan.
However, even though the Rastan of this life shouldn’t know anything, he strangely accepted my words immediately.
Although I was feeling many conflicting emotions toward him right now, I was still grateful that he had said that, so I made sure to thank him.
“Thank you for thinking of it.”
It was only something I said somewhat out of courtesy, but Rastan’s pupils trembled.
“…It is nothing. More importantly.”
He slightly avoided my gaze as if apologetic and changed the subject.
“I have business outside, so I plan to leave for three days starting the day after tomorrow.”
“I see. Where are you going?”
“Beksy.”
“Beksy…”
When my eyes widened, Rastan also looked at my eyes and smiled faintly, barely visible.
Wasn’t that the very region where I had completely ruined Gerald by using the hot spring development project as bait?
“As you know, they are currently in the middle of excavating monster corpses and purifying demonic energy there.”
That made sense. The Lansval Trading Company had been drained of all its cash and ruined while paying for that cost.
“However, since there are so many monster corpses being dug out of the ground, it is said that several high-ranking monsters have been drawn by the smell and are causing difficulties.”
High-ranking monsters were rare beings. Even more so in areas where people lived, rather than remote mountain regions. Naturally, a question arose.
“Recently, and even before that, it feels like high-ranking monsters are appearing often. Have the number of monsters increased compared to before?”
“That is unlikely. …Rather, it may be the doing of another demon trying to draw me out.”
The moment the word ‘demon’ came out of his mouth, I flinched. It was because I had briefly forgotten that fact while speaking with him.
I became curious why another demon would try to draw him out. However, it wasn’t a situation where I could possibly ask that right now.
“…”
As I fell silent, my face stiff with thought, Rastan’s face darkened even further. As if he regretted bringing up the topic of demons.
He let out a silent sigh and continued speaking.
“If you wish, you may go out during that time. It will be suffocating to remain here in the ducal estate with me gone.”
My eyes widened without me realizing it. After entering the ducal estate, aside from going to the Imperial Palace with Rastan, I had spent almost all my time inside here.
