KTEESH Chapter 167

However, once the seed of distrust had sprouted, it made me question everything.

‘The reason he looks so apologetic right now is because he still needs my ability.’

Normally, I wouldn’t have thought this way. But the one before me was a demon, called evil itself.

‘The Holy Scripture of Lord Legnin says, “Doubt every thought that a demon gives you.”‘

Recalling that passage, I couldn’t take his words or expressions at face value.

‘In any case, since he needs me, he will not kill me over something like this.’

Compared to his power, mine was insignificant, but it was something he absolutely needed.

‘If he wants me to continue purifying his nightmares willingly, he will at least have to pretend to appease me.’

Having thought that far, I decided to say everything I wanted without holding back.

“Either way, you tampered with my memories as you pleased. And you think saying you only used it minimally and that you are sorry is enough?”

“…To be honest, I do not regret using my power on others. But what I did to you was truly cowardly.”

“You must want to erase my memory of this situation too. Are you going to?”

“I will never do that to you again. And now, I would not even be able to.”

What did that mean?

“As your ability strengthened, it seems your mental barrier also grew stronger. Recently, my power no longer worked on you.”

“Recently?”

“In the carriage on the way back after the Princess’s tea party.”

I recalled asking Rastan then, “The Crown Princess said she has never even considered you as her consort, so why is that different from what you said?”

And at that moment, when I thought I saw a red tint mix into his eyes, I had felt my mind grow slightly hazy.

‘Then my mental barrier must have strengthened at that time, so Rastan’s ability didn’t work properly. That is why the haze quickly cleared and I was able to continue questioning him.’

Only now did I understand Rastan’s reaction back then, when he had seemed slightly flustered.

“So you used that power mainly when I asked you difficult questions.”

“That is correct.”

“I understand why you did it. If I had such an ability, I would probably want to use it in such useful ways too.”

Rastan looked at me with eyes filled with both hope and unease, waiting for what I would say next.

“But understanding it and accepting it are different things. To be honest, I am afraid of you, and I feel uneasy around you. And above all, I trusted you completely, but that trust has now been shattered.”

“That is…”

“You see, I believe the most important thing between husband and wife is not love, but trust.”

Was it my imagination that Rastan’s eyes widened slightly when I used a married couple as an example?

“If you cannot trust each other, how can you live in the same home, show each other all your weaknesses, and devote everything you have?”

As I continued speaking, Rastan’s eyes sank deeper.

“We are not husband and wife, but I believe this applies to all human relationships.”

I looked straight into his blue eyes.

“You are not an ordinary human, so I do not know if you can fully understand the sense of betrayal I feel right now.”

“Evelyn, I…”

Rastan could neither affirm nor deny it, and didn’t know what to do.

It was the first time I had seen such a side of him, who was always confident and composed.

Yet perhaps because of the betrayal I felt, strangely, seeing that expression didn’t weaken my resolve.

It seemed that the thought that he wasn’t human had created an emotional distance between us.

Because of that, I was able to say everything I wanted.

“I think we should take some time.”

“That means…”

Rastan’s pupils shook violently.

“I will not leave you right away. There is still the contract, after all. But I need some time to think about what to do with this broken trust.”

Rastan said nothing and slowly lowered his head.

If I kept looking at his pained expression, I felt like I might take back what I had said, so I lay down immediately and closed my eyes.

“Good night.”

And that night, I didn’t enter Rastan’s dream.

The sense of betrayal was too great, and I didn’t want to see his face even in a dream.

There was also, of course, fear and unease about his existence as a demon.

‘Since I’m sleeping right beside him anyway, he probably won’t have nightmares.’

I entered my own dream right away.

And when I suddenly opened my eyes at dawn, our eyes met.

It seemed he hadn’t slept at all through the night, and had only been watching me with anxious eyes.

“Evelyn…”

His low voice was dry and cracked.

But I silently closed my eyes again and turned my body away.

I could feel a suppressed sigh behind me, but I didn’t look back.

***

The next morning, after waking up, I asked Rastan, who had woken earlier and was getting ready,

“When will the renovation of the Duchess’s room be finished?”

“…Why are you asking that?”

“Because I want to use a room by myself.”

His face, which had already grown noticeably more gaunt overnight, instantly turned pale.

He was unable to say anything for a moment before finally forcing out an answer.

“…It will take quite some time.”

“What if I want to change rooms immediately?”

“Then use my room. I will move instead.”

“You are telling me to use the Head of the household’s room alone, without the Head of the household?”

It was absurd.

For someone who knew better to say such a thing meant he was that mentally shaken right now.

For a moment, I almost felt sorry for him, but I deliberately suppressed that feeling and pretended not to notice.

Thinking that I had foolishly been swayed by his intentions all this time, anger rose again, and my thoughts grew even more cynical.

‘He might be deliberately putting on this act to evoke my sympathy, since there is something he wants to obtain from me.’

In truth, aside from blurring my memories to gloss over a few situations, Rastan had generally respected me and treated me with the utmost care.

‘But there is a saying that it takes ten years to build a reputation and only five minutes to ruin it.’

That was exactly the state of the trust I had held toward Rastan.

Since I had believed in him so firmly—from my previous life until last night—the sense of betrayal was even greater.

With a cold expression, I spoke firmly.

“I know there are many empty rooms in the ducal manor. Just give me any unused room in the annex.”

“That is not possible. At least stay in the main building. Please.”

“…Alright. Then give me any room except yours and the Duchess’s room.”

“I will… inform the head butler.”

Rastan looked as if his world had collapsed, but I pretended not to notice and turned away.

The new room I would stay in was the one Rastan had used when he was a young master.

And with all available staff in the manor mobilized, it was luxuriously and comfortably prepared in just a few hours.

“You all worked hard organizing my belongings. Could you leave me alone for a while now?”

Only after sending out the maids, including Sally, was I able to drop the smile I had been forcing.

As I blankly looked around the new room, the strange things I had experienced began coming back to me one by one.

It was probably because the shock of learning Rastan’s true identity had subsided somewhat.

‘Before, at Rastan’s birthday banquet.’

Gerald had stumbled and spilled wine on the hem of my dress, and Rastan had, as if waiting for that moment, suggested that I go change.

And when I followed him to the main building, there was a dress prepared that fit me perfectly.

‘At the time, I only thought it was strange that there was a latest fashion dress in the Blake manor when no noblewoman was staying there…’

If, from the beginning, Rastan had prepared it to give to me.

If he had used his nearly omnipotent power to manipulate the situation so that Gerald would spill wine on my dress.

‘I doubt he would have gone that far, but still.’

Since it had been obvious that I would attend wearing one of Helga’s old dresses, perhaps he had wanted to change me into something better.

The events of the night I left the Lansval mansion also came back to mind one after another.

The day I had almost been kidnapped by unknown assailants at the house I had rented to stay in temporarily.

‘While Rastan was holding me in his arms, the assailants behind me collapsed with terrifying sounds.’

Thinking about it, the same thing had happened the very first day I met him in this life.

Had the thug-like debt collectors I encountered after winning money at the gambling house not collapsed in the same way?

At the time, I had found it strange that there were no guards around Rastan, but now I understood.

‘Rastan had used his power. And under the pretense that it wasn’t something pleasant to see, he made sure I wouldn’t witness the moment he used it.’

Thinking of him breaking people’s bones with nothing more than a glance sent a chilling shiver down my spine.