IWPU 11

Chapter 11

“No. It’s fine.”

At my response, the nanny immediately thrust the dress toward me. It was a lime-colored gown embroidered with silver-threaded flowers.

“We don’t have time to do your hair and makeup. Hurry, try it on. Quickly!”

She rushed me, saying we were short on time. The maids dressed me and tended to my hair and face. The nanny braided my hair into two sections and coiled them into a bun. A silk ribbon matching the lime dress was tied so that it dangled from the braid.

“Oh my, you look so beautiful.”

“There’s no one in this empire more beautiful than you.”

The lime dress and ribbon suited my golden-brown hair quite well. The maids cooed over me, endlessly showering me with compliments like “beautiful” and “stunning.”

I remained indifferent to their exclamations.

Once, I too believed I was the most beautiful person in the world. Everyone around me praised my beauty—how could I not be deluded?

Not that I think I’m ugly now. Objectively speaking, I still consider myself quite attractive. But I wasn’t the most beautiful in the empire, no matter what they said. I knew the woman who held that title.

‘Yes, her…’

That beautiful, lovely woman with bright, clear sky-blue hair, known as the treasure of the empire.

The official reason for the imperial palace’s invitation was that the emperor wished to console the daughter of the late Marchioness. But everyone who mattered knew the real reason lay elsewhere.

The emperor had six sons in total. Including daughters, his children numbered more than a handful. He was famously virile, with one empress, two consorts, and countless concubines.

Of the six princes, the two most likely to inherit the throne were the first prince, born to the first consort, and the sixth prince, born to the former empress who had passed away long ago.

When the sixth prince was born, the emperor immediately named him the crown prince. Some nobles pleaded with the emperor to reconsider, saying the boy was too young, but the emperor rejected their appeals.

Tragically, the crown prince lost his mother—the empress—soon after birth. Though the powerful Duke Gafilt family, his maternal side, still supported him, the absence of the empress was a major blow. Making things worse, the newly appointed empress came from the aristocrat faction, putting the crown prince at a disadvantage.

The new empress came from a baron’s family and was only nineteen when she married the emperor and became empress. The emperor already had many grown children, and the noble factions were in a constant power struggle. They didn’t want the balance to shift due to the new empress.

As a compromise between the imperial and noble factions, the daughter of a minor noble family was made empress. Her family was elevated to a count’s household after her enthronement. Both the emperor’s faction, which supported the crown prince, and the aristocrat faction, which backed the first prince, were satisfied.

The empress was young enough to bear children, but the emperor was quite old. Even if she miraculously conceived, there was no guarantee the child would be male. Eventually, the empress and her family, originally from the noble faction, began to fully support the first prince.

The first prince was sixteen years older than the crown prince. All in all, things were looking worse and worse for the crown prince. To counter this, the emperor began to strengthen the crown prince’s support.

And that plan began—with me.

The Eliont marquisate had long declared neutrality. Even after the current marquis became prime minister, the family maintained that stance. There were quite a few families who remained neutral, but the Elionts were by far the most influential among them.

To both the imperial and noble factions, the Eliont family was a prize. The aristocrat faction aimed to win the marquis to their side. The cold relationship between the marquis and marchioness seemed like an opportunity to them.

Many noblewomen tried to approach the marquis, and after the marchioness’s death, their advances became even more brazen. Some even came to the estate in person. Most never made it past the gates. The marquis was cold to them all. He wouldn’t even consider their approaches. His attitude, in some way, thrilled me.

I’d heard that the emperor also tried quite hard to win over the marquis. But the marquis treated the emperor no differently than anyone else. Eventually, the emperor gave up and turned his attention—to me.

The emperor’s choice was brilliant. Not only did I come from the Eliont family, but I was also maternally connected to the powerful and wealthy Count Peaceon family. I lacked neither wealth nor status. The emperor intended to marry me to the crown prince and solidify the prince’s support base.

‘That first step was my entry into the palace.’

The emperor needed an excuse to bring me into the palace. The marchioness’s death provided a perfect pretext. As soon as the funeral ended, the emperor summoned me to the palace.

He even sent a royal carriage just for me. A grand white carriage engraved with the golden roaring lion—the imperial crest. Only a select few could ride in such a carriage—royalty or those acknowledged by the emperor. His intentions were obvious.

I got into the carriage. As expected of the imperial carriage, it was spacious and comfortable. Once I was seated, the marquis also boarded. It was the emperor’s way of accommodating my first time entering the palace. The marquis sat across from me, silent as always.

“……”

“……”

Just like then. The marquis and I didn’t speak a single word on the way to the palace. I had hoped, perhaps, for some attention from him—but he never once looked my way until we arrived.

Looking back, there was no reason I couldn’t have spoken to him first. If I wanted a conversation, I should have started one myself.

‘Whether he responded or not is a separate matter.’

Regardless, there was no need to wait for him to speak first.

‘But the me back then couldn’t even imagine initiating conversation with him.’

As much as I wanted his attention and approval, I was also terrified of him. That carriage ride was the first time I’d been alone with him for an extended period. What made me nervous wasn’t the fact that I was entering the palace—but that I was stuck in a small space with him.

The door closed and the carriage began to move. The ride was as smooth as any luxury automobile. But unlike the carriage’s comfort, I felt awful inside. The closer we got to the palace, the more unsettled I became.

It wasn’t like before, when I was a child nervous about being alone with the marquis. I didn’t crave his attention anymore.

What unsettled me now was the fact that he was at the palace.

I was afraid of seeing him.

‘More precisely—afraid of how I might change after seeing him.’

Right now, I could keep my composure. But I didn’t know if I could maintain that once I saw him.

My love for him was too deep, too intense. It was suffocating—frightening, even. That love didn’t just hurt him and those around him—it eventually destroyed me, too. I wasn’t sure I could bear that kind of emotion again with a clear mind.

‘Maybe……’

Maybe I was just worrying for nothing. Maybe things wouldn’t be the same when I saw him again. I wasn’t the same person I had been back then, after all. Many possibilities lay ahead.

As long as I lived here, avoiding him wasn’t an option. If I couldn’t avoid it, I had to face it. Whether I broke or survived—that would be something to deal with after I met him. Until then, I wouldn’t know.

Even though I understood that, I couldn’t stop my mouth from drying up. I swallowed hard and clenched my cold hands into fists.

“Like the others, do you also wish to become empress?”

The marquis’s sudden question caught me completely off guard. I looked up at him. He was watching me with a serious expression. My reflection was clearly visible in his eyes.

It was strange. Back then, he hadn’t even glanced at me, let alone spoken. I couldn’t fathom what had changed.

“Does what I want even matter?”

I answered just as I had in his office.

The marquis let out a low sigh. He looked a bit tired. The days of funeral ceremonies had worn him out. He had lost weight, and his face looked sharper than usual.

“If your thoughts didn’t matter, I wouldn’t have asked.”

That shocked me more than his speaking to me at all. I never imagined he’d ever ask about my thoughts. He never had before.

“Why are you asking now? You never cared before.”

“Because it concerns you.”

He said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I found him even more incomprehensible.

It had been my business even back then. When I became crown princess, even as I moved toward becoming empress, he had never once asked what I thought.

Had something changed in him? Or was there something I still didn’t know?

Whatever it was, I had no way of knowing yet.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“You don’t want to become empress?”

“If I say I don’t… can that change anything?”

In the emperor’s mind, I had already been designated as the crown prince’s bride. Unless there was some serious flaw with me, I was going to become crown princess. I hadn’t known this back then—but I do now.

Back then, I was too busy chasing after the crown prince to understand the political landscape. I believed I’d earned my place by his side through my own desire. At the time, it made sense—after all, I always got what I wanted. Only later did I realize how entangled our marriage was in politics. I didn’t marry him because he loved me—but because of what I could offer him.

It had all been my delusion. I felt deeply betrayed. The pain of that realization was indescribable. And yet, I couldn’t let him go.

Even if I didn’t want to marry him, the emperor would use any means to make our marriage happen.

‘After all… for the current crown prince, there’s no better match than me.’