CHAPTER 16……………………………………
When Psyche saw the carrier bird sent by Karhis, a soft smile spread across her face without her realizing it.
It was so cute and tiny.
She watched as the bird hopped onto the back of her hand and fluttered around.
Then she remembered she had to write a reply.
“I haven’t even written the letter yet.”
Startled, Psyche hurried to her desk and took out some paper.
With a pen dipped in black ink, she began to write.
‘I miss you, Karhis… No. Maybe if you’ve remembered something… No, not that either.’
She tapped the pen against the paper, lost in thought.
There were so many things she wanted to say that she couldn’t decide what to write.
At last, she steadied her pen and began writing.
Dear Karhis Ferdian,
The carrier bird you sent is truly beautiful—especially its pure white feathers. Karhis, it feels strangely awkward to write your name on paper. I can’t quite explain it.
We only parted last night, yet I already find myself missing you. And…
What did that kiss on the back of my hand mean? Was it merely a formal greeting? If I’m the only one misunderstanding, I would like you to tell me clearly.
P.S. You might find my letter dull, but I do hope you enjoy reading it.
Psyche Benoine
Psyche dropped her pen and neatly folded the letter.
She placed it into the small case attached to the bird’s leg.
“Hmm… Sorry for making you wait so long. Please deliver this to Karhis.”
“Chirp! Chirp!”
The bird cried out and soon soared high into the sky.
With its swift, graceful wings, it didn’t seem like an ordinary bird.
She narrowed her eyes slightly and muttered to herself,
“Well… it is a messenger bird, after all.”
Yes, maybe it was special.
Psyche decided not to think too deeply about it.
It would only give her a headache.
She slipped under the covers.
Bang—
But the peace she wanted didn’t last long.
Her face, buried in the blanket, twisted into a frown.
“…Psyche.”
She pulled the blanket down and looked toward the door that had just been flung open.
It was her older brother, Ayrn.
“…What are you scheming this time?”
“You dare say that, knowing what you’ve done?!”
“If you mean that matter, I’ve already spoken with Father, so there’s no need for your concern.”
She cut him off firmly, as if there was nothing more worth hearing.
“I think this happened because you’ve been behaving so disgracefully. You’ve always tarnished the family’s honor.”
His mocking tone was suffocating, always pressing people down until they eventually yielded.
But not anymore.
Psyche pressed her lips into a straight line and replied coldly,
“It’s not me who’s disgraceful—it’s your attitude. Do you really think barging into your grown sister’s bedroom brings honor to the family?”
At her calm yet sharp words, Ayrn faltered.
His pride wounded, his face twisted with anger as he slammed his fist against the wall.
“Don’t make a scene in my room.”
“Be grateful I’m not hitting you.”
“Oh? The Emperor’s sword, the commander of the imperial guard, resorting to violence against his own sister? A knight of the empire beating an innocent woman? That would set quite the example.”
Psyche’s sarcasm grew sharper.
Seeing his distorted expression only made her want to provoke him further.
“Shut your mouth.”
“If you want that, then leave. Don’t make things harder for both of us.”
She spoke elegantly, effectively dismissing him.
Unable to contain his anger, Ayrn stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
“How can he be like that…?”
Clenching her teeth, Psyche tried to suppress her rising anger.
To think she had treated him like a brother—she didn’t even want to associate with him anymore.
…
Not even a sigh came out. She simply shut her eyes tightly, wishing to fall asleep.
“Honestly…”
She was tired of people constantly being rude day after day.
To think such people were her family. Psyche wanted to escape this place.
From her ignorant past self—and from those who shared the same space under the name of family.
“So annoying…”
Everything felt suffocating, like chains tightening around her.
Could she really dismiss it as just a feeling?
The status she once took pride in now clung to her like a leech.
The labels that had always followed her echoed in her mind.
Memories flooded back, and fear crept in.
What if death came for her again?
What if she remained as helpless as before?
Even her fingertips trembled.
“Ugh…”
Her already pale face turned even more ashen.
Her slender body looked even frailer than usual.
A groan escaped her lips as pain surged through her.
Her body shivered, a chill running down her spine.
Instinctively, she pulled the bell rope repeatedly, but her strength soon gave out, and her hand fell limp onto the bed.
“…Miss!”
A scream followed.
But Psyche had already lost consciousness.
“…Mm.”
A faint groan escaped her dry lips.
Her eyes slowly opened and closed.
Why… did I collapse?
Her memory felt blurred.
She tried to recall.
She had been more exhausted than usual, and after Ayrn left, the mental fatigue must have overwhelmed her.
“Hilly?”
Hilly was dozing by the bedside.
Hearing Psyche’s voice, she jolted awake.
“M-My lady!”
“Yes, Hilly. It’s me.”
“Waaah… you’ve finally woken up!”
“How long was I asleep?”
“For over two days! I was so worried! You had such a high fever, and your face was so pale. It’s a good thing you managed to pull the bell rope. Otherwise, we wouldn’t even have known you were ill.”
Hilly spoke tearfully.
Psyche felt guilty seeing her cry so much.
“The physician said it was both physical and mental exhaustion, causing a fever. He especially told you not to be exposed to cold air.”
“I see… I didn’t realize.”
Only then did Psyche understand.
No wonder she felt so empty.
She hadn’t eaten for two days.
As soon as she realized it, hunger struck her.
“I told the butler, and he immediately went to the Duke’s office and called the physician.”
“So Father knows as well…”
Psyche frowned.
It wasn’t Hilly’s fault—but she hadn’t wanted her father to know.
Sighing repeatedly, she held her aching head.
“My lady? How do you feel now?”
“I’m fine. Just a bit tired. Hilly, could you bring me something light to eat?”
“Of course! You must be hungry—I’ll bring something right away.”
“Just some soup will do. My stomach isn’t well.”
At her gentle words, Hilly smiled and left.
“I didn’t want to show weakness…”
Psyche muttered, biting her lip.
Her composure crumbled like a sandcastle.
She felt pathetic.
Still… she shouldn’t have collapsed.
But she couldn’t help it.
For the past four days since returning, she had been tormented by nightmares every night.
The mental pressure had been overwhelming.
“Ha…”
She closed her eyes again.
Her body was still cold, her bed damp with sweat.
“My lady, I’ve brought your meal.”
Hilly returned with a tray.
“There’s still steam…?”
Psyche had expected leftovers, but the soup was freshly warm.
“It’s strange—the chef had already prepared it. As if someone told him to.”
“As if someone told him…?”
“Yes! It’s already around 4 o’clock.”
Psyche glanced at the clock.
Lunch ended at 2, so the food shouldn’t still be warm.
Unless someone had ordered it…
But she didn’t care to find out.
She slowly lifted the spoon and ate the soup.
Warmth spread through her body, and her appetite returned slightly.
She ate just enough to settle her stomach.
Even then, she didn’t feel like eating much.
Still, the feeling of being full was satisfying.
“You must’ve been very hungry.”
Psyche nodded awkwardly.
“My lady, all you need to do is eat, sleep, and rest. Don’t try to do anything—just call me.”
“Alright, Hilly.”
“Then please rest.”
After Hilly left, Psyche lay back down.
She knew it wasn’t good to sleep right after eating.
But drowsiness overwhelmed her.
Soon, she drifted off.
And in her sleep—
she dreamed of the happy days she once had.
