Chapter 19
Briana quickly picked up her pen after hearing Sebastian’s self-deprecating words.
[No, I think you risked your life to protect others.]
Sebastian read what she wrote and studied her expression.
Her face seemed full of confidence, like she trusted him more than anyone.
Briana wrote again.
[Wasn’t it someone else who sacrificed innocent lives for pointless wars of conquest? I don’t think you need to take all the blame.]
Her words made Sebastian think back to the past.
It was the day of a big celebration in the palace, a victory feast after a war.
The star of the event was, of course, Sebastian.
The soldiers who fought in the war praised him and his strategies, chatting loudly among themselves.
But Sebastian wasn’t in the banquet hall.
He was sitting by the back wall of the garden, holding the personal belongings of the fallen soldiers.
Some were bracelets made by lovers, others were letters scribbled with words like “Come back safe,” and some were letters written by mothers.
Sebastian was deep in thought, looking at the soldiers’ possessions.
That’s when someone spoke.
“The hero is nowhere to be found, and I was about to leave, but I’m glad I found you, Duke.”
It was Anastasia.
He had just met the newly crowned empress, and he greeted her with an awkward expression.
“These seem to be the belongings of the fallen soldiers.”
She asked cautiously if she could see them, and Sebastian, still holding the items, handed them over.
As she read one of the letters, her voice became slightly shaky.
She folded the letter and returned it to him.
“Make sure you deliver these carefully to their families, so their lives were not in vain.”
“Yes, I will.”
Anastasia then walked past him.
Sebastian stood and saluted her.
“Duke.”
Before he could lift his head, she called him.
When he looked up, she gazed at him with kind eyes and said,
“I don’t think you need to carry the burden of those who are already gone.”
After that, Anastasia left.
Those days were filled with judgment from everyone.
Being of low status, he had lived thinking his very existence was a sin.
So, Anastasia’s words were a shock to him.
Even after she left, he stood there for a long time, trying to process it.
He was lost in thought when he looked at Briana.
Again.
Once again, he felt traces of Anastasia in her.
As he stared at her, Briana’s cheeks turned red.
She quickly hid her face behind her notebook.
[Stop staring.]
After reading her message, Sebastian cleared his throat and looked away.
Around them, people were starting to notice them.
It was 2 PM, the time when noblewomen often visited the café.
If they saw this scene, it would definitely become a topic of conversation at the tea parties and various gatherings they hosted.
“Who is that woman who keeps writing but doesn’t speak?”
“I don’t think I’ve seen her before. I heard the late empress’s mute servant was like that…”
“Is she Lady Clark? No way.”
“Lady Clark is being mentioned as a possible empress. Don’t you know?”
Now, even Briana was starting to get attention.
Maybe this was a good choice after all.
If rumors about her spread, people might start questioning all the negative rumors about Sebastian that he had to endure.
Briana had come to understand that Sebastian seemed to enjoy a simple, peaceful life.
Could such a person really have joined the war on his own will?
“The Duke enjoys bloodshed, so the Emperor allowed him to go to war.”
That’s how Sebastian became known as the “demon” and “warhound.”
Cassius had said the same thing when she was Anastasia.
“The Duke has a strong obsession with blood because of his past.”
Cassius had blamed Sebastian for the brutal wars and tried to twist it into his own issue.
But Anastasia hadn’t fallen for it.
She had stopped the war by force and then freed Sebastian from it.
Though later, I did send him to the north…
Sebastian felt guilty about sending him to the north.
As Briana momentarily got lost in thought, Sebastian spoke.
“It feels pretty chaotic today.”
[There must be an event to celebrate the abundance of crops in the spring.]
“Ah, that event always happens on the last day of the last month of winter.”
Briana carefully observed Sebastian’s expression.
His face was full of curiosity as he gazed out the window.
I wonder if he’s ever enjoyed such events.
Thinking back, she realized that Sebastian had always gone to war during the winter months (December to February).
When he came back, it was always the start of spring.
She then quickly moved her pen.
[Would you like to go with me?]
Sebastian’s eyes caught the word “together.”
Had he ever shared something with someone?
In his memories, he had always been alone.
Even when he was young at the palace, no one was by his side.
His mother had been the Emperor’s concubine, but she was never acknowledged as a proper consort, so they couldn’t meet freely.
Even when they did meet, the harsh words would always come.
“Because of you, my life is ruined!”
Sebastian grew up without knowing affection.
So, Briana’s suggestion felt unfamiliar, but not unpleasant.
Sebastian stood up and reached out his hand to her.
“Alright. Let’s go enjoy it together.”
Seeing his excited look, Briana hesitated but took his hand.
Once they stepped out of the café, Briana tried to let go of his hand.
She thought he had only offered it out of politeness.
But then…
“There will probably be a lot of people at the event.”
Sebastian said, holding her hand tightly.
They had only walked a little before a man’s voice shouted nearby.
“Hey, you beggar! How dare you dirty my clothes? They’re more precious than your body!”
It seemed like a nobleman and a child had bumped into each other in the commotion.
Briana immediately moved toward the sound.
As she got closer, she saw the child picking something up from the ground.
It looked like a sprouted potato.
The child quickly cradled the potato and stood up.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
“Does ‘sorry’ fix everything? Do you think the world runs smoothly with just that?”
“I’m really sorry. I was in a hurry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”
The child kept apologizing, trying not to drop the potato he was holding tightly.
But the nobleman wasn’t ready to let it go.
“Look at the filthy clothes you’ve ruined. Do you think I have to walk around in these dirty clothes because of you?”
“I’m really sorry, but…”
“Shut up! Who are you to talk back? You filthy thing!”
The nobleman raised his hand, ready to strike the child.
The child, scared, sat down quickly, and in the process, the precious potato fell again.
The nobleman chuckled.
“Who’s making a fuss over something no one would even eat?”
He then tried to step on the potato with his foot.
“No, please don’t!”
The child quickly grabbed the nobleman’s leg to stop him from stepping on it.
“Ugh, don’t touch me with those dirty hands!”
The nobleman raised his hand again, about to slap the child.
At that moment, Briana moved toward the nobleman.
But before she could reach him, someone else stepped in.
