chapter 19
“After all, I desperately needed the blessing of the fairy to ease my pain.”
Was it truly me, Melanie from the novel, who liked Polius as a person?
When I thought about it, I wasn’t so sure.
If someone asked me what I liked about him, I could only answer, “He’s kind… he’s gentle…”
The “fairy’s blessing” that neither my half-brother, Lord Damian Matap, nor my father, Count Beldert, possessed—Polius had that rare gift. That was what mattered to me.
And as I spoke, I realized again: I hadn’t loved Polius himself, but the power he had to ease my suffering.
“To be honest, it was dependence. Like being addicted to medicine. But now, I have to break free.”
“So now, without the blessing, don’t you have to take a lot of painkillers?”
“Well… it’s tough, but what can I do? Still, meeting Polius is more… mentally…”
But I couldn’t finish my sentence.
It wasn’t that Lord Damian Matap’s question was difficult to answer.
“Ugh.”
“My lady? What’s wrong all of a sudden?”
I drew a labored breath. The sudden pain made it hard even to open my eyes.
Just a moment ago, I had been comfortably watching a movie, moving in no strenuous way at all. I had merely reached for the popcorn bag I was holding while talking.
And yet, suddenly, cold sweat broke out and my body started showing alarming symptoms.
‘Damn… even though I’ve been working since this morning and feeling fatigued, it was tolerable until just now. I never expected the symptoms to appear without warning.’
The pain came suddenly but was familiar.
I knew well the side effects of taking large amounts of painkillers, including muscle cramps.
“…It’s okay. Just a cramp.”
But after a brief moment of panic, I composed my expression and smiled at Lord Damian Matap.
“Sorry, but where were we in our conversation?”
Lord Damian Matap did not answer immediately. After a short silence, he finally spoke.
“It seems that staying active until this hour was too much for you. Experiencing such sudden spasms?”
“….”
“Is this your illness, or a side effect of the painkillers?”
“It’s nothing serious. I just took a lot of painkillers because I moved around a lot today.”
Other people probably assumed I was unwell simply because of my health.
Ah, so he saw me sneaking painkillers earlier.
“The side effects of the painkillers will get worse over time.”
“I’m okay.”
I answered casually, but surely my tolerance to the painkillers would build, and I’d need more to feel the same effect.
‘Even if, just in case, something goes wrong and I don’t receive the saint’s blessing…’
Rather than becoming a sick, dependent lady entirely reliant on Polius, I preferred my current self.
Even if I collapsed and never rose again, I liked who I was now.
Though my memories from my past life reading the novel were hazy, my experience with films remained vivid—going to the cinema, endlessly using OTT services.
So even if I hadn’t known a saint would appear, I would have made the same choices.
“I will not regret breaking off my engagement with Polius.”
“….”
Lord Damian Matap did not reply. He simply observed me silently for a long time. I didn’t look away this time.
A week after the meeting, I decided to tour a filming site with Lord Damian Matap.
I had recently been informed that filming for the video adaptation was delayed, which had been worrying me.
‘They said not only is the speed slower, but the quality is dropping too.’
I remembered the footage of Spring in Fresenia that I had watched with Lord Damian before.
Though it was based on a pre-existing play and the content was excellent, some parts of the adaptation’s direction were lacking.
“Hello, Director. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I wasn’t present when the contract for this project was finalized, so this is our first meeting.”
When Lord Damian and I arrived at the site, the director greeted us.
Despite their words of welcome, there was tension and caution.
They were probably worried that the filming had been slower than expected and that I, as the client who provided the funding, might interfere excessively.
“The pleasure is mine.”
To avoid awkward silence, I jumped straight to the main topic.
“I came today to see if you’re having any difficulties using the directing equipment.”
“Oh… no, it’s working well. The Matap Tower lent us such valuable equipment…”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
I smiled at the director, who was nervously gauging me, complimenting them for now.
“Other directors suggested adding color options to the stage lighting and finer brightness controls. What are your thoughts?”
Of course, there were no other directors; I was the first to visit.
Still, the director nodded at my suggestion—a good sign.
“Yes, adding those options would certainly make directing easier and better.”
“And when we tested the devices before distributing them, there was a slight delay of a few seconds after activation. Is that okay for you?”
I maintained the attitude of genuinely wanting to hear about difficulties rather than inspecting the site as a superior.
The director gradually relaxed and led me through the site.
“It’s better to show you rather than explain in words.”
I successfully followed into the set naturally.
“Impressive.”
I winked at Lord Damian, who was watching me with curiosity.
“Lord Damian, you’re good at organizing meetings. I have the same talent for leading this.”
From the start, saying that a director’s work is unsuitable for video adaptation might provoke resistance. But I had experience in cultural media, unlike a typical aristocratic lady.
Though I wasn’t an expert on directing, my past life’s exposure to films and other media would help.
Moreover, being with Lord Damian meant we could discuss necessary equipment in real time.
The core of the video project is the footage itself.
I wanted to produce high-quality footage, combining my knowledge and ideas with Damian’s magical abilities.
“The filming equipment you lent us is great because it’s invisible and convenient… but the stage crew has no filming experience.”
Still, the magic artifact cameras from the Matap Tower had advantages over ordinary cameras—they were invisible, allowing natural angles and better immersion for actors.
Yet directing was still essential.
“What about adjusting the camera angles? Lord Damian, that’s possible, right?”
“Yes, it is.”
I subtly steered the conversation to directing while seemingly just talking to Damian.
Even someone initially resistant opened up when I framed it as feedback for the magical equipment.
“Since stage plays and video adaptations differ, for this scene, capturing emotional acting with the upper body in focus would be best.”
“Oh.”
“When the protagonist falls, shooting from above rather than straight on could work too. We can even float the camera.”
The director and crew immediately began adapting my suggestions.
“While filming, additional directing can also be added…”
“I just thought of something: what if the camera moves dynamically according to the protagonist’s personality?”
“Wouldn’t that be distracting?”
“No, this particular scene…”
The crew, who had seemed stuck earlier, now offered ideas eagerly.
“Thank you. Discussing this gives us ideas we hadn’t tried before. The advancement of technology…”
But the director suddenly paused, muttering quietly.
“Ah, someone who wanted to experiment so much… now can’t even touch this equipment.”
“Who are you talking about?”
“Oh, someone from the Beldert troupe.”
The Beldert troupe was intentionally excluded from the video adaptation contract.
‘That’s my ex-fiancé’s family, and also Lord Damian’s family…’
Upon hearing that, I caught the glance of a man who had long insisted he was no longer part of the Belderts, rushing out before.
