Chapter 165

The next morning, Arcia met me in her room just like yesterday, her eyes wide.

“You look unwell. Did something happen?”

“It’s nothing serious. I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

In truth, I had woken in the middle of the night with too many thoughts swirling to fall back asleep.

The cause was the memory of the real Idel from the first timeline that I had seen in a dream.

“So they really were lovers…”

The scene of Terence accepting Idel’s confession was still vivid in my mind.

“Sigh… I told myself it wouldn’t do me any good to get involved, yet…”

“But it’s good for Tei.”

“You really are impossible,” I muttered.

Terence smiled shyly, a little bittersweet, and that smile carried the joy Idel must have felt back then. I felt happiness and sadness at once.

And a vile jealousy welled up in my chest.

I hated seeing him smile like that for someone else—even if it was the real Idel.

“I really do love Terence.”

When I was married to Liandro, I hadn’t felt this way, even when he spent all day with a female secretary.

Back then, I only felt upset that he didn’t spend enough time with me, and humiliated that I wasn’t respected as his wife.

But now, it wasn’t just jealousy—I even found myself wishing I were the real Idel.

“I’m insane… what right do I have…?”

Unintentionally, I had taken over Idel’s body, yet I even wished to erase the fact that she and Terence were lovers.

I felt sorry for Idel. But the emotions I felt for Terence were far stronger than my guilt toward her.

I could not give up Terence.

That was the conclusion I reached after a whole night of torment, wrestling with guilt, jealousy, and resentment toward fate.

I knew it was selfish, but imagining life without Terence was impossible.

Having made my feelings clear, two choices were now before me:

Should I tell Terence everything, or pretend I didn’t know and keep it to myself?

“If it were the Terence I know, he’d say the first timeline is just a past that no longer exists, and that the person he loves now is me.”

Even last night, when he was told of the possibility in the second timeline that he might have survived and taken revenge on Riena and Mihail, he barely seemed concerned.

Perhaps because he hadn’t read the novel directly, he focused only on the reality before him.

So maybe it’s better not to poke at it unnecessarily…

“Um, Idel?”

At that moment, seeing Arcia’s innocent face calling me, I felt slightly embarrassed—like an adult caught thinking naughty thoughts being confronted by a pure child.

“No, I shouldn’t just keep it to myself. In a relationship, honesty matters.”

I resolved to tell Terence everything, starting after I handled the pressing task of the Saintess verification.

“Sorry. I got lost in thought for a moment.”

“No! That’s fine.”

“Also, could you just call me Idel, not ‘Idel-sama’?”

“How dare I, Saintess…”

“Arcia is taking the Saintess role now, right?”

“That’s true, but—”

“It’s my wish.”

“…Alright. I’ll try if it’s your request, Idel.”

Just removing one honorific, yet Arcia stammered, and I looked at her with a warm smile before reaching for my handbag on the floor.

Today, the divine creature hadn’t followed me because it had other tasks, so my attention was elsewhere.

Soon, I placed a leather belt on the table.

“This is the artifact that will help us during the Saintess verification.”

It was one of the inventions the eccentric inventor had given me long ago.

Kaise had warned that it had fatal side effects, to only use it in life-or-death situations—but for some reason, the side effects posed no issue for me.

“I’ll wear this and open the door instead of Arcia. Then Arcia will…”

I explained the plan in detail, and Arcia listened attentively like a diligent student.

“That’s the end of the explanation. We’ll do practical training tomorrow. Can you come to the location I mentioned?”

“I’ll come, even if I have to sneak over the wall.”

“That’s just fine. Practical training isn’t mandatory, so don’t stress too much.”

“We need to be as thorough as possible. By the way, are you leaving after this?”

“Ah… actually, could I see the verification door once more?”

Arcia readily agreed, and I went to the deepest part of the Grand Temple wearing my priest robes, just like yesterday.

Clap! I snapped my palms together and noticed the corpse of a dead insect.

“What’s a mosquito doing in this season?”

I caught it before it could bite.

“Ah, wash your hands here!”

Arcia pointed to a water fountain in the corner of the room.

Given the temple’s long history and the generous donations from followers, the facilities were impressive.

After washing my hands, I stood before the verification door.

This was the moment I would confront someone who could potentially be the biggest obstacle to Riena being recognized as a Saintess.

“Big obstacle, huh? That’s harsh.”

In the white expanse, the goddess Miela spoke.

“So, you have no intention of interfering with me?”

“Why would I interfere with you?”

“You care about Riena. You could help her be recognized as a Saintess. Even if I make all these preparations, you know a single gesture from the goddess could undo everything.”

To avoid such a disaster, it was necessary to get a clear answer from the goddess before the verification—confirmation that she would not intervene.

Though she favored Riena, the goddess had also shown kindness to me, allowing me opportunities to secure the mines and the divine creature ahead of her.

If I persuaded her well, I might be able to get the answer I wanted.

The goddess replied without hesitation.

“You don’t need to worry. I care for Riena, yes, but I care for you as well. Or rather, I care for all of you.”

“Really? Then why did you just stand by while Riena made all those mistakes?”

“Hmm… was what Riena did really so bad?”

The question was utterly absurd.

“Of course it was! You saw the suffering of those forced to love Riena! And the real Idel lost the chance to be adopted!”

“I saw that. But if you say that’s wrong, haven’t you committed wrongs too?”

“Excuse me? What wrong have I committed?”

I couldn’t claim to have lived like a saint, but I didn’t recall committing any wrongdoing comparable to Riena.

“You just killed a mosquito, didn’t you?”

That remark completely exceeded my expectations, and I was speechless.

“…A mosquito? Is that really wrong? Well, strictly speaking, it is a life, so it’s wrong… I guess.”

“Not a great sin like Riena’s? Why not? Because a mosquito’s life is insignificant and human happiness is precious?”

“I didn’t put it that way.”

“But that’s what you think.”

“…Isn’t that normal reasoning?”

“For humans, yes. But what about mosquitoes? Shall we ask one passing by? Which is more important, the life of a mosquito or the happiness of many humans?”

“Well, a mosquito would say its life is more important. But I’m human. Even trying to be fair, I cannot place human happiness beneath a mosquito’s life.”

“Exactly. You are human, so it’s natural to judge from a human perspective. And a mosquito would naturally judge from a mosquito’s perspective.”

I thought I could hear the goddess laughing.

“Then what perspective should I, who am neither human nor mosquito, use to judge?”

“……”

“Neither. I don’t divide my creations into good and evil, as you humans do. Understand?”

Her voice echoed throughout the space.

“All of you are my creations, living your finite lives earnestly. Equally valuable, yet equally without value.”

At that moment, I fully realized that the goddess was fundamentally different from me—a being I could never hope to understand in a lifetime.

Any attempt at logical rebuttal would be useless.

Just as I cannot fully understand the absolute goddess, she cannot fully understand me.

“…So that means you didn’t choose Riena out of pity or special care.”

“Exactly. And pity… that concept hardly resonates with me.”

“Then why choose Riena out of all your countless creations?”

“Why do you think?”

“…Pure chance?”

“Correct. Fair, wouldn’t you say?”

While I wallowed in disbelief, Miela continued to speak to me.

“In any case, I promise. I will neither punish Riena nor actively help her. You intend to punish her, yes?”

“…Yes. Unlike you, we humans judge actions as good or evil. That moral framework allows society to function.”

Riena had caused misfortune to many.

I could not allow her to enjoy the overwhelming power of a Saintess without any consequences.

The goddess listened silently before replying.

“Good. I want to see it too—humans, not gods, enacting human justice.”

At that moment, outside the room where the verification door was kept.

Arcia was confronting the person she least wanted to face right now.

“Hello. I got permission from the High Priest and came to use the verification door.”

Riena, handcuffed and flanked by guards, stepped close to Arcia.

“Move, you fake.”